I've never had to deal with this before, outside of seventh grade when this guy had a crush on me and he was in my circle of friends... and it was just awkward and weird because I didn't like him.
But, I'm dealing with a guy who has a crush on me at work, and I have no idea what in the world is going on.
I don't ever have guys have crushes on me. Now I'm dating someone (and introducing him to my mom next weekend), and this other guy has a crush on me.
I feel like I fell into a bad Twilight-like story.
I mean, I really (really-if the dreams I have about him are any sign) like the guy I'm seeing. He's kind. He listens. He is incredibly sweet, and he's patient. We tried to put together a puzzle yesterday, if that shows how patient he is.
And I really like it when he kisses me (and I'm not the one to initiate it).
But this guy at work... I don't even...
He's got an obvious crush on me. I mean, I try not to do anything to encourage it, but to be kind when he's around, and to acknowledge that he does have feelings so I don't talk about my dates with him.
He follows me around a lot. He wants to go where I'm going. He tries to talk to me quite often. He tries to fix things for me, without me asking him too, and that's where it really becomes a problem for me.
I'm one of those strong, independent type of women. I've never needed a man to fix anything. Ever. I handle my shit, and have a very organized life. When I have conflicts, I handle them quickly, and as respectfully as possible, and when it's a conflict with another guy, I don't need a man to handle it.
He wants to fix things for me. And I know it's part of this culturally accepted script that men rescue women, but I don't need that. I don't want that. It's everywhere. In the movies we watch (Twilight, most super hero movies, romance movies), in the books we read (50 shades of suck), in the background of our parents...
I don't need to be saved from my life. I had a fucked up life until this point. Bad shit has happened to me for as long as I can remember, and never have I once asked for anyone to rescue me from it. I dealt with it on my own. In that regard, I am the strongest woman you will ever meet, but you will never know that.
He told me on Friday that he talked with a guy who is the same nationality as my landlord, and that he told him that I was having trouble communicating with my landlord, and asked if he would be willing to speak to my landlord on my behalf.
I was angry about that. I know he was trying to help me, but I hadn't even had the opportunity to really speak with my landlord myself. I had texted him a couple times, but that was as far as the conversation had gone. And I had told the guy at work that my landlord was bothering me, but I didn't expect anything to be done about it. Immediately, he jumped into legalese (his background is business), what I could do to not have to do as my landlord says, and how he could fix it for me. I kept saying that I'm going to try to fix it myself, but thanks for the advice.
And he kept on it. And it led to the conversation Friday.
I was on my way to a meeting when he sprung this on me, so I quickly had to tell him something...
so I said, "I appreciate the fact that you want to help. I really do, but I can handle things on my own, and if I need to speak with someone, I will do it myself. But thank you for thinking of me, and trying to help."
My good friend was there for that conversation, and we talked about it tonight (which led to me writing this down). She said I handled the situation really well, and that she couldn't believe that he had taken it upon himself to fix things for me.
And we talked a lot about the American culture, and the scripts that are played when we like someone, and how my coworker is just acting on a culturally approved script that I don't follow, which is where the problem is originating.
I never expected to have a guy try to prove his love to me like this. Really, it feels like a bad date movie.
