defuse00
Please tell us about the cursed board game, I want to know
Ok. I have told this story before but Iām sure Iāve got some new people.
Some board games are bad because theyāre overly complicated and confusing. This game was not like that. There was a board with a start point and an end point connected by a bunch of colored squares. There were two dice. There was a stack of cards.
There was no competitive aspect. There was no strategy. Iām not sure there was any way to win, per se. The sole action in the game was to roll the dice and move forward that many spaces, and no matter what square you landed on, you drew a card. The square and the number were irrelevant beyond that it got you a little closer to ending the game while enduring as little public humiliation as possible.
I went first. The card I drew announced that for the rest of the game, every player not currently taking their turn had to communicate in sign language. I was the only one who knew any sign language. Everyone else was stuck with charades until they eventually forgot/gave up, because oh boy was this just the beginning.
One of my coworkers drew a card, mutely started flailing his arms, and ran out of the room. When he returned he showed us his card, which read āact like a tornado is about to hitā. Someone else got ātalk like a gnome who just burned a batch of cookies until another card tells you not toā. They were all like this. Again, there was no scoring. There were no āgoodā squares to land on. You simply moved your game piece and took your punishment. And it was a long board. There were a lot of cards.
Eventually my fellow GA (and also the grad student association president) whoād drunk the entire bottle of gas station wine got desperate and every time someone rolled their dice she went āWOW! TWO SIXES! SO GREAT! WEāRE CLOSER TO THE END NOWā until someone finally made it to the last square. Theoretically we could have stopped at any time prior to that but I think we knew in our hearts that if we tried, the game would not let us.
I donāt remember what it was called, and I donāt think our boss knew where she got it. Iām convinced it manifested.
















