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When I first started on this journey, which was when I officially graduated in May of 2015 from a small school in Misery. No that isn’t a typo but okay I meant Missouri. Bolivar, Missouri to be exact lol but most schools give a new graduate about 6 months to find a job and start paying them back. In a perfect world. That would have sufficed but the way life works...things dont go according to plan sometimes (most times). So fast forward to me moving back home from Missouri after 3 years. I remember coming home and working for my pops job. Btw thanks for the opportunity dad.. and then sitting in his office with aggressive head aches (migraines) and my body just going through it because of the stresses of trying to figure out how the hell I would pay off $22,231.76 making only $8 an hour. Btw never take out school loans unless you look at the job outlook post grad. I went through the end of 2015 trying to figure out everything about loans and how I could possibly get help. Big research! Of course I looked into student loan forgiveness programs. Figured out early that there were a lot of scams because as I would find out. It should be free. So I filled out the paperwork for FREE with my loan officers, Great Lakes. I was eventually approved at a rate of pay at $0.00. All I needed to send was my check stubs. It was based on my income at the moment so not making much worked to my favor. They would basically help pay my subsidized loans. That at least stopped some of the interest but hey it was better than nothing.. I recall a time when I went to my good friend Vic’s crib after work one day and just going through it and trying to figure out how to tackle this dilemma. He of course gave me words of encouragement but told me that I live at home so this debt wasn’t too bad so I should try to put as much money as I can into that debt and pay it off quick. He said I should just put the money into the loans with my eyes closed. Btw I’m the type that is a believer but man I was extremely hesitant at first but those words sparked something in my head. I had like a eureka moment. I had about maybe $5000 in my checking account. I could stand to lose a grand so that same day I payed $1200 into one of my loans. I had about 5 loans. 3 subsidized (government helps pay some) and the other 2 were unsubsidized (you’re basically on your own) Not going to lie that was one of the hardest things I might have ever done financially because I’ve never had much money due to school and playing sports in college but I blindly gave the loan sharks my money. Yes that is what I call them haha so that day 3/8/2016 I made the first payment. I would make a commitment to myself to try to pay $1000 a month into one of my loans starting with the Un subsidized ones since they were accruing interest the fastest. It was a long and very stressful situation but my mentality was since I put myself in this hole, I will dig myself out of it by any means. Of course I would end up getting numerous raises working for my pops company as my role increased, which helped tremendously. It took me about 1 year and 8 months to pay it off in full. It was a struggle and that bus ride was strenuous but I’m glad I got it done earlier than later. My last official payment was 11/22/2017. The last month in November I made 2 payments. About $2,500. Yeah I was ready to be free. That experience taught me a lot about myself and what I was willing to do to get rid of those chains called loans. I missed out on potential relationships, going out with friends, traveling often, buying designer clothes and materials, and just experiences I would have had if I wasn’t Mr Penny Hoarder. That experience was one I will never forget but I’m glad I had it. It truly humbled me and made me realize what’s really important. Family and close friends. They really kept me sane through that time and not to sound mushy. I’m extremely thankful for their lives. If anyone reading this has any questions just know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I will gladly help.

“Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy.” ― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Personally, I believe that, when you give a fuck about everything, you’re not going to be happy. I have met so many people in my life where the most minor things were the biggest deals. I’ve seen people throw an entire cup of coca-cola at a waitress because it wasn’t diet. I have been cursed out over an appointment time not being available. I have watched people break up because the other person gained five pounds. 

Why? 

It’s for the same reason you see somebody yelling because someone took their parking spot. They give a fuck about so much that, when something goes wrong, its a big deal to them. It’s exhausting to care about that much to the degree it takes to actually get angry. When everything matters, what matters most? 

I think that applies to possessions as well. I bought into the whole college degree, big house, new car, brand name...When I had the money for it, it felt great. I felt important; like I was somehow living the part like all my coworkers. This was a fantastic feeling for a girl who came from the trailer park. When the money started drying up, I had to stop and rethink what actually mattered to me.

What was worth spending money on?

Did my weekly manicure matter as much as my monthly designer bag? Did the designer bag matter as much as my fancy lunch breaks? Did my fancy lunches mean as much as having groceries in my house?