#deerburning

Wednesday, January 7th 2015

01:11 a.m KST

I was so darn busy lately. I just got back from China on Monday and I immediately rushed to his apartment because he was sick. You can't even imagine how worried I was. But the thing I hate is, he made me waiting in front of his door because he was enjoying his bathing time. For 30 minutes I stood there! And when he opened the door I hit him with my bag and then we fought like a kid (again). Tickling, teasing, then hugging and kissing ㅋㅋ

I decided to sleep with him but yeah, nothing happened in that night. We were just talking until we both fell asleep. He was so warm. That's why I love sleeping in his embrace.

But in the morning, I had to go for my schedules and left him while he was still in his deep slumber. He still need more rest than me. Glad that he's fine now. Don't be sick anymore, love.

Oh well, tonight...

After I finished my schedules, I straightly went to his apartment because I miss him yet he wasn't there that time. But I choosed to wait for him to come home. I felt so bored and he told me he will be home around 8 p.m. Then I got an idea.

I teased him by telling him a "story" when he was still outside. And when he arrived... He stared at me with his burning eyes. He was really burning and he excused himself to take a bath first and he told me to stay on his bed. I crawled to his bed and wrapped myself with his warm blanket because I only wore, uhm, lingerie that he bought for me months ago.

I pretended to sleep when he finished and walked out only with towel wrapped around his lower body and his hair was still wet. Holy chicken feet, Lee Jonghyun!

And there he was and he said, "I really need you."

I couldn't reject him because the truth is I need him too. I'm aching to feel his touch on me and his plump red lips on mine... He pulled me closer to him and he is fully mine tonight. Only mine.

11.48 am kst

Welcome to 2015. I almost wrote 2014 instead of 2015. Happy new year!

My Jan 1st wasn’t going well. Yoona was sulking. I don’t know she still sulks or not now. She hasn’t replied my message. But guess she is still in her dreamland.

We didn’t have any special moment in new year’s eve. We had schedule. But i was glad because we had same schedule. Well, even though we were in same building, it was hard to meet nor contact her. Both of us were busy.

There’s one thing i couldn’t forget since it was embarrassing yet unforgetable moment. The final session of MBC gayo daejun was about coming. I was in my room (CNBLUE room exactly) at that time, preparing myself in the corner. Others were busy with their stuffs. What shocked me was a pair of arms suddenly hugging my neck, the owner of those arms jumped like a kid then shouted happy new year. It took for 5 seconds for me to realize it’s yoona. She kissed my cheek and just ran leaving me, didn’t even give me any chance to say something. Minhyuk and yonghwa hyung laughed, but jungshin laughed louder than others. Some noonas were teasing me. They said they rarely saw my face blushing. I really wanted to kill yoona because she embarrassed me. But my happy feeling was much much bigger.

I used my own car when i went to MBC. So i didn’t need to join others to go home using van. Besides, we live separately now. We didn't live together anymore like we used to live.

Yoona and i went home together. Well..since i missed her so much, i chose to sleep in yoona’s place. Sometime i sleep in her place, and sometime she sleep in my place. We don’t have much time to go hang out or else because of our schedules. Sleeping together is enough for us. How about you, yoona?

In the early morning of 1st day in 2015, kim jonghyun texted me to meet him in a park near our company, which is near from yoona’s place. She must be so tired. She didn’t even get awaken when i moved her hand away from my waist. That’s why i didn’t wake her up.

I had an intention to go back to yoona after meeting jonghyun. But suddenly i remembered i had something to do. 

I texted her in the end of afternoon. Glad she replied me. But after having conversation for around 30 minutes, i fell asleep.

I texted her again right after i woke up. The way she replied me was different. I asked her whether she was upset or not. But she kept saying she wasn’t upset. I know her not for fucking 1 month. Of course i know she was upset. And finally she said to me directly that..yes she was upset. Can she just tell me the truth? But she said girls are always like that. Heol!

When i said i missed her, she said she didn’t. She even kept saying she hates me. I really knew well she lied. Just..i felt unwell last night. So when she said ‘i hate you because i love you’, i replied ‘so you hate loving me? alright’ instead. Then i slept.

I checked my phone in this morning right after i woke up. And what i found..

You don't hate me right, yoona? I am waiting your reply, deer. Please text me back.

So today is the last day in 2014. It means job is waiting me, hahaha. I didn't get proper sleep last night since yoona and i had our love time. Darn, how to stop smiling? 

I went to MBC for rehearsal in this so early morning. Glad it's my rest time now. Anyway, a video of me giving a birthday greeting for AOA Yuna is spreaded already. So i understand why yoona was so cold to me even in her message this morning. She kept saying "i don't want to talk with you" but she ended up talking with me again. And she also said "i don't love you", but it teased me to say "i love you too". Hahahahaha. One of my favorites is the moment when yoona getting jealous. She is irresistible. So annoying but i found it's cute. She is very sensitive when it comes to yuna.

I remember the time when i sent her a photo of me and yuna singing together on stage for FNC Kingdom. She had badmood after that. 

But i love how she tries to show her jealousy. Does it mean she love me?

I love you, yoona.

And happy birthday to yuna.

I remember the first time we had a formal dinner...

You looked so nervous that you drank water every minutes.

Then you went to the restroom every 10 minutes.

I can't forget that moment...