#ddiwerth

oooh this is difficult. i dont really listen to many bands so ya

I know I shouldn't be here but I need my fix of Merthur.

I spent this day reading. Started to read two hours of the fic yesterday and 7, yes, seven hours today!

The Shadows I Live with are Numberless by Ddiwerth

It is of the same level as Beyond the Vale by Beyondthestorm (♥♥,). I thought I would never come across one of that kind since you all know I'm very demanding but I did, and now I feel empty but as the same time complete :)

Writing skills are important to me. The way words are intertwined with each others and the way meaning is conveyed is essential to me. And I'm also grateful that my Kindle has an implemented dictionary because it had a lot of unknown words and thus I've learned a lot!

*spoilers*

Though I was wary of a Merlin cutting himself (I don't quite understand those who do that), I feel empathy towards him and understand how the whirl of his thoughts (your mind is your worst enemy) led him to shut himself from his friends and in the end attempt suicide. Hence the warning. 

Everything was perfect until the moment he went -escaped- to have some fresh air- only to know later he had taken a poison with him to attempt a second time at his life. Here, I started reacting with wtf's while reading. The dialog with the dragon were quite emotive from Merlin's point of view. And then next chapter, it was from Arthur's who eventually managed to follow him and witnessed the magic reveal. I was then still wtfing. I couldn't understand how it turned like this. I didn't like being able to read Arthur's thoughts to be honest. Oh and just at the end of the chapter I thought Arthur killed Merlin with his sword in his head and I fell asleep with this in mind. WTF 

But today... HOLY MOLLY I didn't read correctly, Arthur only saved him while Merlin was just about to drink the poison.

All the process of Arthur's acceptance of magic was wonderfully written (aka the last three quarters of the story) and don't you think it was an easy and short one. Especially with a Merlin who kept asking him to end this by respecting Camelot's law. Having a very low-esteem of himself, thinking everything went wrong because of him, having lost Will, Freya, Lancelot, killed Uther, abandoned Morgana, everything weighed a lot on his mind. etc. his destiny was a bullshit pretext, he lost faith and lost sight of why he was doing it.

*end of spoilers that was for the beginning of the story*

*I won't disclose much anymore about the plot but here's my review*

And the writer is a genius because everything that is happening to Merlin doesn't make him pathetic, where you want to laugh at that character's face. You want to hug him and sometimes knock out some sense into him but you still respect him. 

What I love about this story is the slowness of the different actions. Not a lot happen in 165.000 words and that's why I like those kind of stories. It is narrated in a way the reader see the bond being broken and then restored and regaining even more strength between Arthur and Merlin. There were a lot of poignant scenes, and one I cried and cried. I couldn't stop but my reading was several time. I couldn't believe the writer would go on this path!

And the end, omg the end. 

Oh and if anyone's asking, it is a story on the bromance of Arthur and Merlin, Beyond the Vale is too. It is rated M for the graphic imagery and sensitive issue.