#dayseventytwo

It was a little easier to wake up this morning, even though my throat was hurting.

Stupid acid reflux.

After having dinner with AS last night, I went home and called G and P. G’s really worried about the discolouration of my teeth since I got gastritis two years ago; she thinks I should get caps.

She kinda has a point. My teeth are slowly chipping and rotting. Just another morbid reminder that I’m getting older. My parents had false teeth put in when they were both in their thirties because of gum diseases in their childhoods. But they both grew up poor, so what’s my excuse? Too much decadence and never having a thing denied me?

I digress.

I hope I can get some minor surgery done on my esophagus in the next year or two to repair the damage I’ve done to it.

Work was ok today, just a bit busy. My students pretending to not know any English is starting to weigh on me. Maybe I’ve been babying them and helping them too much in class; now they rely too much on those cues instead of actually trying to understand the class activities. I feel like I need to hit the ‘reset’ button on teaching and try to start from scratch with being a better teacher.

That’s been two days of leaving work early and not actually savouring some ‘me time’. Yesterday, it was because I treated AS to her first ever hotpot dinner. Today, it was because I’m still behind on all my school work and needed to try and finish a few things.

I think I might skip some of the events I’ve been invited to like Diwali with D and a Halloween party with AM. I’m too tired and burnt out these days. Besides, I’ve been blowing off spending time with another Chinese friend of mine named LY. Maybe I can hang out with her for a bit on Saturday and go from there.

I re-inflated my punching bag while watching some more of my Chinese drama. I feel a bit flat all of a sudden, I’m not sure why.

Maybe it’s because I’m procrastinating about writing my goodbye letter to X.

I don’t know what the big deal is. I should just write it and get it over with. No sense in dragging my feet, especially when I’m beginning to miss X less and less each day. There’s no way to go except forward.

My friend KI is having trouble with her boyfriend. She loaned him money so he could apply for his visa to come back to China. But he keeps asking her for more money and blowing her off when it comes to paying what he already owes her.

I’m getting a strong sense of dejavu here thinking about X. Why do people treat each other like trash and all for the sake of money? I guess Jennifer Lopez was wrong when she said that love doesn’t cost a thing.

Then again, it’s probably not real love if it costs you more than your heart.

I advised KI not to give her boyfriend any more money and she agreed. I hope she’ll be ok and not get scammed by the person she’s dating too. It’s too late for me to change what happened in my own life, but it doesn’t mean I can’t stop other people I care about from going through the same thing I did.

I still need to apply for more jobs here in my city for next year. I’m trying not to stress about it, but the time is ticking away.

I still need to mend the felt stickers on my Super Mario costume; luckily I still have a whole week before Halloween.

Maybe I should start on my letter and go from there.