âIts not strong enoughâ
Today has been a tiring day for me, I just feel deflated and upset at myself and my project just isn't steering in the right direction and I am no closer to the outcome. This idea has always been a challenge and I am constantly looking for inspiration or anything new and innovative. Todays meeting was hard and I found myself getting bit emotional because I feel I am putting in a tremendous amount of work but my ideas still arenât fully interlinking and coming together.  I still don't have a clear structure or devised chapter names. My shoot from the other I was so happy and content with however Ruxandra my mentor didânt think it held a clear message. I just felt disheartened I have been working on these ideas for week and didânt think I would breakdown as much as I did today. However, looking back I feel it has taught me to constantly push and strive to achieve the best possible outcomes, this can only be achieved through positivity. Additionally, it was not the criticism I wanted to hear which I found hard especially after dedicating time and energy into preparation and shooting but I tried to stay positive during the meeting, to try and talk about the learning process confidently. In hind sight I should of not got upset but it is hard when receiving comments you don't want to hear about your own personal work. One skill I have gained is the idea of using initiation, this skill has helped me tremendously as after leaving the meeting Ruxandra then emailed to suggest changing my initial idea and devising a campaign which I like the idea. However I am deeply unsure as I am half way through the process and devising concepts for shoots. Using my initiation I think it is best to keep shooting  and think more out of the box for the next few shoots and keep focused.
