#deadchannelradio

Authour: @deadchannelradio

Subfandom: Batman

Media: Comics

Relationships: Gen (Jason Todd-centric, Ensemble)

Year: 2023

Summary:

A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle: The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate. - (01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin- Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood- Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious. Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route- Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up. Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

Submitted by @kiragecko

Authour: @deadchannelradio

Subfandom: Batfamily

Media: Comics

Relationships: Gen (Jason Todd-centric)

Year: 2024

Summary:

“It’s fine, Jason,” Dick says. “Chill out. I’m a grown adult, it’s not like Slade’s bothering a teenager anymore. It’s enrichment for me. I get a little shot of adrenaline and a bug treasure hunt. Sometimes he even makes me coffee.” “And you drink it?” “Well, yeah. It’s my fucking coffee, I’m not going to waste it.” “I’m going to kill him,” Jason decides aloud. “Next time I see that man, I’m gonna kill him.” “No, Jason, do not,” Dick says in the same tone Jason uses to tell his dog not to chew on his boots.

Submitted by anon

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

answered here!! <3

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

UHHH LETS SEE. heres the folder at present:

so thats... 15? 15. oops jkdfhkjdhs

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

answered here!!!

obsessed w "civ hostage" kon. obsessed.

THANK you for giving me the opportunity to talk abt this one bc it is, if i do say so myself, funny as hell. like, i talk a bit hurt/comfort character study etc game, but i am also just a guy who deeply, DEEPLY enjoys some good old fashioned shenanigans.

SO. to set the stage: we have conner kent, good ol sweet country boy conner kent, spending a weekend in the big city to visit his buddy tim. things are going well, for the most part, until tim and conner make the mistake of going to hang out at a nice café. why?

the cafe is SO nice that it is, in fact, right next to a bank!

they are in gotham city (uh oh!).

the bank gets robbed.

sirens start blaring, the gcpd are there, the robbers burst out of the front door frantic to get to their getaway car, and oh, hell, the gcpd is right there, they need some kind of leverage to not get their tires shot out from under them--

they need a hostage!

there's a cafe patio full of civilians right there!

this guy who's jumped to his feet as if to get between all the guns and his buddy? oh sure yeah he'll do cmon grab him get him in the car lets go lets GO MOVE IT MOVE IT

FLOOR IT LETS GO KEEP A GUN TO HIS HEAD MAKE SURE THE COPS SEE WE HAVE HIM LETS GO

[!] Congratulations! Your Conner Kent is now a Civilian Hostage™! In order to protect his secret identity, he may not use any of his powers to escape. Make sure he doesn't run his mouth too much, or else getting shot will reveal that he's bulletproof!

tim, left at the cafe: what the fuck. kon, sitting in the getaway car: what the fuck. the bank robbers, who have no idea what they've just brought upon themselves: phew! that was quick thinking!

what follows is a progression of increasingly more ludicrous conversations as kon desperately tries to control his inability to shut the fuck up. the bank robbers start to argue.

"boss, he's just a teenager!" one argues. "he isn't even from here--look how much he's talking about his grandma. i feel bad. we don't have to keep the guns on him at all times, do we?"

"if he doesn't shut up about his grandma, shoot him in the foot," boss grouches.

"oh, please, don't do that, sir," kon wheedles, valiantly resisting the urge to ttk the duct tape off his arms so he can gesture rudely at the big boss. he does his very best big, innocent doe eyes instead. "my grandpa bought me these boots, and he passed a couple years back!"

"oh, now look what you did!" a third guy exclaims. "he's gonna talk about BOTH grandparents now!"

kon looks back and forth between the bank robbers. two out of three are glaring; the first one, the sympathetic one, tries to smile at him.

kon looks at them all some more.

tim is somewhere up in the rafters of this random gotham wharf warehouse by now, he's sure. this will all be over soon. he doesn't have to keep resisting the giggles too much longer. right?

"could i convince you guys to let me go?" he blinks so sweetly. so innocently. "shucks, i can sweeten the deal! how's this?"

he flutters his eyelashes a little. smiles so innocently.

"i'll give you my grandma's apple pie recipe--"

this is the worst day of these bank robbers' lives.

tim, in the rafters: forget the robbers. I'M gonna strangle him.

anyway, red robin swoops in to rescue Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent. of course, he can't stay long, but he makes quick work of the hostage situation.

Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent is more than happy to give a quick statement to the press outside, of course. he looks directly into the camera and gushes about how amazing it was to have red robin himself rescue him! he's so suave and mysterious and cool, and his hair smells so nice--

tim, who is the only one who knows that kon is just very smugly patting himself on the back for finally convincing him to try his fancy shampoo and conditioner set: :|

trending on gotham twitter: Red Robin Smells Like Rosewater

tim is going to kill Sweet Innocent Country Boy Conner Kent. he's gonna do it.

"i'll fucking leave you there next time," he tells kon, who is scrolling through all the tweets with glee. "see if i come rescue you ever again. i'll let the assholes with guns keep you."

"sure you will, rob," kon agrees oh-so-sweetly. tim is going to throw things at him. kon is so smug. god dammit.