#datdickdoe

Oh tumblr... my little virtual semi-public diary...

Dudes...

It's got to be me at this point, right? Why it isn't working, right?

Or is it the fact that he let me walk the streets alone at night in down town phoenix because i had to go back to the restaurant for my phone and he didn't want to miss the show?

Or because it was only the second time we got drinks that things got physical?

Or that after that g-lor-i-ous start he initiated, things dramatically fizzled because he was, excuse after excuse, tired, exhausted, or busy with this or that, or blah even though he swore he was interested.

My favorite was when he justified a no for the sake of "discipline". 

Or could it be because he progressively wouldn't shut up about his previous flings?

Or perhaps the fact he deliberately postponed plans, even back to back nights?

Or insisted on going-out and splitting 50/50, despite my extended unemployment?

I mean, I know I come on strong, and I don't do well with casual sex. I warned him from the beginning. I also know I'm fine with taking the back seat for most things and my schedule is wide open thus pretty seemingly accommodating right now. but fuck you if you think you can blow me off and think i wont care. and fuck you for keeping tabs on how much i owe you. and fuck you for not keeping those tabs correctly. and fuck you for inviting me out for drinks then to come over and then giving me dissent for wanting to sleep over after ive already done it a few times. and fuck you for letting me cross your lines if you werent ready for that. and fuck you for holding that against me. fuck you and your mixed signals. fuck you for leading me on. and fuck you for telling me how you waited for me. fuck you for pushing me away but not doing me the courtesy of just saying fuck off like you will in the end, like what you've done before to these women. fuck you for saying "I didn't mean to", "I didn't mean that", or apologizing after I already complain. and fuck you for not realizing how upset i am when I know im a pretty fucking open book. fuck you man.