#deadpool adjacent

David: Man, fuck humans!

1. Calvin Rory hitching a ride on David.

2. Rory discovering he can shapeshift, trying very hard to get his face his old body back but hasn't quite got the hang of it yet. (David doesn't mind).

Picrews used:

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/71089

(⚠️ Spoilers beware!⚠️)

There is one imposter Among Us...

Rory Adams is Wade Wilson/Deadpool using an alias. He was hired in his capacity as assassin to serve as a final "firewall." None of the others, not even Miranda knows. He was placed there either in case Calvin escaped or there were shenanigans with the human crew, or even more darker to take everyone out first in case Calvin turned out to be a Walking Dead style infection.. but he got taken out first instead (he's Deadpool he'll be fine.)

Alternatively Rory could be Wade Wilson's long lost identical twin and adopted into The Adams family.

When David Jordan was growing up he had an imaginary friend, a rabbit named Frankie.

Calvin could be an evolutionary off-shoot of klyntar symbiotes failing to find a host (until the very end).

David: Life hack: you don't need to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon.

(source: tumblr)

*

Rory: You've got to learn to love yourself.

David: But don't you hate yourself?

Rory: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

(source: perchance generator)

*

[at a restaurant]

David: I'm gonna park the car. Can you get a table for us?

Rory: Sure.

[a few minutes later]

Rory: [*runs out of the restaurant carrying a table*]

Rory: START THE CAR!

(source: twitter)

*

Sho: Did you get high and watch samurai movies again?

Rory [crying]: Yes.

Sho: Did he die because he was burdened by the very code he lives for again?

Rory [breaking into a sob]: Yes.

(source: twitter)

*

Deadpool!Rory: I'm into polyarmory.

David: You mean polyamory, right?

Deadpool!Rory: No, [*pulls out multiple swords*] but that's good too.

(source: tumblr)

*

David: You're my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Miranda: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

David: Absolutely not.

(source: tumblr)

*

Hugh: Are you sure this is a good decision?

Rory, [offended]: What are you talking about? I've never made a good decision in my life and I never will.

(source: tumblr)

*

Calvin!Rory: Don't be part of the problem. Commit. Be the entire problem.

(source: tumblr)

*

David: I think you have me confused with Rory. When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Kat: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

(source: tumblr)

*

David: Bad things keep happening to me. Like I have bad luck or something.

Miranda: David, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

(source: tumblr)

*

[post canon au]

Calvin: Hey, I get it. You're stressed out. A few people died...

David: Thousands of people died.

Calvin: C'mon I know you don't care about those. The crew is all you cared abou--[sighs] Anyways, that's not the point. Look... they're dead now. And really, who's fault is that?

David: Yours.

Calvin: That's right--no one's.

(source: tumblr)

*

Calvin!Rory: Y'all only hate me because I've tried to kill you multiple times and will continue to do so. Get over yourselves.

(source: tumblr)

*

[dark/villain au]

Villain!David [finally pushed to breaking point]: I want to watch the world burn.

Calvin!Rory: And I'll happily help you burn it. ;)

(source: tumblr)

*

Calvin!Rory: You're probably wondering what we're doing tonight.

David [tired]: Not really, I just sort of go along with your bullshit now.

(source: tumblr)

*

Calvin!Rory: And here we have David, my husband.

Other Eldritch Horror: ...You mean host, right? Thrall? Servitor?

Calvin!Rory: Pretty sure I know what I fucking said.

(source: tumblr)

*

Exorcist: I'm here to remove the demon that possessed you.

Rory: I didn't call you.

Calvin: I did.