#ddjily

Remembering She was drunk, everything was a blur… she smiled remembering the shocked faces of…well just about everyone in Gryffindor as she beat Peter to the last shot of fire whisky. She remembers his gaze on her, she forced her eyes to not look at him. He had no right to judge her….he always said she should “chill out”. Well this was her” Chillling out” big time and he could just sod off and go play with his stupid new fan club. When she won she let herself peek in his direction…he was gone…she hated herself for hating that he wasn’t there.  She remembers dancing after that….not quite sure who with, but she remembers it being fun and remembers most of all not thinking of him. Urggh she kicks out with her foot, chiding herself for remembering not remembering him.  She slumps down on the staircase, slightly curling herself into the wall and closing her eyes….just for a minute. She’ll head back in she thinks, there is more fun to be had, she remembers it distracts her from remembering. Letting her mind mull over the past week, she does remember thinking and wishing things were different. She remembers wanting to say yes instead of no. But the questions had stopped and she remembers she was too proud to ask. So she was here, drunk and alone, just a few more minutes then she will go back she thinks. She just wants to remember a little more…then she might know how to fix it. She remembers waking up to the ceiling, it was moving, or was she moving. She remembers his face, his grimace as her eyes opened and he noticed. She remembers wanting to speak, but not know what to say.  She laid her head against him curling into him…. more comfy than the wall. She remembers him sighing and his grip around her tightening as her eyes close again. She’s warm, warm in a really really good way. She remembers this from before, she thinks she dreaming. She sighs contentedly wanting it to last that bit longer before she has to remember she fucked it up. She snuggles into the warmth, surprised by how real it is, how sadistic her mind has become to make her think he is really there. She can feel a warm calloused hand on her hip, she lets a moan escape her lips as it grazes over her skin. She remembers him doing this before, she wants to stop the memory it hurts she knows where It leads and that just more torture. Opening her eyes, she is surprised by her surroundings….even more surprised by the hand she can still feel travelling across her lower stomach. “j james” she whimpers out not truly believing where she is. He pulls her back against him, nuzzling his face into her neck “mmm” he mumbles dragging his lips along her shoulder “I thought I was dreaming” She feels him chuckle against her. It makes her smile “you are my love” he whispers She sits straight up in her own bed, sweat covering her body, her head pounding like a bullet rattling around in a metal ball. Lily hates remembering. Alcohol numbs this…she looks at her dresser a blue bottle sits on top of a torn piece of parchment. Downing the hangover potion in one she picks up the parchment, focusing her eyes on the familiar scrawl Hope this helps…I’d like to talk when your ready. -J He heart is beating furiously, she likes this feeling, one of hope. She wants to remember this one. Reviews welcome…i am also lookng for a Beta for other stories and drabbles