#decemberrush

Hello tumblr. Tis the first day of the last day of the month of the last day of the year. It is so crazy to think it will be 2017 so soon. This year flew by..and so much has changed and then again so much has stayed the same. I feel like I am a much stronger person than I was a year ago and that is only because of my Lord and savior. I feel like I have progressed but also like I have stayed in one place..if that makes sense.  But over the course of this next month I feel like many things will start to change. I have been feeling the wind of change for a while now. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen but I knew something needed to..and I still feel that way. I feel like I have so much going on right now and I don't want to forget anything. My thoughts are all jumbled so I need to write them down. It is crazy how I can feel like there is so much going on but at the same time I feel like nothing really is going on.?? God has been teaching me over these past few weeks about discipline and strategy. I never really realized until all this stuff started piling on top of me that I do not have good self discipline. I get ran over by my emotions sometimes or even just the day to day procrastination. I get too lost in hanging with friends or free time and I neglect the things that make me feel proud as a mother, woman of God, or family member. Just this year I have applied to go back to school, gained more responsibility at church, found new loves for music, art, travel and humanities, got my own place, Peyton has started school, drawn closer to God, ran away from God, and probably so much more that I can’t even think of right now. I have been asking God to show me my calling for a while now..and now all these things seem to be happening. I’m not sure if they all are related or what..but I guess only time will tell. Lord, I am trusting you to lead me in the right directions. The enemy has been fighting me super hard lately. I have realized some people I have to cut out of my life, and some things I need to change. Some days you seem so far away..but I know you are always listening. I love you.

Now here is all the things I currently have to do: (trying not to get overwhelmed): -Cut the grass, -do the laundry, -straighten up the house a little, -organize things for ladies night next Monday, -start doodling and organizing people for Christmas video, -make sure I have things set up for college and career and the teen Christmas party this month. -make sure all the forms are filled out for school, -pay rent, -pay phone bill. -buy peyton warmer clothes for winter -finish Christmas shopping, -pay both of my tickets. -hand art piece that has been in my head for weeks now, -suicide prevention stuff that has been in my head for weeks now, -and most importantly make a set schedule for things to find time to spend with the lord every single day. -overall in general make scheduled times to do things that I HAVE to do..and then the things that I need to do for me.like go to the gym, paint, write, spend time with peyton, family, and friends..ect...