#days wasted

Go Hawaii

Some days just pass by without anything happening. Sometimes I wonder whether these days were well spent or completely wasted. I guess it depends on how you look at it. Me, I'm not too worried about it. I'm getting healthier, both physically and mentally, every day. I am happy for these days that just allow my mind to rest.

I played video games for a number of hours today, primarily Bioshock, Naruto, Mortal Kombat, and Left 4 Dead 2. I also played a lot of RuneScape, which is mind-numbing. The community on that game, however, often makes me laugh.

I went out for dinner with my mother and one of her co-workers, who is probably the only real friend my mother has. I encourage her often to spend more time with her, and I think she is. My mother can not go a day without making a comment about her oldest not being here anymore, or her husband not being here, or her children all leaving her. It's clear she's plagued by demons. I do everything I can for her; she is the most amazing woman in my life. I am trying to be there for her.

I would like to thank those who messaged me since my last post. Some messages were kind, others were more blunt. But getting responses is extremely valuable, and I read through every single one critically. One of them said, not unkindly, that finding a companion would help me avoid being hurt and would be helpful in letting me heal. I think I've been finding that recently, and it has helped. People like Zoe and Tina are people that I value being around, but that I do not pursue relationships with. They are good people.