#deepfriedgrits

3x Pints of Ice Cream

1x Pint of Heavy Cream

1x Pint of Half and Half

1x Cup of Coffee

50 fl oz chugged = 2,884 Calories

Usually, I don’t consider myself to be legit fat, just kinda husky. But sometimes I look at myself from certain angles, and 👀.

When I do these, I normally stop at strong discomfort, but this went past that point by a fair margin. Fortunately, I’ve done this enough to know when to stop, even when I’m planning on pushing my limits. Which is why I ate the two bowls of chipotle first. So to outrun the “full signals” I chugged faster than any time prior, practically pouring the fattening contents of the pitcher into me. And when it all caught up, it really caught up. It’s a shockingly fast realization that you were full many, many moments ago. You begin the calculus in your head. How much more have I chugged since that realization? Should I keep going? Oh, these buttons are really starting to press deeper into me. The natural instinct is to immediately begin unbuttoning, but the release and surge forward disrupts the balance. So you have to lean into the fabric stretching, squeezing you, because it’s actually support. And that’s when it’s time to stop.

You’d think chugging 4,000 calories in just a few minutes would have an effect.

imma be honest with you all for a moment—I’m floored at how wide I look here.