#defensive shield

“Sio-chan...she’s, she’s going...”

The sun was hanging low in the sky now, casting orange hues on her face. Next to her, the Indian stood, arms crossed but expression otherwise completely neutral.

“Yeah. She’s got to. It’s just the way it is.”

“Y-Yeah...I know, I know...” 

When their beloved sniper had first revealed her strategy, just to her platoon, Newton had been shocked. Not just the extent to which their enemies had spread throughout their planet, but just how they would even be able to deal with this--

“--I-I suppose, it’s better than just lying down and giving up...”

“Huh?” Onyx eyes gave her a glance.

“I mean, this plan...poor Sio-chan, down there all alone...by herself for who knows how long...”

Even though she was considered an ‘S’ on the field, and warm and motherly when off, Newton couldn’t stop the tears from falling. It was so unfair; as if the team hadn’t suffered enough already, when she lost control during that disastrous battle in the Bay Area, and just when she thought that they could finally breathe a sigh of relief and get back to their more-or-less ‘normal’ routine...

Warm hands clapped her shoulders, though she made no moves to return his embrace. “Ah, I know...not just her, but him, as well...”

He didn’t mention a name, but they both knew whom that was referring to. Their leader, Adam Muirhead, a.k.a. Jack the Ripper, who had really been Florence Nightingale all along. Their tumultuous start, complete with bickering and teasing and the occasional hurt feelings...to something warm and wonderful, and just from her looking from the outside, it always gave her a boost to see how happy the two of them were together, whether they were sharing hot chocolate or sharing a kiss.

“It’s not fair! Why does it have to be her to do this? Gods, I sound like a film line...” Wiping her tears, she accepted his tissue this time, blowing her nose even though it sounded most un-ladylike.

“Because unfortunately, neither your e-gene nor mine has the correct requirements. Kaoru Asao...she’s special, different. I mean, the fact they even managed to give her a second e-gene and AU ball, without the whole incarnation factor...I don’t even want to imagine what that took.” Gandhi rubbed her hair, and she leaned against him slightly, inhaling the scent of those spices that always seemed to be a part of him, even aboard this base.

“...Bollocks. Why can’t we go at least partway--do something?! Instead, we’re stuck up here...while she’s, down there...”

Gandhi shrugged. “If only we could control our e-genes like that. You know that, Newton. Know that perhaps better than any of us...”

He was right. She had been among the first, if not the first--aside from old Capa--to be a part of DOGOO. She’d basically grown up with them, seen Iyo as both a parental and authoritative figure, Saint-Germain chasing after her with those chalk sticks just as he did Sio whenever she skipped class...

“Heh. I guess it doesn’t matter how young you start training. If your e-gene isn’t good enough...there’s nothing you can do.”

At this statement however, the man’s eyes narrowed, and he pushed her from his chest. “Not good enough? Newton, this isn’t exactly the time to be berating ourselves! Our battle above ground is just as important--like Jack said--”

“--Oh stop it! Just stop it, Mahesh!” In her rage his real name slipped out, and the shock was clear in his dark eyes. “Like I told Sio when we first met, my only power is changing the gravitational field of things I step on. That’s it. Forget about killing a handful of them like that, let along spreading across the entire ocean--”

“--And so by that virtue you consider yourself useless? Even though you’ve proven time and time again that you are just as capable in your own ways?” Rarely did Gandhi ever get so riled up, but with such a quick succession of emotional distress, even his e-gene could no longer hold everything back. “At least you can actually attack. You think I like hearing the words ‘Barrier Guy’ each time I head out with that Tell? ‘Gandhi, raise your barrier! Gandhi, defend the back! Gandhi, can’t you do anything else?’ Hē bhagavāna!”

He swore, the words just as spiteful and angry as those from the woman before him. Her sapphire eyes were wide and shiny, but she made no moves to retaliate, only both of them heaving from their outbursts. “Forget it; you know what, forget I just said that. We’re both on edge...”

“...Apologies.” 

“No; I’m sorry for taking it out on you.” Sighing, he stared out at the sinking sun, which was almost swallowed by the watery horizon now. “Heh, how sad; the two of us lamenting about this, and we’re not even the ones directly involved.”

It wasn’t just about their battles to come, but something deeper. Their leader, and his beloved sniper... When Adam had first admitted (while drunk) that he liked Sio, he had warned him. That relationships in this line of work would walk that fine line between something to keep you sane, and something to drive you insane.

‘I’m not saying I don’t trust you, Adam. But I...these types of relationships, they’re...’

‘Walkin’ into a minefield, eh?’ The silver-haired man took another shot, despite the fact that he was already quite wasted. ‘Like your midnight wanderin’s are any better...’

Mahesh winced, because leave it Adam to stab him directly in his weak spot. ‘Okay, I know I’m not the one who should be saying such things, but a casual hookup...emotions are a messy thing, mate.’

The other man snorted. ‘Hnn. Don’t I know it...but it’s pointless for me try and fight it. I can’t; I think about her all the time--I can’t, stop--’

‘--Then go for it. If you really feel so strongly for her, then give her your everything. At this point, you’re already better along than I am...’ The Indian swirled his glass, wondering just at what point would he ever advance beyond just the casual one-night stand, or the continuous flirting. 

“...In a sense, I actually envy him.” The blonde turned, staring at his words. “Don’t get me wrong--I can’t even begin to imagine just how hard this will be on him...to regain what you have lost, only to lose it again...but, the fact that they have such a deep bond...”

He didn’t say the next part, but he knew Newton was thinking the same. At what point would either of them get there--whether it was with each other or eventually other people--or perhaps they just weren’t meant to be the type to fall deeply in love?

Maybe it was a sort of punishment, for his looser days, or maybe in the end they just weren’t meant to be. Though he and the blonde had always been a unit, and somehow unconsciously adapted the title of ‘couple #2′ in the Second Platoon, the thought of loving someone so much to the point of self-sacrifice...

“I wonder what it’s like; to love someone on that depth.” She whispered, still leaning against his chest. “Maybe I could have, at one point, but now...” Her heart had been effectively ripped out when she was a child, and it hadn’t healed since.

“I don’t know; I can’t claim to have ever been in such a type of relationship.” As harsh it was to say that to her, he knew that she agreed with him. The two of them maintaining this strange, half-lovers, half-friendship type of relationship; lately the thought of perhaps asking her to enter something more exclusive with him had crossed his mind, but each time it came, the overwhelming fear and deep-seated bastion that told him, ‘you’re not worthy of love.’

“How can you still be so calm about all this.” Her words took him by surprise, despite the situation. “Sio-chan’s going away--she could be gone for months—years—or even—“ 

He cut her off with a single finger to her lips, silencing the blonde before she could speak the worst possible outcome. “I know. Believe me, although Gandhi’s spirit allows me to be more…composed about this situation, I’m still scared. What’s going to happen to her, to us, the entire world…” Gently he took her hands into his, noting that they were shaking just like his. “I’m scared all the time. But if I stop to think about it for even one second, I’ll just lose it; and that’s not something we can afford right now.”

His eyes closed and Newton bit her lip. Of course he was afraid for their team. After all these years of knowing him, both in front of and behind the mask, he was just like her; a lost child still searching for approval.

“I’m sorry; I should’ve known. It’s just…those two…how hard it’s going to be for them…”

“It’s okay. At this point, my reputation practically proceeds me, so I shouldn’t be surprised…” Patting her back, he handed her another tissue, which she gratefully accepted. 

“Sio-chan…just imagining her down there, all alone…”

“She’ll come back. She has never let us down, after all. Ever since we first met her back in Taiwan…when she gets that certain look on her face, you can’t help but trust her.”

The sun had faded now below the horizon, only faint traces of pink and yellow mingling with the dark blues. Small chatter from the ship’s crew were filling the rest of the hall, and reluctantly the blonde parted from his embrace, not wanting to create an awkward moment.

“We…should probably go eat now.” Her words sounded hollow though, especially since she knew for a fact that neither Sio nor Adam would be showing their faces for the rest of the evening, not when they had so precious little time left together.

“Yeah…no, actually, I want to take a page from their book.”The indian stopped in his tracks and Newton turned around in confusion. “If the rest of the platoon’s not going to be there…why should we? Who’s to say we can’t just spend a quiet night in our room, as well?”

They didn’t have the luxury of upgrading to a suite as the other two had, but it didn’t matter. His room or hers, what mattered was that they weren’t all alone, in this time when it felt like everything could shatter at any minute.

Blue eyes turned up in a small smile, and she wiped her tears.. “Hah…sure, I’d…I’d like that. I guess I’ll just grab something and then come back…”

“Wonderful. I’ll see you in my room, then.”

Maybe one day he would summon up the courage, or whatever crazy strength that had allowed Adam to confess and allow himself to be wrapped up in this strange, glorious notion of love. But for now, this would have to do: this strange, precarious balance between friends and lovers, comrades and acquaintances.