Of course, the Statute of Secrecy will always be a hindrance to muggleborns more than it is to anybody else. The muggles who are allowed to know are parents, siblings, and any other dependants or guardians living under the same roof as the wizard or witch. Grandparents and other family members not living in the house are not supposed to know, no matter how close they are. For this reason, many muggleborns feel as if they are living double lives.
One muggleborn, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells his story:
“When I found out that I was a wizard, I already had my place at a muggle secondary school. All my family lives in the area, and I had a lot of friends who were assuming I would be going to that school with them. The idea of going anywhere else wouldn’t have occurred to any of us, before I got my Hogwarts letter, but between all these dozens of people who knew what my plans were, only my parents could know why they were changing. There wasn’t a good enough excuse to give them, so even with all the lying I have done over the past years, they still don’t understand. My parents were left with most of the job of trying to explain where I had gone, which was hardly fair on them when they didn’t really know for certain where I had gone.
“Every summer, I came home, and had to lie about what I had been up to at school. It became hard to keep track of what I should have been doing if I had been at a muggle school, and I just have to thank heavens that my mother being a teacher gave me a bit of a better idea about this. Now, things are even more complicated. I have left Hogwarts, so I can see people more often, which mutes some of their questions and takes the pressure off my parents, but it creates a whole hoard of new lies and secrets. What am I doing for a living? How am I affording certain travel costs? These are all things made terribly difficult, simply because I do not want to lose all contact with my family.”
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The first thing Finn noticed when Dirk opened the door was how tired he looked. How much he had slept in the past week between the falling out with his best friend, stress over his interview, and the incredible speed at which his life moved these days was clear.
“You speaking to me again, then?”
His voice was grumpy, something Finn could pin down to fatigue, but he knew as well that his week long absence over something as silly as an unsent letter had hurt.
“I’m sorry.”
Dirk blinked and looked up at the ceiling for a long moment. Finally, he nodded and stepped back to let Finn into the house, his “me too,” barely audible as he fought against emotion.
“I’m joining the S.S.S.” Finn told him with a shrug. “And I want to start a similar group for muggleborns.”
Dirk frowned. “Muggleborns don’t need an S.S.S. equivalent, Finn. We get our Hogwarts education, we’re accepted into the wizarding world, school helps out with anything we might need.”
He should have expected this reaction, and he hadn’t planned for it. He did, however, brush off the comment with just a shake of the head. “Cera was kicked out of her home for being a witch. When I went with her for her brother, it was... It was crazy, Dirk. What if they’d had nowhere else to go? And then there’s you, not getting your job, and they shouldn’t have been allowed to ask you about your parents in the interview at all. That’s awful. Millie’s dad blamed her for her brother’s death just for being magic... There’s stuff to be done on both sides. Support for families of muggleborns, helping them to understand it all. Support for muggleborns themselves facing all the shit this war is throwing at them, and learning to fit in. Support for wizards and witches marrying muggles and the opposite. There’s a lot to think about.”
“And you’re going to do it?”
Finn smiled confidently. “Of course. Are you in?”
“I don’t...” Finn knew the answer just from the look on Dirk’s face. He had to admit that he was a little disappointed in Dirk’s lack of enthusiasm, and in the fact that he clearly didn’t think it would help anything, but he didn’t let that stir him. He had support elsewhere, and he had never particularly expected Dirk to play a large role in it. “I don’t have time, Finn.”
“Okay. Sure. I thought I better ask at least. How’d the interview go?”
Dirk shrugged, nervousness clear on his face. “We’ll see on Wednesday. You didn’t say if she said yes.”
The clear conversation changer made Finn raise an eyebrow. He suspected it had gone well and his own reminder of Dirk not getting it the first time had rattled Dirk. “Of course she said yes. I thought you figured that already.”
“I did. But you didn’t say. Tell me about it.”
And Finn grinned. It was becoming his favourite story to tell.
The comment felt a little ironic, considering that Dirk was twisted completely around on the bench, eyeing up a nearby crowd of people, only one bite taken out of the sandwich which he held, forgotten, in his hand. Finn raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
“Sorry, I thought I saw... I’m just on edge.”
“Why?”
“My cousin…” Dirk trailed off, giving his sandwich a sour frown.
Finn had never heard Dirk talking about his cousins often. He knew that they were all girls and that they were still primary school age, or perhaps by now a little older, he couldn’t remember exactly, but the point was they had never had much reason to talk about them.
When Dirk had pulled himself together, he continued talking. “My cousin came down to London on her own at the weekend to meet up with my uncle - her father. She hasn’t been seen since.”
“And you thought she might be wandering around with some Japanese tourists?” Finn asked, glancing back at the group Dirk had been scrutinising.
“It’s been four days, Finn. I’d rather hope that then think about what’s more realistic. She’s eleven.”
Long ago, Finn had learnt the signs of Dirk getting stressed out, but for once he wasn’t sure what to do to help calm him down. He was, however, highly aware that he had more time to kill around London than Dirk, and perhaps this was just what he had been looking for the past few days. He was confused over his extreme stress about how he could help end the war in earlier months, and now had finally accepted that it was not such his problem when he had loved ones to protect, and a father to spend last months with, but it didn’t change the tugging need within him to be doing something to help. This wasn’t about the war - it was most likely a muggle kidnapper - but it was still doing something for someone he loved. Dirk had been his best friend for seven years now and Finn would do anything to keep him from hurting.
“Tell me about her.”
“What?”
“Your cousin. I’m going to do whatever I can to find her. Tell me about her.”
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Finn twirled the 9 and a half inch length of red oak between his fingers, weighing it up and letting the smooth curves of the handle find their way to fit to the palm of his left hand. It was a darker wand than he had ever had in the past, with redder tones than either his ash or aspen ones and a deeper brown than the dogwood now lying forgotten on his bedside table. The craftsmanship seemed more mature and more suiting to him as a nearly-eighteen-year-old with sophisticated contours and intricate design. Never had Finn felt so satisfied so quickly holding a new wand, even with his second which turned out to be that much easier to yield than his first. It looked like an elegant wand: one that would bring him into the Order as someone worth being there.
"Lumos."
It had always been the first spell he tried out with any of his wands, being the first he'd ever used successfully with his first ever wand. He was shocked how quickly the light started shining, and even more so when he had barely thought the word Nox before it extinguished once more.
In excitement, he sat further forwards, his new wand directed at a sock on the floor. Without uttering the incantation, he concentrated on one of the concealment charms Professor Flitwick had taught him just that year. He channelled every advice anyone had ever given him about non-verbal magic, and though it took a lot of concentration and a long time until he finally reached the right state and the sock faded into near invisibility. How much weaker the non-verbal spell was than a regular verbal was obvious straight away, but he knew that was normal. It had been drilled into them from the moment they started learning non-verbals. Biggest pro: element of surprise. The cons: less power, less effective, more concentration required. He didn't know how much practice would make that easier, but never had it been implied in school that it would ever reach the same standard as verbal spells. With a bit of a frown he briefly considered why he had even bothered, but after so much effort, and so much money out of his pocket to get to this point, he couldn't give up now. Already it seemed easier to remove the concealment charm from his sock than it had been to put it on.
"Hey, are you..." There was only one knock before Dirk walked into Finn's room anyway, but he trailed off when he saw the wand in Finn's hand, his eyes darting in confusion between it and the one on the table nearby. "Whose is that?"
"It's mine. I got a new one. This one was... I just needed a new one."
"I didn't realise there was nowt wrong with the old one."
"It's not that there was really anything wrong with it."
"Finn... Can you really... afford to jus' go buyin' new wands? I don't really see what you need a better one for roit now. That one got you through NEWTs."
"Sure I can. It's fine. Just brilliant. Don't worry about it."
"So you've paid next week's rent okay?"
There was a long pause. Finn frowned as he tried to count back the days of the week. How long since the last time he had paid rent? It couldn't be a whole week already, could it? But sure enough today was Friday and the last time he remembered paying it was just before going to Wren's apothecary, before both their dates at the weekend. And today he had emptied his wallet, boycotting food in the hope that between the Boardmans' party and his parents he might make it through the next week.
"Finn."
"I forgot. Just... It won't matter, will it? I can pay double next week and..."
"Don't... You won't get that out your pay, you know you won't. Just this one, 'kay? I'll pay this one. But you've gotta start bein' sensible about this. Don't buy any more wands you don't need."
With a glum nod and a wince as he thought of the lie he was telling in his silence against Dirk's assumption that it had been an unnecessary purchase, Finn gave in to the offer, a weight lifting off his chest with it.
"Are you goin' to this party tonight?" Dirk finally asked, though the concerned frown on his face still hadn't disappeared.
Finn didn’t have much time to pause following his Herbology exam. He left the Great Hall to see that his soon-to-be flatmates - two of the only students who took History of Magic and not Herbology - were already there waiting for his second and their first exam of the day. People with surnames later than him in the alphabet passed him as he paused, turning his head back and searching for Libby. He smiled absently at both Gladys and Mina as they left the hall, then was moving forwards, back in the direction he had just come, to wrap an arm around his girlfriend as she came out of the exam.
“How did you find it?” he asked, his lips gently brushing over her forehead mid-sentence.
“I’m sorry,” he said, lips cutting her off by covering her lips shortly. “I’m really sorry, I’ve got to…” his eyes flickered to Dirk and then to his watch, counting down the minutes until 10 o’clock when they would have to sit down to their History exam. “I’ll see you after the exam. At lunch. I…” He swallowed, blinking hard and only just stopping himself from saying words he wasn’t ready to say; he couldn’t be ready to say; certainly here in such a blasé manner. “I’ll see you later.” He kissed her again, now catching the corner of her mouth, and then moved away, to focus on Dirk.
“Mate. Dirk, mate, are you okay?”
Though the other boy nodded, Finn was unconvinced. Already his arm was supporting Dirk’s back and he dragged him to his feet then headed in the direction of the closest toilets.
“It’s just an exam. It’s just three exams, but they’re still all just exams. You’re a bloody genius, you got Os in all your NEWT subjects at OWL, you’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about. Stop stressing.”
His mind went back two years, to Wren suggesting calming draughts should have been handed out at breakfast to stop everyone from exploding from the stress of OWLs. It had been the same then, that he had been so calm compared to everyone else that a part of his mind had occasionally wondered if he didn’t care enough. He had passed everything, though, and that he thought was the important thing even if it wasn’t well enough to do all the subjects he might have done at NEWT level. For now, he didn’t really need qualifications. Not for working in a shop, and clearly not if he was going into the Order, as Dumbledore hadn’t even left him with a reminder to work hard for his exams when he had spoken to him last. Not failing would be good, but he felt guaranteed a decent mark in Defence and Charms and beyond that he hardly cared.
He started the tap running with the view to splashing Dirk’s face with water and hoping that did enough to snap him out of the nerve-ridden state. When he turned, however, Dirk had gone from the place he had been stood seconds before and a retching sound barfed from a nearby cubicle. Lines appeared at the bridge of Finn’s nose, his memories from two years previous now spinning back even further to the year before, and the same situation during fourth year exams, though then the stress had been intensified by severe drug use. Another glance at his watch told him they had just ten minutes. Fuck. Even running wouldn’t get him to the Hospital Wing and back on time.
Switching spells had at least been a part of Transfiguration he hadn’t struggled with much, even if he had barely used them in the two years since dropping the subject. He grabbed a finished loo roll and turned it into a cup, then filled it with water from his wand. When Dirk’s head came up and away from the toilet, Finn shoved the drink into his hand, flushed the smelly bile away, and then used a spare bit of paper to start wiping around Dirk’s mouth, even though he wriggled away with complaints that he wasn’t a child.
“Hold still, worry guts,” Finn demanded, but he was done trying to wipe up vomit. Instead his wand was back in his hand and pointed at Dirk. Thanking Professor Flitwick for his revision over Cheering Charms a couple of months ago, Finn uttered the incantation with confidence that he wouldn’t overdo it and leave Dirk too giddy to complete the exam. “Better?” he asked, though Dirk was still sipping on water a little sheepishly. Already, he was looking more relaxed, the colour returning to his cheeks now that he had thrown up all his nerves. At the first hint of a smile and nod, Finn was pulling Dirk back up again, with no time to lose to get him properly cleaned up and back to the exam room.
