#deeplyknown

I have been back at Grace for a month now and I have found myself feeling homesick more than a couple of times. In these homesick moments, certain aspects of what home is sticks out most prominently in my mind; that Colorado beauty, and the intimate love of my family. I am grateful for the way my family deeply knows me and expresses their love. Known & Loved My dad is so quick to catch when I am in extra physical pain. The smallest movement, the slightest grimace and he seems to always know what exactly is causing me the pain I think I'm hiding. My mom catches when I use a different tone or speak with different words than I normally would. From that, she knows if I'm upset, angry, or if something is on my mind, and from that, she knows how to reach me. My whole family understands my levels of quiet and what they mean.  As complex as that sounds and as deeply loved as that makes me feel, when I take a step back and put the anxiety into my savior's hands, I am reminded that my Beloved knows me even more than that and His love is beyond my understanding.  My Beloved knows what is hurting, He knew before it started hurting, and He knows when the pain will cease. But the greatest love in this is that He gives me strength and rest for when I am [hurting], a fullness of peace and praise for when I am not, hope and trust for the day I never will, and an abundant overflow of joy through it all. My Beloved hears my voice speak, and He knows when I'm using my voice to mask the words of my heart. He knows how to heal me before I even know I need healed; how to call me back to Him before I start to drift away; and how to overwhelm me with the vastness of His love just when I think I couldn't be more captivated. . .

In those moments I am quiet (still in His presence) and in those moments I am not, my Beloved knows that the beauty I am missing is the beauty I see when I seek Him. He knows that deep, intimate love I am so homesick for is His own. I realize that this homesickness will probably never subside, nor should I ever feel like it has. If I stop longing and aching to be at a place of an even deeper love, an even deeper love, an even deeper love.. then I must have stopped seeking my Father's face and began to lie to myself that I have reached the capacity of His vast love. I hope to never feel completely at home until I really am, standing/falling/dancing/rejoicing/worshiping before my Abba. I don't want to find such a temporary comfort in being of the world that I miss a beauty that does not come from this place.

       Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers        leaves you speechless, Remain that way. Say nothing and listen        as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you."        - Max Lucado Overwhelmed God has so much beauty to see and love to pour into us! He is so creatively awe-some. As I sit here looking at my toe that is nail-less with an empty nail-bed, I am captured by the crazy creativeness in this alone at the thought of how a nail - something hard - comes out of this strange looking, soft, nail-bed. (It's a weird example but go with it). Think of how simple that seems, how miniscule to the world is this nail on my toe.. but what detail! How creative this is. God knows every detail. This kind of detail is within each person, there is so much beauty to come from within each one of us, and God put it there! When we seek God with all that is within us, we see so much more like God. We see His creation through the eyes of the creator. The Creator knows what is there, what He made and why He made it that way. He knows what He put into something or someone, and, oh, how amazing it is when we seek Him and find these things. You get to see more ways God works in others, in yourself, and everywhere else. I hope you think of the details within yourself and in others that are smaller than my nail-less toe-bed, and consider that if we're missing such lovely detail that is so small, we are most certainly missing His love that is so big (vise verse) - it's everywhere.. that's huge, don't miss it. Now imagine what all that beauty and love must look like in heaven. Home. Perfection. Imagine, and know that what you imagine doesn't compare. God's love blows my mind and I hope overflows from within myself. My last thought, though, after expressing so much fondness of His love, I don't want to leave you thinking I only care about what He provides for me because of His love, but that only in seeking God will you be overwhelmed with it all. <3 "You do not care for the arms of your Father; you value only the shelter of His roof." - George MacDonald/C.S. Lewis There is much more than the shelter of His roof =] - alliee-daughteroftheking

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 2 Corinthians 5:1-9.