#dc crackship

What I’m saying is that they should give eachother blowjobs, for tactical reasons…yeah, tactical reasons.

I’m sure in my soul that Joker suggests it, blaming something like dopamine and both of them being beaten by Batman too easily lately. He would say it half joking, the type of joke that is accompanied by a “…it’s a joke, of course, unless-“

Riddler would make a point about getting to shut J up, tension would rise.

They would so start just having fast hookups, probably in a 69 position, because neither wants to kneel before the other, and they want to take advantage of being with someone ad tall as them for once (To me, they are both tall and lanky, so)

I bet Joker has no gag reflex (and blames the chemicals, somehow, did he swallow some while in the vat of acid?), and Riddler gets competitive about it (he keeps on choking, J is long and thin, poor Nygma)

And if eventually they trust eachother a bit too much and move onto normal blowjobs? Even better

One could reach sweet moments, the other I can see being downright nasty

With Harvey, even though initially still mad at anything mafia-adjacent, would slowly accept his new place as a Gotham villain, and that he’s gotta interact with others.

Out of all the options, Oswald is bearable, and a good conversationalist, so I can see them getting closer, playing cards from time to time, Oswald more manipulative about it than Harvey.

But TwoFace….TwoFace, that nasty fuck.

There wouldn’t be a doubt he goes straight to wanting some fun with Oswald, beacouse his flirting is borderline harassment

TwoFace doesn’t just say a compliment, he whistles at Penguin when he gets up to get them a different set of cards and very clearly stares at his ass.

He makes the point of sitting way too close to Penguin during villian meetups, shoulders touching when there is plenty of room for personal space…

When Penguin is finally persuaded into having some fun, it takes a lot of strength for TwoFace to not yell “finally!”.

He would so ask Ozz to sit on his face. Just saying. He can handle it, he says, a “warrior’s death” to die under a big ass, he says.