The Blandest of the Bland, a.k.a. if white rice cakes were an actor, Ed Burns. So fucking boring and bland that no one thirsts for him here on the Tumblr even though he is quite attractive (and y'all weirdos fuckin' thirst after Danny De Vito, so that's saying something). Yet, not so bland that he can't pull off smarm ✨ perfectly✨.
He's the one I chose for David Breeding (was going to put off introducing him, but yanno...I don't want to write this in the vacuum of the show's pacing). He just looks like one of those assy racist Republicans (think DeSantis, but not as freaking stupid). And he's looked like this since the 90s. I honest to gods believe he has only one facial expression because it's never changed.