#dearest madison

January 15, 2020

My Dearest Madison,

Yesterday we took you to your very first day of TK! I haven’t written in awhile, but such monumental moments must be documented. Plus Daddy was asking all kinds of questions, if you told me about your day, so I figured I should write it down.

We got up early to get ready and make sure we were there early so we could find out where your class was and get everything situated. Your teacher, Mrs. Williams was there to open the gate and she had a folder with your name on it and said “This must be Madison.” There’s another Madison in your class as well. When your friend Angel saw you, she ran up and gave you a big hug and told other kids “her name is Madison too.” Mrs. Williams had already asked another student to show you where to hang up your backpack and then you ran off to play as she was explaining the folder to us. She said “well that was easy.” Since you didn’t cry or not want us to go or anything! I told her you knew Angel so that’s why. Daddy wouldn’t let us leave without saying goodbye, so we called you off the swing and gave you a hug and said our goodbyes.

I took pictures of you before we left and then a couple when we got there. Yes, I will be that embarrassing mom, but I will own it. Years from now, we will have these pictures to look back on and compare how much you have grown. TK is short, 10:05-1:45 so before I knew it, I was back ready to tackle pick up! That’s definitely something to get aggressive about. As soon as I saw a spot open up, I zoomed over so you wouldn’t have to be there waiting long.

We made a video after school, I want to do one of those interview type videos where I ask you about your first day over the years. You didn’t want to do it at first, but eventually you squirmed your way through it. You told me how you had to do a drawing of what you got for Christmas and you drew your LOL carrier and your LOL doll and one of them (Trouble maker). You said drawing was your favorite part. You were also eating your sandwich just before this and on your way home. You said you ate a little at school but I checked your lunch and you only had your orange and fruit snacks. So for today’s lunch I put no fruit snacks and a different juice box that is easier to open and showed you how to open it. I also let you know to ask a grown up if you need help.

Apparently one boy told you “There can’t be two Madisons in this class” but the teacher told him there could be. I told you how when I was in school there were three Jennifers in my class. “Jennifer H, Jennifer W and me, Jennifer V.” Then you excitedly said “I’m Madison W!” :) You said you didn’t want to go back to school tomorrow but I don’t think that’s because you didn’t like it, just because you aren’t use to going every day and you like to be home with momma. It’s only a few hours though so it’s not long days.

I’m starting nursing school tomorrow! So it’s a big time for both of us! I’m trying to finish up my reading so thankfully Daddy is off today and can help out!

I’m so proud of you my big and brave girl and can’t wait for your new adventure!

January 22, 2019

My Dearest Madison,

It’s been a long time since I’ve written and it’s crazy how much you have grown! You keep asking for a baby sister, and I’m not gonna lie, I want so badly to give you one. It’s been over two years that Mommy and Daddy have been wanting that for you. Just a baby in general, we can’t control the gender, but a baby sister is what you keep asking for.

The other day you told me “I’m bored by myself.” I told you I would play with you in a little bit, as Mommy was sleeping, as you wake me up early. :) You then told me “I didn’t ask for you to play with me.” I replied “then what?” and you said “A baby sister.”

Timing wise, I am hoping in the next three months I will be pregnant so I can have the baby before I start the nursing program. It’s not my timing though and I have to trust that it will happen when it’s meant to. I am sad for you though, because you are at the perfect age to play with someone and I don’t want you to get too old to play with a little sibling.

You also asked Daddy if Strobey was going to die. He had a very honest conversation with you. I guess we’ve always been pretty open with you, maybe Daddy was a little too honest. He told you he was going to die and you asked when and he said he didn’t know. It could be soon or it could be years from now. You asked if Daddy was going to die and he said yes, that everyone eventually dies. He said you started to get teary and asked “Is Mommy going to die.” and he said yes, but not for a long time. Then you said you didn’t want to be by yourself and asked “who’s going to dress me?” haha. Daddy said you would be older and know how to dress yourself. Although, you can already dress yourself and do, but sometimes you like help, not because you need it though!

Mommy is back in school. I started in the Fall and got As in all 3 of my classes. This semester is going to be even more challenging and all three classes count towards getting into the LVN to RN program so I have to do really well. I am hoping I can keep up with all of the studying and doing two labs! I have at least three quizzes a day and we have to submit 8 page reports worth only 5 points. It’s pretty intense! The hardest part is going to be the reading, as the chapters are very long and it’s hard to focus that long. The assignments I have been keeping on top of.

You started gymanstics almost a year ago and you just started in a new class last week. This one has way less parent involvement and you work with a teammate. So hopefully you start to get a little more comfortable. You don’t like flipping over the bar. You do enjoy the class though. There are some newer kids in this class, so it’s a little more challenging since they don’t know the routines, but I am confident you will grow and face your fears.

I love you!

Sunday, September 3, 2017

My Dearest Madison

I have been so bad at writing, but I think I just have to let it go and start fresh. I’ve been working so much and not having any time to write when I get home. I’m so tired all the time and then I get overwhelmed thinking about how much I need to catch up on. SO I just need to let it all go and move forward.

To recap what I haven’t been posting, things have been good! You had your first friend birthday party a few weeks ago with Jazmyn, a friend from daycare. I was really nervous to go, thinking there would be a bunch of other moms there and I would have to socialize with them all. but it ended up being really great. We were the first ones there so we got to hang out with Jazmyn and her mom Erica for a little bit. She got to see you girls interact and how much you get along. I didn’t want you to miss out on a fun party and I’m really glad I took you since you were really the only little girl there for most of the party. Plus Princess Belle came and I knew you would be excited about that! You even told me “I had fun at Jazmyn’s birthday.” So sweet!

Before leaving I told Erica if she wanted to get you girls together again to let me know. So anyway, today we had a play date for you! I literally cleaned the house for 5 days and we went and bought patio furniture last night! It was a family play date! I bought a giant pool slide with a lazy river for you and Daddy wasn’t too happy with me, haha but it’s fun!

Anyway, it went well I think. Thankfully they were more talkative than we are so it helped since I can be a little awkward until I really get to know people. You girls had fun too and when they left you said “Jazmyn had fun at my house today.” It was so funny, when we were waiting, you walked out the front door and shrugged your shoulders and said “They’re not here, they’re not here Momma. Come here Momma.”

You girls sure do love to play together, even if Jazmyn is a few months older. Hopefully you can be friends for a long time! :)

July 31, 2017

My Dearest Madison,

I can’t believe I turned 30 today!! 3 decades old! We didn’t have a real plan of how the day was going to go, but we got ready to head to the beach and Gammi met us there and Mike came too since our sunscreen got stolen (he brought some) and we needed to put some on you! You had fun playing in the sand but didn’t want much part of the water. We went for a walk too and you enjoyed playing in puddles and throwing rocks.

We went to Mike’s house after to change and then we went to get our nails done. You were kind of scared, so after I finished with my nails, they let me paint yours.

Then we went out for dinner. It was a bit of a wait, but eventually we got seated and you barely ate anything, but at least you did well. We got a huge thing of ice cream shaped like a cake too! It was a good day. I’m glad that we all got to spend the day together and do something fun. Gammi gave me a cake we got to take home, you'd been asking all day where my cake was! haha :)

So glad I got to spend my birthday with my family :)

I love you!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

My Dearest Madison,

Today was Mommy’s 30th birthday celebration! It was nice not to have a soccer game since our last game was last weekend. The limo was set to arrive at 4:30pm so Daddy had time to go to the gym this morning and get my balloons. You also were able to take a nice nap while I got ready for the fun night ahead!

You were scared of the limo when it came, but once you got inside you were ok. You seemed to have a lot of fun. It was very roomy as we got a free upgrade to a big hummer since there was a mechanical issue with the other limo! I won’t complain! When we got there we took some pictures inside the limo and then outside. Bitner was already there with her husband and I was so excited! I know she kept saying she was coming, but I was so excited she really did! Gammi, Nana and Auntie all pretty much got there around the same time and Brenda, Rebecca and Tina (my High School Spanish Teacher) weren’t far behind!

I took pictures with everyone and then once everyone had ordered I went around the table and made speeches about how thankful I was for each person who was there, for being in my life. You were too busy on youtube to pay attention, so I’ll tell you now what I want you to know. Thank you for being the most amazing daughter in the world. You continue to teach me every day and help me to become a better person. You have a smile and laugh that’s infectious and you’re going to do so much in your life, I can’t wait to watch your life unfold. I’m thankful for each day and moment I have with you and am so thankful and undeserving of all the love you give to me. I hope we’ll always be best friends and I’ll strive to be the mom you deserve. I love you! :)

It was a lovely evening and I got a cute top, new jacket and sees candy from Rebecca and Brenda. Bitner gave me some protective stones, a bracelet and some soap bars she made. You think they are chocolate! haha. I got some cards and and a starnucks gift card as well. I’m really thankful for everyone who could come and we still had a limo ride on the way home! Bitter came in the limo after dinner to check it out and we took a picture. :) We got home about 10:20 and then it was time for bed since I had to work in the morning! So thankful for a fun night out, I haven’t had one in a long time, especially where it’s been friends and family and to celebrate me! It was nice! :)

You also had a ton of fun making Auntie and her boyfriend chase you around everywhere. I love you pumpkin!

Sunday June 18-

My Dearest Madison,

Sunday- Happy Father’s Day!!! I ended up having to work this morning, but that just means you and Daddy got to spend some time together! I was thankful to have gotten a morning shift so that I could be home in the evening and we were able to go out to dinner for Father’s Day! :) You gave Daddy some back scratchers and he said “Mommy doesn’t like to scratch my back.” haha.

Daddy wanted to go look at cars so we spent a few hours at the car dealership. We were looking at some certified pre-owned cars and Daddy might come back tomorrow, but we had to get going so we could go to Wahoos. Dad’s get to eat free if their kid brings them in. :) You didn’t really eat, you ran around outside on the patio where we were eating. I was really thankful that we were able to spend time together as a family on Father’s day. :)

Monday - I worked again this morning behind Bitner’s post. I wish she ahd been there. :( After work Daddy and I went to get the new car! I forgot I had my chiro appointment so we stopped there before going to pick you up! You didn’t seem quite as excited about the new car. I didn’t get a shift for Tuesday, so it will be nice to not get up at 4:45am and to spend time with you! :)

Tuesday - We had fun this morning playing in the closet. You like to pull the door shut and I have to find you. lol We also went to the pool and park with Daddy! So another fun day for us! :) You wanted to go to the park first which worked out since they were doing their hourly 10 minute swim break to clean the pool. It took you a long time to not have one of us holding you before you would swim on your own with your floaties. You loved the water last year and were so fearless, I’m not sure why you’ve been scared lately. But eventually you were swimming by yourself!

Wednesday - I worked a 16 hour shift today so I didn’t get to see you. I did give you a kiss when I got home and had to go to bed because I was going back in the morning! I worked the Clinic today from 6am-2pm then did a suicide watch from 2pm-10pm. I decided that since I’m working the clinic again tomorrow I would work the standard 7am-3pm shift because I need that extra hour of sleep!

Thursday - After work, I picked you up at Daddy’s work and then we went to Target! You found a little grocery cart I decided we would get and you pushed it all around the store. We also got you new playdoh since the other stuff has gotten harder to play with. You decided to play in the nude back at the house. lol. Some good news at work is that I got out of Cerner training. Since I already know the system from the Women’s prison, they said I didn’t have to do the 40 hour training and can just do a 1 day refresher course.

You now make me take baths with you. For some reason whenever it’s bath time you don’t want to take one and start crying. But if I go in, then you want to, so now you just ask “Wanna take a bath me?” It’s so hard to tell you no! But I did get the funniest picture today. I love you honey!

Saturday, June 10- Tuesday, June 13, 2017

My Dearest Madison,

Saturday- Up at 6:45 getting ready for the softball game! I let you sleep until we had to leave and quickly got you ready. I dropped you and Stephanie off downtown and I made it right on time to the game. The call time there was to begin check in. There were people doing interviews but I decided I just wanted photos so I got good photos of the artists and celebs in the game! I also got really sunburned on my back!

I met up with you guys downtown and we had some time to walk around and get more iced coffee before doing our two M&Gs with Raelynn and Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town. You’ve been doing great waiting in line too, like I said, I’m really proud of you! I can’t say you’ve been the best at taking pictures haha but it could be worse. You don’t always look at the camera, but at least you don’t cry.

After that we waited around The Walk of Fame park to say hi to Clara! She wasn’t doing anything this year but did tell me some exciting news and will be coming to california in a few weeks, so hopefully we can see her again! We spent a little bit of time with her and her sisters and mom before heading back to the car and then going back to the hotel. It was kind of nice to have an evening of not getting in late and you were able to take a nice bath and we were able to relax. I am so glad I brought the playdoh cuz it’s been a life saver.

Sunday - I can’t believe how fast the week has gone by and it was the last day of CMA fest! We only had one for sure thing on our schedule, and that was to see Kelleigh Bannen at her Boot Barn performance. She did it last year too! We waited to be the last ones to say hi so we could have more time with her. It wasn’t a ton of time, but it’s always so good to see her and she said “I love you too” for the first time. :) She said she hopes I know that.

I really wanted to see Lindsay Ell since we didn’t get to see her any other time. She was having a meet and greet at 2pm. SO we headed to Music City Center and we got some ice cream and then waited in her line until it started. So happy we got to see her and that was our last thing of CMA Fest! We said goodbye to Stephanie and you fell asleep on the way back to the car. Then we headed to Lilly’s house and got some food on the way. You were able to nap which was great since it took like an hour and a half. We got ready and headed to the water park. For once, you didn’t really want to go in the water park but you did for a little bit before wanting to go to the regular park. It was so nice for you to have another playdate since you and Melanie are so close in age! After the parks we picked up some dinner and then went back to her house so we could watch the Stanley Cup and you guys got to play. We stayed after Melanie went to bed and then headed back to the hotel. It was just us that night since Stephanie had gone home. You were pretty tired though so you went right to bed.

Monday- I was looking forward to not doing anything in the morning and started getting ready for lunch with Caitlin. She has to reschedule til tonight because she had to clean her Air BNB. I was so worried it wasn’t going to work out and it wasn’t until 9:15pm that she wanted to meet and we had to be up at 3am to leave for the airport. I did some packing throughout the day and we went to McDonald’s for lunch and then went to walmart for a few things. We stopped by a park so you were able to play! It was 8pm and still light out and you kept wanting to go down the slides and play but we needed to finish packing! Thankfully we were able to meet up with Caitlin and Grant showed up too! I was thinking he might come earlier cuz she said she was going to bring a friend, but then when it got moved to late I didn’t think he would be able to!

It was great visiting with them and you weren’t shy at all! You were happy and interacting and taking pictures! You’re so adorable! Caitlin had to deal with a plumbing issue so I caught Grant up with all of my work drama. lol We went to a donut place which was perfect! Once we got back to the hotel, we called Daddy for a little bit and then you went to sleep while I finished packing. I got the car all loaded up and I wasn’t going to sleep, but I had some time so I took about an hour nap before we had to leave.

Tuesday- We were up so early and you were so great honey! Seriously, I am so proud of you. you were sooo excited about getting to see Daddy today that you just got up and didn’t cry and everything went smoothly. Sure it was a challenge getting on the plane with everything. I didn’t think we had a layover but we did. It was quick of course, but it’s just a pain getting the car seat, you and all our bags on the plane! You did really well on the plane and for getting up at 3am I cannot believe you didn’t sleep on the plane!! Thankfully I brought your playdoh along whicn has been a lifesaver!

We landed back in Cali a little after 9am and we had to wait for Daddy to get there. He finally did and we were able to go home! :) It was nice to have the rest of the day off before I go back to work tomorrow! It was a long night and I sure was tired! Daddy had to work today so it was just at girls at home. Thank you for a great week!

Tuesday, June 5 - Friday, June 9, 2017

My Dearest Madison,

Tuesday - It was nice to have a late afternoon flight because we got to sleep in still and not be rushed to the airport. We also got to enjoy a little time with Daddy before he took us to the airport. We had over an hour to wait before we boarded, and I brought your play-doh along so we played with that. We had a quick flight to Arizona before we boarding or next plane. There was some drama on our flight and we ended up getting $100 in vouchers for a future flight. I bought wifi so you could watch youtube but you didn’t want that much. I had your carseat on the flight so that was good! You played with your toys and play-doh on the flight and then this little girl in front of us started taking all your toys! It was nice of you to share! You were getting cranky towards the end of the flight because you were so tired. You finally fell asleep with about 25 minutes left. Once we got off the flight, which you can image was hard because I had to detach your car seat from the roller to get it on the flight, plus I had 3 bags and I had to carry you! We had to get our rental car and then we had three suitcases in baggage claim! Well 2, plus your stroller. We finally made it to the hotel after 1:15am and Stephanie was there to help us! She was with us last year and is credentialed this year through my website so she’ll be able to help a lot more.

You did so well and I’m so proud of you. It was brought getting everything at the end, but you are a trooper.

Wednesday- Thankfully we didn’t have to get up early today! You slept pretty late too, I was impressed! We didn’t have anything to do today. We were gonna see your Godmommy today, but it didn’t work out, but we’ll see her still tomorrow. We went to Wafflehouse for breakfast. You didn’t eat anything so we went to McDonald’s after. Then we went to Walmart to get some groceries and other things to eat for you for the week. I’m just gonna go ahead and put it out there, that you ended up not eating any of it, so money well spent.

We had to go get our credentials for the week and then we walked down 12th street to take some pictures of the “I Believe in Nashville” sign, visit the Draper James store that Reese Witherspoon owns and got some cupcakes from Sprinkles! We decided to pick up some Taco Bell on the way home and it took forever to get through the drive thru!! We watched the CMT Awards on TV while we ate and you played with playdoh. It was nice to have a relaxing day before we got ready for all of the festivities!

Thursday- Day 1 of CMA Fest! We started out by going to Thompson Square’s fan club party. It was so nice to get to spend some time with them. They came over to us right away to say hi. :) Their tour manager said he was going through withdrawals from me and he didn’t think that was possible! Haha. I used to see them like every 2-3 months and it’s been about 11, but a year since I actually got to talk to them! That’s the longest it’s ever been, kind of crazy!

You were shy at first, but warmed up. We were bowling and you used this ramp to bowl and were having fun. You wanted Shawna and Keifer to bowl with you. They did and it was cute!

We had one interview today at 2:15pm and then we had to take you to your Godmommy’s house. Her son, Andy was sleeping when we got there, but you were having fun playing with all his toys. We stayed for a little bit before Mommy and Stephanie had to go to a red carpet/concert event. It started at 5pm and we didn’t stay for much of the concert because it was so long! That’s how I know I’m getting old. Thompson Square was performing a few songs too, but didn’t go on until 10:30pm. We left about 8:18pm.

It was for the best anyway so Lesley, her mom and Andy didn’t have to stay up late. I know you guys had fun and I’m so happy for that! You guys had popsicles together, jumped on the bed and watched Trolls. Had a McDonald’s picknick and a wagon ride!

Friday- Our first scheduled activity wasn’t until 11:10am! So nice not to have to be up early. Of course you slept in later than us! Haha. I let you sleep while we got ready. First up was Lindsay Ell performing. I feel like I barely made it to performances last year and I wanted to make sure I got to see who I wanted to see. Brooke Eden was next and I took photos of her and then we went into the Music City Center since it was so hot. We walked around for awhile and then we got cold, and decided to walk around outside for a bit. We got some free iced coffee and you fell asleep so we found shade and let you take a nap. You slept about an hour so that was good! We had an interview with Olivia Lane and then watched her perform. You were dancing around with me! :)

After that we got some food and headed back to the car. We had to go to Ascend Amphitheater and we couldn’t take the stroller so I had to carry you. It was a long walk too! We were going to see Kelleigh Bannen perform with Natalie Stovall and Ruthie Collins. They were on second. During the first set you were running around all over. A film crew was there and one of the guys said I should get you in modeling. Lol. Too Bad you are but hate auditions. I took some photos during their set and then after we got to say hi! :) Kelleigh was so happy to see you! :) Natalie was like “wait, are you Jencita?” and she asked what your name was and Kelleigh was quick to answer “This is Madison.” haha you’re just so popular. :)

We made the long walk back to the car and headed back to the hotel. It was nice not to be back super late and tomorrow we have an early morning. Not looking forward to getting up early. It might be the only time I shoot the Celebrity softball game. It’s a big time commitment + waking up early! You have been doing really well this week. I’m really proud of you! I love you!