#deap

His hand raises on its own, swinging in a wide arch.

Smack.

It doesn't even feel like it's him doing it, more like he's just an observer peering at the world through the eyes of whoever it is that just created a crimson, palm-shaped mark on Apos' pale cheek.

Apos moves his jaw, making sure it's all right - Esper hasn't been a bodyguard for nothing, even with a body that hides his strength. He looks guilty and doesn't move from the spot even as Esper takes progressively longer and longer to sort through the turmoil of his thoughts.

"Your sense of humor has changed, I see," he mutters darkly, feeling the way his brows knit almost painfully. "Let me clarify, it wasn't funny."

He suddenly feels like retching again, purging the last remains of the alcohol from his body along with Apos' taste that lingers on the edge of his tongue, taunting him. Something smoky with a touch of mint.

Infi hadn't moved during this whole exchange, but now he does, stepping closer to Esper with his arms folded. "It wasn't a joke, that's why," he says, shifting. His arms are as much a barrier as any. "Listen, I know my return fucked up your little thing, but that's why we talked with Apos about it. Y'know, the thing you refused to do and instead got high and drunk?"

"What I do with my body is none of your concern," Esper bites back, all he can force out.

Infi pierces him with a look simultaneously burning and chilling to the bone. Esper refuses to budge, though he does cross his arms in return, doubling the makeshift barrier. "It's my concern when it makes stuff worse."

"It makes nothing worse."

The redhead sighs, shoulders lowering a little. "Apos cried, y'know."

This seems to startle Esper, his eyes shooting to the mentioned man's face for a split second only to find it perfectly dry, if a little contorted. "I don't follow," he breathes.

"When you left. He wouldn't stop, no matter what I did. Just kept crying 'Esper, Esper!' until he passed out from exhaustion." Infi starts twirling a long lock of hair around his index finger as if to find something for his twitchy fingers to do. When he notices Esper's still-very-much-confused look, his lips press into a hard line. "Let me make this clearer."

Finally, Esper thinks.

"Sia likes you. Whether or not you believe it, he does. He also still likes me." Apos is trying his hardest to look like he's not even there. "And you like him, don't you. Otherwise you wouldn't be so jealous-"

"Watch your mouth!"

"-of me." Infi offers a lazy grin, swaying on the balls of his heels. "Now, now. We've come to an agreeable... Let's say a deal, while you were busy drinking yourself up."

"That's it, I don't have to listen to this… kid… spewing shit about me," Esper declares, obviously fed up with Infi's thinly veiled jabs at him.

"Esper," Apos speaks up, first time in the while, and now Infi falls silent. Well, he does when Apos' eyes bore into him, berating him without a single word. "Hear us out. Me out."

Esper takes a deep breath, gazing wistfully at the road before sighing and holding his arms tighter. "Alright, I'm all ears. What is this deal bullshit the pipsqueak blabbered about?"

"Pipsqueak?!" Infi cries out, offended. Well, not even the heels of his shoes give him nearly enough to match either Esper or Apos' height.

"I don't want to lose you, Esper," Apos says, ignoring Infi's remark for the moment. "I... I care about you. Not like a subordinate, but as a friend... Partner. I care the same about Infi, but he'd been gone and now he's back and it's pretty confusing but I know I want you around if that's what you also want!"

Esper is quiet for a moment and then he's still quiet, barely audible, as he says, "It's never been fun being Elsword Perfect Sieghart's shadow, you know? Whenever you talked about him I just wanted to kill him as well, because you'd never stop, you never let me forget there was someone better than me."

"I should have noticed," Apos admits, hanging his head in a mixture of shame and apology.

"I wanted to be special to you," Esper admits, the most painful thing he'd said all day.

"You are special to me."

Esper shakes his head at that, making Apos take back the cautionary step he'd taken towards him. "Not like Infi."

"So that's what you think," Apos utters and his lips quirk up at the corners. "You're right. You're special to me not like Infi, but like you. And I want you to stay, I… need you to stay, it hurts to imagine life without you."

He'd obviously struck a chord with Esper, because he shifts nervously, running fingers through his messy hair. "You survived without Infi. You… became greater. You'll have him back, so you don't really need a failed experiment anym-"

"You're not like Infi, don't you understand?" Apos cuts him off. He would not hear another self-deprecating word from Esper's lips. "You're Esper Grenore, and there's nothing failed about you."

Esper chuckles; it's not wholehearted, but it's a step in the right direction. "The test results would beg to differ."

"What do I care about some decade old tests?"

Esper's lips curl up further. Apos can see the exhaustion clear in his eyes and the bags under them. The man looks like he needs a good night's sleep. And some breakfast, preferably.

"Can I make an offer?" Apos asks, taking a small step towards Esper. Esper doesn't back away, this time, just peers curiously at him. "You don't have to be a bodyguard to Infi. We talked, and Infi agreed to… Well, share the head spot. He'd been gone so long he doesn't know current operations and whatnot. So I wouldn't be his bodyguard, and you could stay mine."

There's a glimmer in Esper's eyes as he glances sideways at Infi, though whether it's an excited grimmer or an enraged one for Infi to try and steal Apos' hard earned spot is beyond either of them. "What about him, though?"

Infi laughs and speaks up again, finally. Honestly, it felt like they'd been passing a baton. "I don't need a guard for the time being. No one even knows I'm back yet, and when the rumors spread, it'll be much more effective to show I can protect myself, don't you think?"

Esper doesn't offer an answer, instead turning back to Apos. "So he'll always be around," he states more than asks.

Apos' eyes soften and he smiles rather lopsidedly. "Give him a chance. I'm sorry I did… all that I did in the past, but no matter how much I hyped him up, he's still a human like us."

"And I don't have to protect him?"

"No." Though Apos doesn't have a single doubt Esper would jump in were something to actually happen.

"Only you? Like before?"

"Only me. Just like before."

"And…" Esper falters. He's almost there, they almost have him! Apos' heart is pounding so hard it's a real feat to keep himself composed. "What was that about the... kiss?"

"Ah." Apos flushes, looking away. "Well… Uh… I love you?"

Esper quirks a brow, hiding his inner turmoil with a scoff. "Love me enough to botch my name during sex, huh?"

Apos cringes. "I'm… sorry for that. Truth is, I also love Infi. But that's… no reason to hurt you in such a way. If you'd give me permission, I would use the right name next time."

"Would you now?" Esper muses, mulling it over. "Are you saying you want to fuck me while you're, what, fucking Infi as well?"

"Date," Apos corrects. "I want to date you."

"Us both? Do I have to date Infi?"

Infi can feel the weight of Esper's stare burning through him. "Nah," he says, instantly feeling it burning a little less. "Just Apos."

"I can… live with that," Esper nods, more to himself than anything. Apos knows he'll warm up to Infi, sooner or later. Well, knowing Esper, it'll be later more than sooner. "I… don't know how this works."

"We can figure it out. For now, how does lunch sound like?"

Esper has to admit, at least to himself, that he is starving. Having heaved up what little he'd ingested the night prior left him woozy and with a grumbling stomach, so he didn't have many protests.

"McDonald's?" he asks hopefully, just the thought of a chocolate McSundae making his mouth water.

"Anything you want," Apos nods.

Esper casts a glance at Infi, who had stuck his hands into the pockets of his jacket, looking odd with the bruise on his face and dust on his dress shirt. His tie is askew. But the boy - how old even is he? How is he the head of a mafia? - looks completely relaxed now, when grinning lazily.

"One order of chicken nuggets and chocolate ice cream?" Infi asks, already looking like he knows the answer. Esper glances at Apos, and even if Apos' expression doesn't betray anything, he knows he's the one who told Infi what he likes. Something tugs at his heart.

"Double order of chicken burger and vanilla ice cream?" Esper replies, hesitantly.

They turn to look at Apos and this time their voices are almost synced. "One order of cheeseburger with bacon, no ice cream and apple cake."

"Ice cream isn't even a part of a menu why do you say no ice cream?" Apos sighs, rolling his eyes goodheartedly.

"It so is," Infi huffs, "What's an order without ice cream?"

"A meal."

"You're missing out, Apos."