#date deposit

Not many people knew I was going to do this. I wasn’t sure how people would take it... and to be super honest with you, I was scared to admit that my dating life was shit. I was scared to admit that I had to do something drastic to get people to give a shit about my time. Who wants to admit that they’ve gotten bailed on consecutive times? I had taken a break from the dating apps for months and met people in real life and they still fucked me over.

While I was at work I had admitted to my girlfriend what I was doing, who immediately ran and told the 2 closest groups of regulars, all men. One married, one dating, one single, and one dating a much younger woman.

The guys made fun of me. They looked at me like I was crazy for asking for $10 for a date, and said I should be asking for $50-100... I wasn’t valuing my time or myself at $10, that’s the point they all missed. I chose a safe amount where if my date didn’t show up it, it wasn’t a lot of money lost on their end. That’s a beer and tip for me. Or a bottle of Trader Joe’s finest. Also it was just enough to be able to buy some goofy shit in case they chose the surprise.

There were also 2 very young guys sitting at the bar, and they said they would easily Venmo me $10 to see what happened. That day I was 2-4. My odds were against me but I already had one daring individual who had sent me $10 within a minute of my explaining it to him. 

I talked it over with my girlfriend who does my hair. She’s heard my dating nightmares for the past 3 years and she thought it was genius. Accountability was the objective. Mind you I wasn’t doing this with every guy that asked me out, I was selective because I wasn’t sure how people would taking it given my odds at the bar and the guys telling me this was a load of horse shit.

So where does that leave us now?

While I was getting my hair done (#teamblondeasian) we put our money where our mouth was... Err rather we made a guy put his money where his mouth was. We sat there while she built a fortress of foil in my hair, and 5 minutes later we received a lovely payment of $10 from our second dater.

I should have probably said this in the beginning, and if it isn’t clear by now I’m not doing this to screw anyone over. I say this all lightheartedly. I’m not doing this because I want money. I’m doing this because I’m just a girl in LA tired of this whole dating rigamarole. I think it’s funny (my hairdresser’s bf confirmed that he thinks its hilarious, he would be in and that he wants the cup in Surprise Bag #1) and sorta a fun story to tell. Remember the girl who wrote that a guy should Venmo her $5 and see what happens? She probably bought herself all the pizza in the world and maybe nobody benefitted from it but her.

Dating is the worst. The world we live in now, everyone is flakey and they don’t know how to commit to many things. It’s unfortunate but we gotta roll with the punches right?

One morning at 4:30am I woke up to my girlfriend complaining about a guy who said he would hang out, then finally confessed that he was going to pick up his “aunt” at work at 7:45pm. They were supposed to meet at 8pm. Maybe he figured out a way to teleport or something, but there was no way in hell homeboy was gonna pick up his aunt, take her home, AND drive to West Hollywood in 15 minutes. She was over it and sadly disappointed, like most of us have been after getting excited about someone new, and I was over dealing with this bullshit.

Within 2 weeks, 3 separate guys had also bailed on me. Sean was sick. Ryan got stuck with work (TWICE - ugh why was I so forgiving). Nick had the Kettle One “Flu” apparently until 3:30pm on Sunday. Over it, I was DONE with this nonsense.

Amidst my delusion (mostly fueled by anger and lack of sleep), I thought that a date should require a deposit, via Venmo. What if, just like reservations for large parties at restaurants that occupy space, time, and effort, person A was to throw down money to show good faith? After all, I work 2 jobs, and I paint, and my time is valuable, just like theirs. If they bailed then all they missed out on was $10, it’s mine now sucka. If they showed up on the date, I would bring them the $10... BUT being the goofy person that I am, I randomly decided that I would give them the option of choosing a surprise if they decided they didn’t want the $10. I am the queen of gift giving so I set out to find some funny things as consolations if they didn’t like the date, or if they just wanted the surprise... Also needed to find things that would fit in my purse in case I was stuck lugging it home!

If in fact they let me keep the money, it would go towards art supplies to help fuel my passion for designing unique, custom inspirational skateboard art. Everyone wins. Did I feel bad about taking their money? Ah, not really. It ultimately is up to the guy to decide how he wants to spend his money. I’m just a vessel for the unknown ending of that $10. Don’t hate the player guys.