#davidspade

The Benchwarmers (2016)

For those who don't know what I'm referencing from the movie, Lost & Found (1999), here's the scene where he performs Niel Diamond's, Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show:

Is that my voice?

If you've had to suffer through the pandemic as a single, you're probably worried you’ll die alone at this point. The remedy? The Wrong Missy. You’ll never want to date again and the sooner death comes, the better.

Spark fly when Tim (David Spade) meets beautiful Melissa (Molly Sims). Afterward, she promises to send him her contact information. Soon after, Tim begins texting what he thinks is the girl of his dreams. When he invites Melissa to his important company retreat, he realizes he’s been in communicating with the “wrong Missy” the whole time. Not beautiful Melissa, but the overenthusiastic and deranged Missy (Lauren Lapkus).

Let's be fair. Yes, the setup is contrived. Tim has go on dates with two Melissas, decide to invite the good one to a weekend that could make or break his career - without speaking to her on the phone or meeting her face-to-face a second time - and then Missy must be insane enough to accept his invitation but not enough to get thrown off the plane. Move on. Do you want to see The Wrong Missy, or grumble about coincidences? I gave it a chance. Enough jokes hit their mark in the first few minutes that I thought this might be ok.

This screenplay is devoid of originality. Missy is loud, rude, inappropriate, tone-deaf, borderline alcoholic, nosy, and probably a little bit dangerous too. She's ugly on the inside. She'll drive Tim batty until the third act, when -of course- he'll realize she's been turning his life around in a way the “right Missy” couldn’t have. It’s worth docking a point for predictability but still not enough to make the movie awful. The jokes will do that.

At 35 years old, I won't call Lauren Lapkus too young for David Spade… but if she is, this another Happy Madison production in which a regular-looking dude is paired with a woman above his level, set in a vacation-like location (Hawaii this time), with Happy Madison veterans in supporting roles. Nick Swardson (still not his worst movie), Jackie Sandler, Rob Schneider, and John Farley join in. The whole thing’s probably more of a cash-grab than a legitimate attempt (key word) to make people laugh but I won’t rule out another theory as well. Repeatedly, Missy - there’s no other word for it - rapes or sexually assaults Tim. It could be that director Tyler Spindel, writers Chris Pappas and Kevin Barnett are stupid men who believe the scenario is hilarious. Or there’s an insidious objective. Maybe they’re trying to make a Happy Madison movie in which the woman’s the creep to provide ammunition for some ongoing debate with female critics. Nah.

In The Wrong Missy the only bright spot is Lauren Lapkus. She gives an all-out performance. She’s fully committed to the role and once in a while manages to make you laugh. Everything else is either unintentionally disturbing, dated, lazy, painful, or a combination. I suppose Happy Madison cultists will enjoy it. The rest best steer clear. (September 8, 2020)