#dazydew

(sorry this is long and kind of rambly and maybe doesn’t make sense laskjfdlajdf, i just wanted to write this all out now before bed because i didn’t want to leave it hanging!!)

i’m not really sure how i get such kind messages either to be honest. it’s a surprise and honor every time. i try to give as much kindness as i receive then but it’s still other people being so sweet to start with, so i guess the facts are there’s just some really good people on this site, including yourself.

i’m really sorry to hear about how things have been going for you, and the toll it’s been taking. it sincerely sucks when you want to be kind, but it just requires too much energy that you don’t have. at the same time, i feel like it helps to try not to think of “kind” as like a constant state so much as like describing momentary feelings and actions. (same with being happy.) 

i think being at peace with yourself and your world is the ideal, and when we’re at peace, we’re able to give and also experience more happiness. the key is it’s so difficult to be at peace (especially considering the state of the world right now). 

it’s hard for you right now but i see you’re trying to be that person still with the warm wishes you just extended to me. you’re still you even if you say you miss being like that. that desire and hope to give/help is like 60% of the process. you just have to give yourself a break and take care of yourself first. being kind to other people when you are down yourself is one of the hardest things to do, almost impossible. (i think this is a statement that’s easily said and understood on the surface but really it’s super impossible sometimes and it actually hurts to have to give yourself when you’re just trying to hold yourself together)

and thank you for the generous words towards me. in regards to my secret--sometimes i honestly worry about how i come off on this blog because i think it seems like i’m someone who never gets mad or frustrated or acts on bad feelings when i definitely do asldkfjkalksjd i just don’t post about it because i don’t really want my blog to be about my life, but rather appreciation about the good things in life in general. i definitely get angry too and do things i regret too!

but i hope you have something or you can find something that helps you vent the sadness, depression, anger. any sort of physical thing. people usually say exercise, but find something that means something to you and you can concentrate on, and it’s something just for you. that’s what singing is to me, although sometimes when feeling anxious i’ll just ink a whole page with one marker asldfjkaldj really just explore whatever works to release that energy

you ended your message perfectly laksjdf so i’ll just echo it and say stay safe, follow what brings you happiness,