[APRIL 24, 2020]
To J., the soft words you never heard after the fallout.
It’s been four days,
since you’ve spoken,
four days since a text;
and suddenly losing you
for good
is real.
four days of pretending I’m okay
and crying when I realize
I absolutely am not,
Four days of anger, rage, wrath,
Silence, thinking,
Heartbreak...
I miss you.
My best friend
Who couldn’t be a lover.
My best friend
who could never be
my significant other.
Life right now is so strange,
and without you by my side
I can’t recognize myself
anymore.
it’s confusing, it’s hurtful, it’s strange and
Without you
It will never be the same.
My dreams with you
were never meant to be,
but despite everything
I miss you,
Your stubble under my fingers and
the way you’d look at me
right before you’d learn in and
take my breath away,
but only for the day.




















