#deaf rant

“Where are they going?” “Nowhewre” (friends house)

“Whats going on?” “Nothing” (while they were talking about something freakinf important)

“Whats the plan” “Nothing atm” (dosen’t tell me the plan and tells me about it last second.)

(While they’re laughing or talking seriously) “Whats happening?” No answer “Whats happening??” “Nothing/not right now.”

I dont f**ing care how many times you have to repeat information to me, it couldn’t possibly add up to the times I’ve heard someone tell me “never mind” or “nothing” or “it’s not your buissness.”

So. For my theater class I have to go see a production of Christmas Carol. It’s for a grade, so I absolutely have to go. So I hit the box office and grab my tickets and I let them know I need seats that will allow me to have an interpreter and be able to see them. The lady at the box office 1) Can’t believe I’m deaf, 2) apparently doesn’t know what interpreting is, and 3) doesn’t know what to do. 

We exchange contact info so her manager can contact me, and then I set everything up with the DRC on campus. They say, “Okay, we got interpreters, and we’ll figure it out with the box office and stage managers there.” 

This morning, I get a text from the box office people saying: “We sat your interpreters in the front row, A 1 and 2. You and your mom are seated in K 11-12.”..... That’s 11 rows away in a dark theater. How, please do tell me, do you think I’m going to have access to my interpreters when they are 11 rows away, all the way at the bottom of the theater (it’s kinda like an auditorium type of deal -- I graduated in this theater and I KNOW there is no way I would be able to see them from that far). 

It's just frustrating as fuck.

It makes me angry.

It makes me angry that my parents never bother learning ASL, it makes me angry that they don't give a shit enough to even TRY and communicate--simple things like facing me, talking to me from inside the same room, and repeating things (or repeating things when other people have said them and I'm clearly not getting it) are things that TOTALLY evade them.... yet friends, people I've met 6 goddamn months ago, do this with seemingly no problem. Seriously, the friends I've made at school are wonderful. One of them, last semester, stopped me and said "I'm going to ask you/say something right now, and I'm not trying to be an asshole so please tell me if I am, but sometimes I feel like I say stuff to you, and you don't hear me, but you just kind of say "yes" or nod along. But I want you to be able to understand me, and I want it to be a conversation, and I don't want you feeling left out. So, if you want, give me a code-word you can say that basically means "I need you to repeat this and face me," and we'll do that."

And we DID it. I was sitting there having a conversation with her and another person, and she had her back to me and said something, the other person responded and then kinda looked at me, waiting, so I said the word and she turned around and repeated herself.

Simple.

Basic. 

THAT is the hard part about being home. YES, I'm not "out" to my parents. YES that's awkward as hell. YES, I have way fewer queer friends/generally queer people I can talk to about life.

But really? I miss communication. I miss communication that ISN'T impossible. I miss communication that is accessible, ALL THE TIME. My roommates for next year? We're gonna have a sign on the wall, that just says "repeat." If I need something repeated, I point to the sign. No need to say "What? What?? What?" Just-- a sign. Easy. They're all great about it.

http://www.thebuffandblue.net/?p=12984

Interesting article, to which I pretty much relate. Here's a snippet that spoke a lot of truth for me.