                     May 23, 2017
   Well, it’s been a year since mommy found out she was pregnant with her little superstar. I saw the two lines pop up and I couldn’t believe it... No, really, I couldn’t believe it. I took 8 tests (obviously all positive) before I really believed you were a real little bean growing inside of me.. See, before you there was another baby, one that I guess just wasn’t meant to be because I lost it. I never knew if they would be your brother or sister, or why it happened, but it made me want another baby (YOU!) even more.
   I was so terrified about what would happen. If I would have terrible morning sickness, if you would make my hormones go even crazier and make daddy hate me, hell, if daddy would even want to stick around because he didnt want to acknowledge I was pregnant for two weeks until we got the first ultrasound... We were both scared, so I tried to understand. What was even scarier to think about was after you arrived... How would we do it? Would we be good parents? Could we handle a newborn?Â
   I didn’t think I was capable of being a good parent... You see, Nana wasn’t always the best role model and I was afraid I’d be like she was when I was younger. I was afraid I’d rather go out and drink than spend time with you. I didn’t know how I’d handle the crying and screaming or the pooping.
But... We did it. We’re doing it. We’re making it. You are such an amazing little human. You make it so easy to be a mom.. YOUR mom. I promise I’ll always be there to feed you when youre hungry, help with homework, and go to any after school activities you invite me too. I’m going to be the best mom I can be. I think back now and can’t imagine ever being scared..Â
I love you, little one.
Mommy.
