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Lecture Translated: "The Magic of Love"

by Sarah Tayel

Salaams everyone! I did my best to translate this amazing Arabic lecture by Mustafa Hosny word for word. Just an FYI – this is an episode in a series he did a few years back called Sihr El Donya (“Magics of the World"). It was a great series and he talked about many worldly ni’imas (blessings) that have been abused by people, such as “love,” which is discussed thoroughly in this episode. That’s why throughout the episode, he refers to love as “magic” and he continuously refers to people that have abused love as “bewitched by love.”

“Lost in translation” is a statement that holds true. I did my best to make my translation sound as accurate as possible, and it is, but the way he explains it – with his emotion and facial expression and all – makes it sound a billion times better. I encourage you all to watch it while reading my translation. I have also italicized Arabic words and phrases and translated them in parenthesis throughout the translation. At the end of every little segment below I wrote the point in the video in minutes & seconds that the translation is at, it is indicated in bold. Near the end of the video he states a lot of ayahs and such so I encourage you to listen to them for yourself (although I left a brief summary about what they were about.)

Enjoy! And may Allah increase your knowledge of His deen always inshaaAllah. Always remember to stay sincere to Allah, pushing aside any worldly distractions, such as forbidden love, that may keep you from doing so.

Please let me know if you ever want any other Arabic lectures, especially by Mustafa Hosny, translated. The ask box is always open for suggestions on any any Arabic lectures you all would like to see translated in the future inshaaAllah!

Here's the link for the video: https://www.youtube.com/watchv=fzUHMmgXqkY&index=7&list=FLrnbrYf5GbqFsuOnWk3r-5A

The magic of the world (sihr el donya) is a blessing (ni’ima) that a person goes in, takes their lust and forgets Allah SWT, and we were commanded to go into the donya (world) and take advantage of these ni’imas without forgetting Allah SWT. That is why the individual who is biwitched by a magic is the individual who the ni’ima (blessing) has taken control of, and made them forget Allah SWT. They become a follower of the ni’ima and not a follower of Allah. (2:23)

Today’s “magic” doesn't need a long introduction, because when you walk through the streets, you see thousands of people bewitched by this magic. TV encourages you to be bewitched by this magic. Many of your college friends are bewitched by this magic and wonder how you’re able to resist it. Today’s (episode’s) “magic” is love.

Love is, in simplest terms, is 2 people who love each other. Initially, their intentions are good/pure; they want to get married, but maybe time and/or money doesn’t help them/allow them to so they decide to enjoy their feelings of love before the religious (shari'ya) steps that are supposed to be taken… so they enter a race… a race between their love for Allah, and their love for each other. (3:03)

We agreed at the beginning of sihr el donya (the series’ name), that you can identify a bewitched person when he who forgets the intended purpose that Allah created the ni’ima (blessing) for. Why did Allah create love? He created it because it is an extremely strong feeling between a boy and girl or man and woman. This feeling is what holds relationships together for the longest periods of time. When you get married, you’re together for 20, 30 years… and in the midst of this time comes tests and obstacles and you need something to hold you two together, and it’s love; the extremely strong feeling between a man and woman. Allah created this feeling, one of the most tasteful feelings between a man and woman so that it can be a climate for the relationship; a nice climate for generosity and sacrificing and forgiveness; all of this so that we can preserve the ties between us. Love is the most tasteful feeling that exists, when it enters in any relationship, it blesses it. Even starting with your relationship with Allah, there’s a difference between someone who prays so that they can push their shari’iya (Islamic obligations) responsibilities off their shoulder, and someone who prays because they truly and sincerely love Allah. There’s a difference between a marriage that is just sexually based, which is their right Islamically, but when love enters that relationship, it is blessed and elevated; it has the enjoyment that Allah created, and at the same time it increases the feeling and love. So, love is the best feeling, and without it, all relationships are put out (the word he used is the word that you use when you put out a candle or fire), but unfortunately the one who is bewitched by love is the individual who rushed things before the Islamic (shari’iya) steps, so he sacrificed for his feelings, his entire future and his past and his morals and relationship with Allah (SWT). So today, let’s exit outside our nafs (selves/egos/spirits), and see how love deals with our nafs, and see if we really “love” or if we’ve been tricked by it. (5:00)

Before we continue our journey with the magic of love, and get to the story of a bewitched/tricked person, I’m going to talk to you guys about 3 signs (that are evident in one who is bewitched) and I want you to analyze yourself. I’m going to remind the girls, and guys, to see if these signs are present in you or not, because I told you guys before, love is a beautiful feeling. When someone asks me if love is haram (forbidden by Islamic law) or halal (permissible by Islamic law) , I instantly say it’s halal. The problem isn’t with the feelings; the problem is the actions that are caused by the feelings. The problem is the haram that is caused by the feelings. The problem is the banning of your love to Allah, and the invitation of the feelings caused by love to your heart. This is why I’m going to tell you about these signs, and see if they are in you or not, and if they are evident in you, start admitting “yes, I’ve been bewitched/trick by love, and I need to break this curse/magic.” (5:53)

The first sign, if love has bewitched us, is that you find that the two people that love each other, a lot, look for temporary enjoyment. We’ve established that a person who loves, cares/fears for their lover a lot. And by the way, the boy that loves you, fears for somebody to hit on you or hurt you but as soon as the temporary enjoyment rolls in – the holding of the hand, the nice looks, and stuff more than this – he forgets his fear over something happening to you – because his boldness and his love for getting close to you, which is just a characteristic of men, makes him forget to fear over your relationship with Allah, your reputation in front of people, or even your reputation in front of him, and your reputation/picture in front of yourself. He looks for temporary enjoyment, and inside of you is your kindness and desire and love which could lead to your own desire to temporary enjoyment….. Love has 2 paths; one path that Allah loves and described and this path has 2 characteristics: barakah (blessing) and simplification, especially for those who want to get married; notice how Allah baraks (blesses) and makes it easy for them.

And the other path Shaytan created, and approves of it, and gets happy at the amount of bad deeds that are on it. This path’s characteristic is temporary enjoyment and bodily/sexual enjoyment. (7:09)

This is why the Quran has taught us that if you love, marry and that’s it. Go in the right path. It says to the girls, mohsinat, which means married, ghayr mosafihat, which means never fall/engage in fahisha (really bad sins/actions), and la motakhidati akhdanan, which means don’t date/have boyfriends. The Quran says to men, mohsineen, which means get married and be a man; fear over the girl that you love, ghayr masifiheen, which means, again, never fall/engage in fahisha, and la moatikhideena akhdanan, which, again, means don’t date/have girlfriends. This is the path that Allah has described and approves and blesses and makes easy. Anything besides this means that we’re looking for temporary enjoyment and we forgot our love for each other and, rather, love the enjoyment that we get out of each other – this means we are very bewitched by love. (7:59)

Now let me tell you about the second sign – and this is when the magic has really drowned you and really makes itself at home in your heart. A weakness happens in trying to overcome it – the boldness of the boy in getting closer to you. A weakness happens from the girl when trying to overcome him getting close to her. Let me tell you a scientific fact; scientists say that in the moments of strong love, a hormone called oxytocin is present in our bodies. This hormone gives us a phenomenal enjoyment and trance. This hormone is present in 3 cases: the moments of love and closeness, the moments of sexual relations between a man and woman, and the moments of breastfeeding between a mother and her baby. This hormone causes a trance, first of all, so that a mother could feel kindness and happiness towards her child and so that there could be enjoyment between a HALAL sexual relationship between a man and woman. This hormone is also present between the closeness of two lovers, married or unmarried, but right now our issue at hand is with the magic of love on those that are unmarried. When this hormone is present and creates a trance in our body, there is a system in our brain called the markaz el ta’aziz (center of support). A ta’aziz is something that asks for more – when the military asks for ta’azizat, they are given more of something by the government. Now this center of support, when the body is happy, it asks the brain for more. This is when the feeling of shawq (longing/yearning) is born. You wish to get closer, and when you hold their hand, you wish for it to happen again. You’re always thinking about this stuff because of the hormone oxytocin, which causes this trance in your body. (9:34)

There’s a poem in Arabic that says: (it sounds so great in Arabic translation KILLS it) “Salaams to the love that is created between us, which runs through my soul and heart, and makes me forget my God and drowns my Jannah, and ahlan w sahlan (hello) to the pain and suffering of my hellfire.” This poem is basically saying, even if I’m going to hellfire afterwards, it doesn't matter, what matters is that it doesn't equal to the fire of my love. I want to get closer to you, I want to allow you to get closer to me because this gives me enjoyment and trance. (This poem illustrates how bewitched by love a person can become.) (10:00)

The final sign – and when I say these signs, be brave and face yourself, ask yourself, am I like this or no? The final sign is tabreer (justification/giving excuses). Why are you allowing him to get closer to you? Why did you even date in the first place? Do you not fear for her? The excuse he gives is “I want to marry her.” And the excuse she gives is “he fears for me, and tomorrow/someday he will be my husband. and I’m not doing this because my manners are inappropriate or I’m one of those night girls or something – no- I’m allowing him to do this because he’s the individual I’m going to live with for the rest of my life.”… Then why don’t you guys get married today? “We can’t get married because there’s no money or we’re still college students.” Then why don’t you distance yourselves from each other because this is haram and Allah doesn’t approve of this? … “We can’t.” They make excuses. As soon as you find yourselves doing bad things and making excuses – know that you have been bewitched. Any magic of this world, one of the biggest signs is the convincing yourself that you’re not at fault or the convincing that “yes, I’m wrong, but what am I going to do? The whole world is like this, and everybody who dates is like this, and all those TV series are like this, and everybody in college is like this, and the sports club is all like this, and the street is all like this.”… As soon as you find yourself making excuses, know that you have been bewitched. That’s why after I’ve told you these 3 signs – the looking for temporary enjoyment, weakening of overcoming, and making excuses… ask yourself, where are you?

Remember the 4 levels of a magic in every past episode in this series 1) one who wishes to do bad things and enjoyment – the level of desire. 2) a’aqd el niyah (intention to commit sin) 3) enjoyment of the haram… and finally 4) the getting used to of the sin… where are you? Do you (step 1) desire to love after watching that soap opera or movie on TV? Is the situation still in the stage of desire? Or did you (step 2) take the decision that you’re going to love and date when college comes around? Or did you (step 3) try your first enjoyment, and you had your hand held for the first time and you felt that you’re the king/queen of your time, and you tasted the first step and the magic has begun to seep to your heart? Or is this all old news to you (step 4), and your love for Allah has gone and here came along another type of love that drowned you both and you’ve gotten closer (he is hinting at sexual fulfillment)..Where are you? See what place you’re at and say “Oh Allah, take my hand and save me from the magic of love.” (12:20)

Let me tell you a story about someone who has been bewitched (by love). Today’s story is a girl’s story. She says… “We were in college, me and some of my peers – boys and girls - were asked by my professor to do a project. We all used to meet up some places in the college and at cafés after school, discussing, drawing, and doing the project. There was one boy in the group that I had an extremely casual relationship with at first – a relationship that was like between me and any other guy, a word and laugh here and there, but the relationship between us became stronger when he called me one day and asked if he could tell me something private, a problem between him and his family where his family preferred his brother over him.” She says “I’ve never seen a guy this weak before, and crying like this, so I felt that I had to take him in and be kind to him. “I got used to his phone calls. He used to always call me and tell me what was new and what was going on. And so that he would call me even more, because I got really happy from his calls, I also began telling him about a problem between my best friend and I where she would get jealous of me.” And the phone calls began to increase, and she stood by him until his problem with his family began to die down. “He asked from me once that we go out alone, something I’ve never done in my life before. We went out after class, and I found that he got me a small gift and he told me that he loved me. I was just about to talk and he told me, ‘look, I don’t want a response from you, I just wanted to get my feelings out.’” (13:48)

The funniest thing is that all us guys do this. All boys when they tell a girl they love her they tell her to not respond and they know that it’s better for her not to respond so that she doesn’t turn him down and if she thinks about it, she’ll think about the attention and she’ll come back weak to him. (14:00)

So he told her “I love you and I don’t want a response.” She said she went home, “the happiest person on earth, someone is interested in me and loves me.“ “I asked from him that we meet again, and we sat together and I wanted to say that I loved him but I told him: ‘We’re still freshmen in college, what are we going to do the rest of our time here? We can’t continue this way, I wasn’t raised like this.” He said “I want to marry you, and I don’t want anything wrong, let’s just be together like this and I just wanted you to know the feelings that I had inside of me.” (14:26)

Here comes the likeness; the likeness in a relationship that confuses people; should I continue in this relationship or no? Well he’s a man, and he wants to marry me, and he doesn’t want to hurt me, and he’s not playing with me. And here, sometimes one is tricked. (14:37)

She said “without any word, we made a deal to date, like any two people in college that dated. We kept making excuses that we wanted to get married, but in the end, all of our outings and closeness to each other was like that of any two that dated.” And this is what happened. She said that their love kept getting strong and one thing led to another – “he began getting closer to me and holding my hand and stuff more than this,” and when he began doing this, she said “I couldn’t overcome it,” because she loved him. She said she felt a case of cheating when she saw her dad. “When my dad messed with me and came closer to me, I remembered the boy that loved me and how when he got close to me and I felt like I was being torn up by knives, because I wasn’t able to overcome the love story between us. And every time I told him “please, let’s not get close to each other like this,” he would say, “by the way, we get close to each other so that we can get to know each other more so that when we get married we won’t fight a lot.’” Here’s an excuse from a boy that’s weak and has been bewitched by love. (15:27)

Then, the 3 remaining years of college finished, each year with them getting closer and closer to each other. The boy rushed before he was able to start working, and he went to ask the girl’s family for her hand in marriage. And when he proposed to her, it’s expected that the dad ask him what he works as and where the apartment is… The boy responded saying, “Oh Uncle, I love your daughter sincerely, and I’m going to try my hardest, my family is going to help me a bit but inshaaAllah (God willing) I’m going to work. So it’s expected that the dad tell him “Okay son, when you work and have enough for the dowry, then come back.” A totally normal response from any father, by the way. (16:07)

She was shocked, and he was shocked. Her father found out that they loved each other and were seeing each other so he forbid her from going out. I read in a book called “The Shock of Love” by Dr. Ross, that when 2 people who love each other experience a shock that distances them from each other, one of two things happens; either the love and longing increases and they want to get closer to each other, or one or both of them commit suicide. And this is what happened with the girl; when her father distanced them from each other, their love for each other grew even more like Dr. Ross says; but they didn’t commit suicide. They talked on the phone for hours on end but she missed him a lot. So one day, he asked from her to meet him. To meet him where? At his house. His family was somewhere traveling, and he told her “I miss you.”.. and she went to meet him at his house, and a bodily/sexual relationship happened. Remember the hormone oxytocin that I told you about earlier? The one that pulls someone into a trance that they don’t know how to overcome? This sexual relationship happened day after day, week after week, and the girl is in a age of marriage, and she’s losing everything. Suitors began coming to propose to her, and she rejected each one of them one by one, while still engaging in the sexual relationship. Then came along a suitor that couldn’t be rejected, and she said “I don’t know what to reject him for, so I agreed to him.” And Surat al Fatiha was read (the marriage was intended), and she was still going to the her old lover’s bedroom in his house. And she got engaged – are you aware where she is right now? Are you aware that she’s going to look for furniture and colors of the house and the wedding dress and she’s gotten to know her in-laws and she’s gotten to know her fiancé more and more… all of this and she’s still going to the house of the boy she loved in college. She says “my wedding is tomorrow, and yesterday I was at his house.. in his bedroom.. – excuse my language – on his bed.” (17:54)

She lost everything. She can’t love her fiancé that loves her to death. A life that just doesn't fit. She lost her world. We’re not going to judge someone and say that she lost her afterlife because Allah’s doors are always open, and even the world’s doors if someone is able break this magic. (18:15)

I know that there could be a lot of girls in the same case as this girl, and many boys – unfortunately – he wronged/took the rights of many girls under the magic of love and under the excuse that “we want to get married” and “I’m a man and I fear for her.” (18:28)

Ya Allah, in the right of this Athan (athan was playing in the background) and in the words Allahuakbar ashhadu anna Muhammad rasool Allah (There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger)… Ya Allah anyone in this position and has gotten to this point, to take the decision to break this curse/magic – the magic of love. (18:49)

The first price that someone bewitched by love has to pay is that they sell their love for Allah – and I mean these words – Allah’s love is sold. I said at the beginning of this episode that love for Allah and love for the haram cannot exist together in the same heart. Anyone who gives in to his/her desires bans their loves for Allah from their heart. (19:45)

The second punishment/price that someone bewitched by love has to pay is the corruption of the feeling of love. The individual loses trusts in love. All of the love, and laughs, and touches, and looks, causes the individual to lose trust/hope in the fact that they could be in a committed relationship that lasts. You find men and woman alike, that have passed the age of 30, that don’t have any issue health wise or financially or physically but that aren’t able to get married because they lost the enjoyment of love. Allah mentions this in the Quran, that when a human enjoys their desires and forgets Allah, they take their share of the enjoyment and then it goes. The heart is initially a virgin.. but overtime, the heart gets used to this and is stretched apart from the amount of love and messing around and problems. Watch out for this punishment, because this punishment is very bad in dunya (Earth). I mean, is there anything better than love? (21:40)

The last punishment/price to pay is a very big price to pay and has no raka’a (unit of prayer) and whoever pays this price won’t be able to apologize. It’s the restitution on the Day of Judgment. In dunya, it is easy to compensate someone’s rights, but what are you going to do on the Day of Judgment when a father or brother that you violated his honor (it doesn’t have to be a violation as in a sexual relationship all the way, but even a touch, look, or desire for)…. asks for his honor back? (22:08)

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said “kol muslim a’ala muslim haram, damaho w malaho w a’ardaho.” " كُلُّ الْمُسْلِمِ عَلَى الْمُسْلِمِ حَرَامٌ دَمُهُ وَعِرْضُهُ وَمَالُهُ " (All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother-in-faith: his blood, his property and his honor").The man who’s 50 or 60 years old… his daughter is his a’ard (honor).. and this teenage boy, his sister is his honor, and when you get close to this girl, and closeness that’s not halal, you are violating his honor. What are you going to do on the Day of Judgment, the day that all secrets arise and you are in front of Allah.. and in front of the open hand of someone you’ve never seen before, or maybe you have seen before and were messing with his daughter, and he asks you “my right, my right in my honor.” And that’s not all. Your hand that touched the girl is going to talk and say “Oh Allah, I couldn’t, I was so sad, I didn’t want to touch but you created me for this person that used me this way.” In the Quran, it states: "الْيَوْمَ نَخْتِمُ عَلَى أَفْوَاهِهِمْ وَتُكَلِّمُنَا أَيْدِيهِمْ وَتَشْهَدُ أَرْجُلُهُمْ بِمَا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُونَ" (That Day, We will seal over their mouths, and their hands will speak to Us, and their feet will testify about what they used to earn.) {Quran ~ 36:65} (23:48)

We were bewitched and have to pay a huge price on the Day of Judgment, and rights to the Prophet and to the family of the girl you loved, and Allah before anyone else that you sold his love. So think.. think hard and well… are you going to sell Allah’s love? Are you going to sell your heart and corrupt it with the feeling of love? Think about the price you have to pay, the restitution on the Day of Judgment. Think hard, and break this curse, and recover from it. (24:30)

Let’s break this curse together, and recover from the magic of love. I know this situation is tough on girls because love equals protection and the intention of girls is pure, but they become weak – and this is something completely natural and the best thing in love is the closeness and love doesn’t increase without closeness. But it’s haraam. Wait a little bit, until it’s under – I won’t say under the eyes of Allah because everything is under the eyes of Allah – but under approval of Allah. The first thing is to fill your heart with love for Allah. There has to be an alternative. Plato the famous philosopher says “Love is the attraction of an empty heart.” Truth. He’s right. So we have to resort to the alternative to fill up this emptiness. We have to charge our love for Allah into our heart with thikr (the remembrance of Allah) and duaa (act of supplication) that Allah rids us of anything that bans his love. This is my promise to all girls, there has to be an alternative, and I don’t have anything besides love for Allah as an alternative so that it can rid the controlling of haram love. Another way to rid the curse of love is a test of trust. Tell the boy – or the man that loves you, that if he loves you sincerely, to fear for your relationship with Allah and your relationship with your family and for your approval of yourself. “Go get your life together and I’ll wait for you.” (26:05)

Let me tell you guys – without laughing – the story of Aantar and Aabla (a well known Arabian love story) – when Aantar wanted to get close to Aabla, she told him to go to her father, and she was of high class and he was a slave. So her father told him to get her 100 red camels, so that all the Arabs will talk about how he bought her such a huge mahr (dowry). So Aantar went, and he was brave, and he fought entire countries – and in front of him (his goal) was his love – Aabla. This is what everyone should do; every man who loves for real – go work and save up and stay close with Allah, with your love in front of your eyes (as your goal). A niyah (intention) that's shareefa (noble), and surely Allah will guide you and help you. (26:50)

Something else to assist you to break the curse of love is to close the doors of desire. Overcome those TV series that are all about love and the forbidden love, even their names encourages bad sins. Overcome these series, overcome romance movies, overcome looking at the enjoyment of 2 lovers hugging each other or whatever in the streets. (27:22)

Let’s achieve the opposite of this curse, and wish for the boy or girl that (this is a summary) loves Allah and Quran and loves the halal only. Let’s wish for the position of Maryam, who said no human being touched her. (28:28)

“May Allah give me patience, and hang my heart with you and forbid the magic of love from entering my heart so that it doesn’t rid it of my love for you.”

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