#datingconfessions

Every now and then there's that recognition when pursuing potentials of someone you've met in real life. This was the case with Jack. Jack was someone who I sold clothes to when working in a unisex clothing store, I have a very good memory when it comes to faces and recalled he was a contemporary dancer but back when I met him had a partner and young child in tow. Huh. I always found him to be very attractive so I was curious to see if we matched or not and..... Yes, the matching gods were indeed smiling down on me. I still decide to play coy, thinking I'll see if he makes the first move in starting a conversation with me and.... Yes, he promptly started messaging me. Huh. Because I'm big on transparency, I fessed up that we had already met in real life, saying where I had met him, recalling he liked these particular type of pants. He remarked that that's why I looked familiar. Now of course the test is to see if he wants to pursue this interaction with me further and.... Yes it would seem so, with him twisting my arm to get a late night drink with him and come on an adventure. He definitely appealed to both my love on spontaneity and surprise so as freezing as it was outside, I climbed out of bed and changed out of my robe into some warm clothes. We met just before 1am at this local lovingly kept dive bar. Upon seeing me, I felt his gaze hungrily take me in. We chit chat and catch up with what’s going on in our lives and he tells me he split from his ex a few months ago and now navigating this new phase of his life. We only had another 15 minutes before the bar would close so we opted to have a scotch (good man) and then a slow song came on that he insisted we dance to... Slow dancing in a dive bar... 10 points for romance... I definitely felt him pull me in a little more as we danced, so this along with his welcoming gaze told me that he was enjoying the time with me... 

In no time it was closing hour and both of us enjoying the conversation thus far, he said to me "I have a car, would you like to sit in it?" Hahaha sure... I knew him and trusted him and wanted to see what this adventure entailed. Plus the conversation was creatively stimulating so.... Yes. As he drove his hand found mine, him saying to me "it's really important to me that you don't feel uncomfortable so if at any time you do I'm really happy to drop you home." This only led to piquing my curiosity further... As we're en route, he started putting music on that he enjoyed, with me suggesting we take turns putting pieces on, each of us appreciating the choices of the other. Pulling up to a spot by the yarra, it is indeed a full moon, him asking me to take a stroll with him to view it. We braved the chill and went up to a platform together taking in the night view in the cold fresh air. Instinctively I felt his presence behind me, a precursor to his hands working up my the back of my thighs and his mouth on the back of my neck, leaning back into him to coax Jack to continue. “I’m enjoying discovering your body..” I hear him murmur and it’s very mutual, I know he’s fit and muscular under all those layers. I spin around to face him and his mouth crushes mine, it’s intoxicating under the moonlight “you’re very good at that” Jack says to me, I simply smile and continue kissing him as my response. With the chill getting the better of us, we head back to the warmth of the car, him holding my hand as we make our way back. 

Finally in the warmth of the car we pick up where we left off, with me kissing him as he reclines his seat back. “Why do I have a strong urge to spank you? Should I?” I laugh a little at that, I seem to be emitting some serious sub vibes which I’m enjoying exploring so I reply “I think you should.” feeling the light impact of his hand immediately against my butt. I laugh and it only urges him to spank me again, a little more forcefully this time. I notice his mood changes to more of a serious sensual tone as he whispers to me “Lie back, open your coat...” his hands moving across my breasts and making their way down south. Jack starts teasing me with his mouth while his hand continues to tease my crotch. “Spread your legs... wider....” I comply and savour the sensations he’s causing in me. He then informs me “You’re to tell me when you’re close... you’re not to come until I say so ok?” I nod, enjoying that he’s responsible for my pleasure. 

Over the next two hours, Jack holds me on the edge, stopping when I tell him I’m close, it’s a delicious tease that just goes on and on, him commanding me in between to go down on him while he continues to tease me. While being in the small space that is his car is a turn on, we finally decide to go back to mine, him commanding me to continue going down on him for most of the drive back. Once at mine, his teasing continues and then finally after what feels like an eternity he allows me to climax. The contradiction of Jack is that while he’s very much a dom, he’s also a very warm affectionate guy, him stroking my hair and holding me afterwards. I ask him “Are you always this way?” he replies “no, and not for a very long time, you bring something out in me.” I find this quite fascinating as it’s something that I have heard before. 

So when we last left, the dating gods had decided to make it rain with two lovely dates: Lovely Boy and Lovely Man (you can catch up here). 

After a steamy late night make out session with lovely man on our first date, I was looking forward to our follow up date, a drink out with dinner at mine. What struck me with lovely man was how affectionate he was, immediately putting his hand on the small of my back as we walked to the bar for a drink, both being fans of a whiskey cocktail. Post cocktail, lovely man grabbing a nice bottle of red to match a bolognaise that I was cooking for an entire day, (served with lashings of parmesan naturally) making a cute little dig at me, commenting “would you like some bolognaise with your parmesan?”. The delicious dinner was matched by food for thought conversation, with me enjoying the complexity of lovely man’s mind. I suggested after dinner that we sojourn to a more comfortable part of my abode, which as it turns out is my bedroom due to my bohemian living set up. 

For a little while the talk continued, however it was clear we were both very keen to pick up with from the end of our last date, now that the constraints of making out in a car were no longer limitations... It was just as good if not better now that we both had free reign, with both of us knowing where the evening would inevitably lead.. True to his word, lovely man was intent on teasing me with his touch: his hands, his mouth, telling me to tell him what I liked as he made his way south... It was a very passionate experience with him kissing almost every inch of me, when I asked if I could do something for him, he simply said “no” and continued languidly.. 

Our evening was one of talk and passion and it’s an overall very good starting point, both of us basking in the company of one another and finding more things out about our pasts, with me sharing the good and the bad, him commenting that some men will always be boys... Talking to such a level headed pragmatic man, he just became more attractive to me... I confessed he was the first solo dad I had ever dated and asked how that generally works, to which he said “I’m not looking for someone for my kids, I’m looking for someone for me. Generally there’s no set road map but if something is going to be longer than 6 months then yes, I’ll introduce that person to my kids, but it’s important that I show them stable relationships and not just fleeting ones.” Everything seems so very transparent, so well thought out and considered and it just makes me respect him even more for balancing all the aspects of his life. We both realise that somehow it’s 4:30am, tomorrow might just hurt from a sleep deficit.. just a bit... 

Lovely man reluctantly departs and tells me to message him when I wake up. I wake up at the late hour of 10:30 and touch base, with him confiding that he still hasn’t showered and slept through to 9am, dropping the kids late to school, oh I have a touch of the guilty feels knowing that.. He then makes a date a coffee date for wed, 2 days later and yes, I do feel like I’m dating a man, one that is self assured and completely honest. Huh. 

I was fresh off the terrible date with Intensivo when I was invited that same night by a friend to have a drink out. Fresh from deleting dating apps, I felt exhilarated, like I was taking back control, taking back my time and my energy. Finding a balance and choosing the balance that I wanted, yes, this was what being single was all about!   It's getting quite late and the venue is starting to empty out, when this tall, tanned man appears beside us wearing this charismatic smile and says "ladies my friends have just left, would I be able to finish my beer in your company?" He definitely has a fresh out of Nimbin, salt of the earth type vibe and seems like a genuinely decent guy. So I take the lead and say "sure!" He pulls up a chair and says "hi! People call me cosmic Dan!" So now I'm looking at him thinking ok, so he's a bit of an older tripper dude, that's alright and then right on cue he defies the stereotype. 

He starts saying how he's managing three businesses, the first as a drug and alcohol counsellor, the second making natural remedies from pine pollen for masculine virility and then the third as a porn addiction counsellor. Well then... I ask him what he does as a porn addiction counsellor, he says "I teach men who to disengage from technology and to reconnect with their women with how to really make love." I think at this point my jaw might have dropped, I mean sure, he absolutely wasn't my usual type but god damn, I was intrigued.... We go outside for one of his organic cigarettes and there's definitely some chemistry accumulating between us. I can tell my friend is too spun out by him and that's ok, she's decided she's going to call it a night so it's just me and cosmic Dan. Cosmic Dan tells me he's staying at his brothers house while his brother is out of town and asks me would I like to go back there and smoke some marijuana with him. Why yes cosmic Dan, I would like that very much... 

I’m starting to get some deja vu vibes, in the way that his energy is very similar to the juggling french canadian, well then, this could indeed be a very interesting night.     

There’s a lot of very interesting conversation that goes down well with his special blend of joints that he’s rolling with the addition of some very delicious cocktails that he keeps concocting. It’s actually a surprisingly mentally stimulating evening and I’m enjoying seeing things through a very different set of eyes.  Part of me keeps waiting for him to make his move, I mean we are sitting right next to each other and being incredibly self aware I encourage things to happen by leaning into him bit by bit, yet... nada. It’s at this point where it’s probably 5am that I make peace with that it may simply be an evening with someone who is very different that challenges me to see things in a different way. Again, I am completely accepting of this. 

We then discover we’re both ridiculously hungry and he whips up this amazing noodle dish and how on earth did it become 6am???? Cosmic Dan says he’s going to crash and asks if I want to crash alongside him, I decide yes and know that the normal flow doesn’t really apply in this situation so to just be accepting of the evening. 

We crawl into bed and it’s just him holding me, that’s it. There’s sleep for maybe an hour or so and then....something shifts. There’s very much an energy that has been between us all night and now in the early hours of the morning that energy changes to something more intimate, it starts with us pulling closer into one another and soft constant touch that builds intensity. 

What happens next spans four hours, he’s all about the giving and I’m not sure if it’s all the booze and his special blend joints, but I swear I look up at him at one point and he’s like some sexual swarmi guru, his face one of complete elation and abandon. We don’t have sex, but yet he’s fixated on giving to me over and over again, all the touch basically melts into each other, it’s practically tantric. 

I had discovered one of my favourite dating platforms: OkCupid.  It was on here that I was enjoying an open onslaught of dudes, some just for Mr. right now but also others as potential Mr’ Rights...

I came upon this very dashing guy who was practically a double for Jon Hamm, honestly please show me a woman who doesn’t have a thing for Hamm and I will call her a liar...  He was from the US and was in the media and claimed he came over to see a woman he had been pen palling with on that dating platform but said that things went pear shaped as she didn’t seem to be who she claimed she was...

In our messages, he seemed very personable, charming and definitely was a man who knew what he was about, oh so damn attractive...

Our date started with a game of tennis, there’s nothing quite like seeing one another exert in a competitive field to get a feel of one another’s energies... From there we went out to lunch and then decided to rendezvous to mine for, a “movie”....

There was a definite chemistry between us and the conversation was flowing nicely, he was incredibly charismatic, had a larger than life personality and knew how to sweep a girl off her feet...and into the sheets.  Our competitive spirit lent itself nicely to a power play of sorts, an extension of the taunt of the tennis court, with him ultimately winning the game of dominance.  

He was very complimentary yet there was one thing that was starting to rear his head: for such a cock sure guy, any reference to another man seemed to send him into a sort of jealous rant, even going so far to say to me that he didn’t want to hear me talk about any other guy. But hey, he looked like Jon Hamm, was a complete charismatic charmer and good between the sheets so I was willing to make some allowances.

It was only that evening that I mentioned something about liking a characteristic of a fictional character, Indiana Jones, that I discovered what sort of dude I was dealing with.  It was the very next day when we were meant to spend some time together, that morning I received some very harsh messages from him.  The seemingly charismatic (albeit insecure) charmer had turned into a scathing viper, berating me for not listening to his wishes with referencing other men.  I was incredulous, the only other time I referenced another dude was talking about Indiana Jones, uhhhh wow, he was threatened by a fictional film character????? He accused me of being insensitive to his wishes, how dare I keep talking about other men in front of him, I tried to make light of it “ahhhh is this about Indiana Jones? Oh come on I was just giving you a cheeky insight into traits I find attractive in men ;-)” but I was only met with silence.