The Border: Arabela's Journey Through Adolescence
"Adolescence is a border between childhood and adulthood. Like all borders, itâs teeming with energy and fraught with danger." - Mary Pipher
Mary Pipher's quote captures the essence of adolescence perfectlyâthis "border" is a dynamic space, alive with both opportunities and challenges. Itâs a time of incredible growth, where individuals balance between who they have been and who they are becoming.
Adolescence is a time of transformation and self-discovery. It is the phase of life when we transition from childhood to adulthood, and it is marked by a rollercoaster of emotions, experiences, and growth. During this period, teenagers are in a time of both confusion and clarity. It is a time when we question the world around us, explore our identity, and strive to find our place in society
This phase isnât just a transition; itâs a journey of self-discovery, where each experience and each emotion contributes to the foundation of adulthood. Every challenge faced during adolescence, every question asked, and every boundary tested all play a role in shaping who they will eventually become.
Arabela, a 17-year-old Grade 12 student at Davao Doctors College. She enjoys drawing, watching anime and reading manhwa, reading books, and writing short stories. She stands out for her authenticity and simplicity. Though she may initially appear shy and reserved (demure), she is genuinely engaging when she shares her experiences. As she navigates adolescence, Arabela openly reflects on the changes and challenges that come with this stage, offering thoughtful insights into her journey of self-discovery. Her ability to communicate her thoughts and feelings highlights her growth and resilience, as well as her curiosity about understanding herself and the world around her.
As she approaches the end of her high school journey, she is navigating the challenges and opportunities that come with being on the cusp of young adulthood. Her studies not only prepare her for academic success but also shape her ambitions and aspirations for the future, providing a foundation for her to pursue her goals with resilience and determination."
Physical Milestone (Puberty, Height/Weight, Exercise and Nutrition and Sleep)Â
At 17, Arabela is experiencing the physical changes that come with adolescence, when Arabela was asked about her experiences during puberty, she noted that she has noticed some recent changes in her height and body shape. She mentioned that during her junior high school years, she always sat at the front of the classroom, but now she finds herself seated at the back, where the taller students are placed. Additionally, she shared that her breasts have enlarged. Arabela reflected on her childhood, recalling that she was quite thin and participated in feeding programs due to her weight. Despite these changes, she mentioned that she has not gained significant weight since she was a child, which she attributes to her genetics or heredity from her parents.
When asked if there have been any changes in her appearance, such as her skin, hair, or voice, Arabela replied that her voice has remained unchanged. However, she did experience acne breakouts during this period. In response to a follow-up question about how she handles these changes, she discussed her skincare routine. Arabela emphasized that she applies skincare products to maintain her skinâs health and freshness, indicating her proactive approach to managing the challenges associated with puberty.
Arabela also experiences the challenges of menstruation. When asked about the age at which she first experienced menarche, she shared her experience as part of adolescence that brings difficulties, including the pain and fatigue that often accompany her menstrual cycle.
She described these sensations as sometimes overwhelming and unexplained, making it harder for her to focus on her studies and daily activities. Despite these discomforts, Arabela is learning to navigate this aspect of her adolescence. She understands that these experiences are common among her peers, and she seeks ways to manage her symptoms, such as practicing self-care and ensuring she gets enough rest during her cycle.
Through this process, Arabela is beginning to appreciate the importance of listening to her body and taking the necessary steps to care for herself. While the physical changes of adolescence can be challenging, she remains resilient, knowing that these experiences are part of her journey toward becoming a young adult.
Regarding the physical changes that have surprised her the most, Arabela reflected on the rapid growth she has experienced. She mentioned that her hair, which was once curly or frizzy as a child, now flows naturally as she has entered adolescence. This transformation has allowed her to embrace her evolving sense of self.
Finally, when asked how she feels about the changes in her body shape and appearance, Arabela conveyed that she is not shocked by these changes. While she did not mention any specific aspects that she has come to appreciate, she expressed that she views these transformations as a normal part of growing up. Arabela embraces her experiences as integral to her journey through adolescence, acknowledging that what she is going through is manageable and a natural aspect of her development.
As we asked Arabella regarding Nutrition and Physical Activities at this stage, During the interview, Arabela discussed her weight and eating habits, reflecting on the changes she has experienced. When asked, âHave you experienced any changes in weight or appetite recently? What kinds of foods do you find yourself craving more?â She shared that during her early childhood, her meals primarily consisted of rice and a main dish at every breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Now, at this stage in her life, she finds herself craving snacks after meals, particularly biscuits, fast food, and sweet drinks. Despite these cravings, she also makes a conscious effort to include fruits in her diet, maintaining a balance between unhealthy and healthy foods.
The interviewer further inquired, âHave your eating habits changed recently? Are there any foods you find yourself craving more, or ways youâre focusing on staying healthy?â Arabela replied that her eating habits have remained relatively consistent, although she is more aware of her cravings.
When asked whether she is more conscious about her physical appearance now than before and how it affects her daily routine or self-care, Arabela responded affirmatively. However, she noted that she has not engaged in any physical activities or exercises.
In response to the question, âWhatâs one way your physical strength or stamina has changed over the past year? Do you feel more capable in sports or physical activities?â Arabela expressed that she easily gets tired when performing exercises or engaging in any physical activities.
Lastly, when the interviewer asked, âHow do you feel about your overall health, fitness, and energy levels these days?â Arabela shared that she feels more productive and healthier than before. In her childhood, she would often fall ill, but now she believes she is better equipped to manage her health and resist illnesses. This newfound resilience marks a significant change in her overall well-being as she navigates through adolescence.
Now in the last part regarding her sleep, the interviewer when asked about her sleep patterns, Arabela described the changes she has experienced over time. During the pandemic, she often went to bed between midnight and 2 a.m. However, now that she is older, she typically goes to sleep around 11 p.m., especially when she feels tired after finishing her workload. She recognizes that when she begins to feel drowsy, itâs a clear indication that it's time for her to rest.
In a follow-up question regarding her sleep pattern, the interviewer asked, âDo you find it easier or harder to get enough rest? What helps you feel rested during this time?â Arabela explained that she has maintained this routine; when she feels tired and drowsy, she prioritizes sleep as a way to recharge from her busy school activities and responsibilities. This commitment to getting adequate rest is crucial for her to manage her workload and maintain her overall well-being as she navigates the challenges of adolescence.
Arabela's physical development during adolescence is characterized by significant changes that mark her transition into young adulthood. At 17, she has grown taller, moving from sitting in the front of her class to the back with her taller peers, and has experienced breast enlargement. While she has encountered challenges like acne, she actively manages her skincare routine. Although her weight has remained stable, her eating habits have shifted; she now craves snacks like biscuits and fast food, alongside fruits for balance. Despite feeling more self-conscious about her appearance, she hasn't engaged in regular physical activities, often feeling fatigued. Nevertheless, she reports feeling healthier and more resilient compared to her childhood, with improved sleep patterns as she prioritizes rest. These changes reflect the complex nature of adolescence, where physical growth, diet, and self-awareness intertwine.
Cognitive Milestones (Formal Operational Stage: Hypothetical-Deductive Reasoning, Adolescents Egocentrism: Imaginary Audience and Personal Fable. Cognitive Control, Emotional Decision-Making)
Arabela, as sheâs at 17-years-old. She is navigating the complexities of her cognitive development, particularly as she transitions into the formal operational stage. When asked about a time she solved a problem using abstract thinking, she was presented with a complex scenario: âIf you had the power to change one thing in your school, what would it be and why?â Arabela took a moment to consider the implications of her decision, outlining how her proposed change could foster a more inclusive environment for students. This exercise allowed her to explore hypothetical outcomes and the reasoning behind her choices.
In another instance, she reflected on a situation where imagining different outcomes helped her make a decision. When presented with the hypothetical scenario of choosing between morning and afternoon school sessions, Arabela weighed the pros and cons of each option. She expressed a preference for morning sessions, as they would allow her to have more time in the afternoon for extracurricular activities, illustrating her capacity for future-oriented thinking.
She understood that proper planning and reasoning are essential to navigate through challenges effectively. She is a very future-oriented person who always makes plans for her future. Whatever happens in the present, she considers how it might affect her future, often making extensive revisions and setting new goals to align with her future aspirations. She frequently states that her future is more important than her current goals, preferring to focus on long-term plans rather than immediate objectives. Adolescents often engage in extended speculation about ideal characteristicsâqualities they wish to embody and see in others. Such thoughts lead them to compare themselves with others based on these ideal standards, and their reflections often become imaginative journeys into future possibilities.
However despite her wit and capabilities for critical thinking she also experiences things like the Theory of Jean Piaget about âAdolescent Egocentrism.â As an adolescent, she sometimes feels like everyone is watching and judging her actions. This self-consciousness was especially evident during a painting project where she feared criticism from her peers. Reflecting on this, Arabela acknowledged how her perception of othersâ judgments influenced her behavior, demonstrating the concept of an imaginary audience that often accompanies adolescence.
For her Cognitive Control (Cold-Executive function), To cope with distractions while studying, Arabela shared that she uses headphones to block out noise, even without music, indicating her awareness of the importance of focus. She described a strategy for managing interruptions, such as putting her phone out of reach during study sessions, highlighting her development of time management skills this
However she mentioned her vulnerability when making choices. For her Decision-Making (Hot Executive Function), Arabela illustrated her emotional decision-making skills when giving her a scenario where she faced a strong emotional reaction during a school event. When a friend dared her to participate in a risky activity, she considered the excitement to join the activity versus the potential consequences, reflecting her emotional impulses. She spoke about peer pressure and how it sometimes leads her to engage in risky behavior to fit.Â
At 17, Arabela exemplifies the Formal operational stage of cognitive development, engaging in abstract thinking and hypothetical reasoning. Her reflection on potential school changes demonstrates her ability to evaluate outcomes and consider future implications. While she effectively weighs options, such as preferring morning classes for more afternoon time, she also experiences adolescent egocentrism, feeling scrutinized by peers. This self-consciousness is evident during a painting project, highlighting the imaginary audience concept common in adolescence. Arabela employs cognitive control strategies, like using headphones and minimizing phone distractions to enhance focus. However, she admits vulnerability in emotional decision-making, especially when faced with peer pressure, balancing excitement against potential consequences.Overall, her experiences reflect the complexities of adolescence, where cognitive, emotional, and social factors intersect, shaping her journey toward maturity.
Socioemotional MilestonesÂ
Arabela's socioemotional development is marked by a complex interplay of self-esteem, self-regulation, self-identity, spiritual development, family dynamics, and friendships. Recently, she has been grappling with feelings of inadequacy, describing her self-esteem as fluctuating. She admits that she hasn't been performing at her best academically, which contributes to her lack of confidence. However, she finds pride in her patience and intelligence, qualities that help her maintain a positive view of herself even in challenging times.
When faced with stress or overwhelming situations, Arabela employs reading as a coping mechanism, finding solace in books that allow her to calm down and regain focus. Reflecting on her growth, she recognizes a shift in how she manages emotions and impulses compared to her younger self. Unlike before, when she was more open to sharing her feelings, she now prefers to navigate challenges more privately, indicating a maturation in her self-regulation.
In defining her identity, Arabela acknowledges that her interests and values play a significant role. She expresses a desire to explore new experiences, yet admits that she can be easily influenced by the opinions of others. This struggle to assert her self-identity sometimes leaves her feeling uncertain about where she fits in, a challenge she navigates by seeking activities that resonate with her interests and values.
Arabela's spiritual beliefs also contribute to her sense of self. She embraces a âgo with the flowâ attitude and actively participates in church activities, which provide her with a framework for her values and decision-making processes. These spiritual practices help her ground herself amid the chaos of adolescence.
Her relationship with her family is supportive, although she experiences some boundaries that occasionally hinder her independence. While she appreciates her familyâs guidance, she feels pressure to conform to their expectations, leading to occasional conflicts over her time and priorities. Resolving these conflicts can be challenging for her, as she often struggles to find effective communication strategies.
Arabela's relationship with her parents is characterized by an understanding that, while they are supportive, their busy work schedules often leave little room for open communication. Although conflicts arise, they are not typical arguments; instead, disagreements stem from the pressures of time and responsibilities. Arabela recognizes that her parents' demanding jobs mean they have limited time to engage with her on various issues, which can create a sense of distance.
Interestingly, because there are no significant conflicts or arguments in her household, Arabela has not developed specific strategies for resolving disagreements. Instead, she navigates her relationship with her parents by being patient and understanding of their circumstances. She tries to make the most of the moments they do share, finding ways to connect when they can. This approach allows her to maintain a positive relationship with her parents, even amid their busy lives.
Friends play a crucial role in Arabelaâs life, providing emotional support and encouragement. She values her friends for their patience and ability to lift her spirits, which significantly boosts her self-esteem. However, she also feels pressure from her outgoing peers, which sometimes challenges her sense of self. Reflecting on her friendships, she recalls a specific challenge in seventh grade that tested her relationships, emphasizing the importance of open communication in resolving conflicts and maintaining strong bonds.
When it comes to dating and romantic relationships, Arabela feels she needs more personal development before committing to a relationship. Although she hasnât encountered challenges or rewards in romantic experiences yet, she understands that as she matures, navigating these relationships will require her to balance her emotional readiness with her desire for connection.
Overall, Arabela's socioemotional journey reflects her continuous efforts to build self-esteem, regulate her emotions, define her identity, navigate family dynamics, and cultivate friendships, all while preparing for the future that lies ahead.
Challenges, Satisfaction and Lessons
Arabela currently grapples with significant pressures that stem from various sources, including academic expectations, social dynamics, and family responsibilities. The weight of these pressures often affects her daily routine and mental well-being, as she feels compelled to meet the high expectations set by those around her. This constant pressure can be overwhelming, leading to moments of stress and self-doubt as she navigates her responsibilities.
Setbacks and disappointments are part of her journey, and Arabela describes how she handles these challenges with a sense of resilience. When faced with failure, whether in academics or personal projects, she takes time to reflect on what went wrong and adjusts her plans for the future. This ability to revise her approach demonstrates her developing capacity to learn from experiences, adapt, and move forward despite obstacles.
Despite these challenges, Arabela finds pride and satisfaction in her accomplishments. One of her most notable achievements came during her Grade 11 first quarter, where she excelled academically and earned the title of top student in her class. This recognition not only boosted her self-esteem but also served as a reminder of her capabilities amidst the pressures she faces.
However, when asking about her feeling being in her stage, she stated that sheâs feeling confused with her life events and choices. Reflecting on her adolescent journey, Arabela acknowledges that this period is filled with confusion and significant changes. She often feels as though she is falling behind in certain aspects of her life, grappling with the complexities of growing up. These feelings are common for adolescents âErik Erikson Identity role vs Identity Confusionâ, this add another layer of challenge to her experience. Nevertheless, Arabela strives to find her footing, learning valuable lessons about resilience and self-acceptance along the way.
Arabela feels that her family's influence on her choices and values is significant, especially as she strives for greater autonomy. However, her parents have expressed doubts about her talents, often telling her she lacks the skills needed to pursue certain interests. This feedback has led her to question her abilities and has made her cautious in exploring new opportunities.
While she values her family's support, their skepticism sometimes creates tension as she seeks to assert her independence. Arabela is learning to navigate this dynamic by reflecting on her own strengths and interests, ultimately aiming to carve out a path that resonates with her identity, despite her family's reservations.
Furthermore, Arabela expresses feelings of confusion during this stage of her life, recognizing that she is maturing and capable of making decisions similar to her friends. However, she also acknowledges that she still possesses a sense of innocence, which adds to her internal conflict. This duality makes her feel uncertain about her choices as she navigates the complexities of adolescence.
As she strives to carve out her own path, the pressure to conform to the expectations of her peers and the realization of her own evolving identity contribute to her confusion. Arabela is in a process of self-discovery, trying to balance her youthful innocence with the responsibilities and expectations that come with growing up, leaving her feeling both empowered and bewildered.
Ultimately, her journey is a testament to the complexities of growing up, as she learns to balance her achievements with the inevitable challenges, forging her path toward self-discovery and personal growth.
During our hour-long conversation, Arabela came across as genuine, cute, and simple. We appreciated her wit, kindness, and friendly demeanor, which made the discussion feel comfortable and open. As she navigates the border between adolescence and adulthood, grappling with her identity and the pressures of growing up, we hope she finds her true path. This transitional phase is filled with confusion and uncertainty, but her authenticity shines through.Â
Ultimately, the border of adolescence is a powerful catalyst for transformation. It challenges young individuals to reflect on their aspirations and fears, pushing them to carve out their own paths. For Arabela, and many others like her, this journey is an opportunity to embrace their uniqueness, learn from setbacks, and emerge with a clearer vision of who they are and who they want to become. As they navigate this complex terrain, the hope is that they will find the courage to embrace their true selves and step confidently into adulthood.
âAdolescence is a period of great vulnerability and confusion.â â Louise J. Kaplan âand Adolescence is a time when young people are trying to find their place in the world, and that can be incredibly difficult.â â Mary Pipher
But remember!
âEvery man is the architect of his own fortune.â â Appius and âItâs what no one knows about you that allows you to know yourself.â â Don Delillo













