#day2*

I. Theta Waves

When Nikola came back up to the District 3 suite, tired and sore from training, he was debating between scavenging up some food or just collapsing on his bed. Instead, he found Welth directing a pair of Avoxes into his room.

"Uh." Nik cleared his throat. "What is this," he said, less a question than a grouse.

Welth turned on his heel and scowled at Nik. "Since you've proven that you can't handle having nice things at your disposal, I'm having your room stripped of anything you might... destroy."

Nik stared at him, then at the passing Avox carrying out a pair of lamps. "What? Are you kidding? I told you like a hundred times, I was gonna put that stuff back together--"

"Oh?" Welth sniffed, not looking at Nik. "And how did you intend on doing that?"

Nik groaned in exasperation and pushed his hair back from his forehead. "By doing it! That's what I do, you stupid--" Welth gave him a withering glare and Nik looked ready to strangle him.

Vibim poked his head around the corner, drawn by the sounds of an impending screaming match. The mentor coughed pointedly and approached them, "Everything alright here?"

Nik whipped his head around, "Would you talk some sense into his thick skull? He's taking everything I was working on an--"

"Working on? Don't make me laugh! Is that what they call destruction of property out in the sticks?"

Vibim cringed slightly and implicated himself between the two. "Whoa, okay. Mr. Asdgat, would you please?" Vibim nodded toward where the Avoxes were taking the last of the electronics from the room. Welth rolled his eyes, turned on his heel, and sashayed away. Vibim turned back to Nik. "Nikola. I understand why you're upset, but you need to calm down."

"But it's--it's the only thing I'm fucking good at!" His voice cracked with desperation at the last, and then silence hung heavy between them.

"That's not true," Vibim said after a moment, unruffled. "And either way, I'm afraid I can't overrule Mr. Asdgat in this case. It will be alright though." Nik took a deep breath and sighed, frowning. Vibim smiled slightly. "Alright? I promise."

II. Delta Waves

The clock on the wall read 12:34. Nik couldn't sleep. He'd thought earlier of Thalia's offer, but Welth had been watching him like a hawk throughout the evening and he gave up on the prospect. But now it was growing late, and the suite was dark and quiet. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, at least not anytime soon, and there was nothing to tinker with, so Nik wandered out into the common area of the suite. A stack of videos of past games laid on the table. With little better to do, Nik decided to try catching up on what he'd done his best to ignore for the past sixteen years.

He didn't realize how absorbed he was in the chaos on the screen, until someone cleared their throat a few feet away. He jumped, startled, and looked up to see Vibim next to him. He hadn't heard the man in come in at all. "Jeez, ya scared me," Nik mumbled.

Vibim smiled wanly. "My apologies." He glanced at the screen: a girl from Five (the victor that year) had constructed a sort of overcharged makeshift taser, using it to stun her opponents before killing them. Vibim frowned and looked away quickly, fiddling with his eyeglasses instead. "Couldn't sleep, I take it?"

Nik simply shrugged.

"Sleep doesn't come easily for me either, I'm afraid," Vibim said, with a self-deprecating humor in his voice. "Can't say this will help you get much rest, though." He gestured toward the television screen.

Nik sighed and shrugged again, half-heartedly. "Never really watched the games before. Figured I could learn a thing or two." He considered mentioning that the video for the 25th games, Vibim's games, were conspicuously absent. But that was one of the few games he had seen bits and pieces of--his district's pet Victor, after all, beloved and feared. A dry smirk tugged at his mouth with the thought.

Silence fell between the two. On the screen, the girl from Five bent over the stunned body of another tribute, took the dagger from his hand, and slit his throat. The report of the cannon came through hollowly on the television speakers.

"There's really only so much you can learn from watching these, you know," Vibim spoke up softly.

"Since I'm learning so much from you," Nik said. It came out more bitterly than he'd intended.

Vibim seemed to hesitate, cleaning his glasses on his shirt. "Someone once told me," he said at length, "you should be careful with what dyes you stain the cloth of your mind."

It fell quiet again. After a few moments, Nik snatched up the remote and paused the playback. The dark room was silent and still.

"I know I'm going to die," Nik said quietly. The paused image flickered on the screen. The stillness seemed absolute. "I don't want to die, but it's like... I just feel it. Down to my bones. I just know."

"I know how you feel," Vibim replied.

"No," Nik snapped, "I don't think you do. You won your games. You survived. What does it matter to you anymore anyway?"

Vibim was silent and stared into a dark corner of the room intently, as if he could see something there no one else could. At length, he spoke, "Do you know what happened in the First Quarter Quell? The districts were required to choose their tributes. They put it to a vote." Nik ducked his head. He did indeed know that; he supposed everyone in Three did. They had so few victors that the details were common knowledge.

Vibim went on, his voice soft and low. "I still don't know why I was chosen. If people actually thought I might survive, or if they just decided I was an acceptable loss. Or if it was just my profound luck." He smiled, crooked, wryly. "I left for the Capitol with no conviction stronger than the feeling I was going off to die." Nik looked up and met Vibim's eyes.

Vibim clapped a hand on his shoulder and smiled, a little sadly. "You should really get some sleep." Nik opened his mouth to protest, but Vibim nodded, as if anticipating what he'd say. "I know, I know, but here," he fished a small bottle out of his pocket. "I normally wouldn't, but if you still can't sleep, these usually help me." Nik took the bottle and peered at the small white pills inside.

"Good-night, Nikola," Vibim said and turned to leave.

"Wait," Nik said after a moment, turning to him. Vibim stopped and looked back. "What you said earlier--what about your mind? How has it been stained?"

Vibim looked at him carefully, and then he smiled sadly, as though it pained him. "Like the wine-dark sea."

He turned again to leave. "Get some rest, Nikola."

III. REM

It was past 2 AM when Nik stumbled back to his room. His eyes itched and the base of his skull ached with the beginnings of a migraine. After some deliberation, he downed three of the pills and some water, and collapsed in bed. He tossed and turned for some minutes, fearing the pills wouldn't work after all. But soon weariness settled heavy in his head and chest, and sleep pulled him under.

He dreamed of a dark pit, open to the sky, but which let no light in. He couldn't see below or around him, only that slip of blue above. His skin was cold metal, rusted through in places where his flesh and blood leaked out. Bodies writhed beneath him, hands grasped in the dark to drag him down below. His jaw was rusted shut, he could not scream. The dark hands clawed inside the rusted-through places, pawed his insides, and pulled his guts out, down down, dragging him under, the slip of sky falling farther away, he was being buried alive, his chest hollowed out, clawing hands, darkness, drowning, no no no no--

He woke gasping for breath and damp with sweat. His guts were trying to eat through his chest with acid, oh god-- He fell out of the bed and staggered to the bathroom. He fell on the cold tile and was sick in the toilet. Everything from the pit of his stomach to his head felt like it was burning from the inside out. He retched until nothing more came up, then he dry-heaved, shaking, sour spit drooling from his mouth. He collapsed against the wall, blood pounding in his ears, utterly spent. It hurt too much to sob, so he just waited for the world to stop spinning.