#dash:will

Thank you for ensuring that I never have suitors ever. Not that I had any before, but honestly, my family potentially harming my significant other is still a deal-breaker, from the other end. If someone’s trying to hurt my family though, they deserve what’s coming to them, especially if what’s coming to them is an ultra intimidating and powerful five-time archery champion.

You’re welcome for ensuring that no one who doesn’t deserve you ever, ever wastes your time. I mean, I happen to know a guy or two who would absolutely not be scared of me trying to beat them up, just saying. Or who would totally just stand there and let me beat them up, as long as you patched them up at the end or did something gross like kiss it better. That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Maybe I’ll stop at five; five’s the charm, then pass it to Charlie like Law did with me. Even though I completely would have beat him anyway. He bowed out before I could embarrass him, but I’ll let him think he was just being a nice older brother.

@willofnottingham:

I’m confused. Since when are Mary Kate and Cassie singing a duet for the Westival? Are you sure that’s accurate information? I thought Cassie didn’t sing in front of non-animals anymore.

Uh... Since yesterday? I guess she changed her mind.

And it’s not my fault I have the gene pool that I do! What’s more, there are lots of hot people that don’t share genetics with me around these parts! Don’t make our beautiful bro-thing weird by becoming my cousin!

Wow, it’s like you don’t want to be stuck with me forever or something, should I be hurt?

Neither! I’d never block you on social media, you’re my family. And I couldn’t block you from Blake even if I wanted to….although I could pass a law that I’m the only person in Nottingham allowed to be his friend, but that seems a bit extreme. What I meant was that you’re blocked from my heart as penalty for wounding it deeply.

That law also seems super subjective. How could you prove we were friends or not? We could be two people who spent time together who didn’t even like each other at all, without magic it’s impossible to know what’s in our hearts. Awww, you’re such a sad little person sometimes. But I’m sure I’ll find a way back into your heart in no time.

I’m not hung up on it being a blood relative, so that makes this easier, thank goodness. You know how much I love MK but can you imagine her having to take that long of a hiatus on her life for a baby that’s not even hers? Who’s on your list then? I’m sure we’ve got a few in common on there.

 I can’t even imagine her doing it for a baby that is hers, dude! For one that’s ours? For sure no, it would pop out like 3 months early while she was jumping off a cliff or something. Cassie, Mackenna, RiRi, Fairy God Jane, Jane Kensington... I’ve got some more, but I wanna hear yours. 

@willofnottingham:

I said one thing about myself, and it’s hardly terrinle! Love potion made everyone creepy, I’m just sorry it made me scare a young good chap is all. You’re so lucky you didn’t eat the cheesecake, Leilani. Feeling yourself being creepy and being unable to stop it because it seems unbearably romantic is gross.

I’m sure he wasn’t nearly so scared as you think he was! While it was all a little weird in the moment, I think everyone kind of decided to forget about it the second the truth came out about what had happened. After all, I know I don’t hold Duke accountable for his day-long interest in me. I don’t know, I think I would have rather been manic and out of control than sulky watching everyone else seem so happy. I’m the one who actually has behavior to be ashamed of afterwards.

Private: I’m not “freaking out”! You think this is “freaking out”? This is not “freaking out”. I’m not trying to impress anybody - if I were, you’d be the first to know. I just… I was planning on spending the whole night with you anyway so why play along with the people who think weird wrong things about it? Why feed the trolls? Now somebody’s going to think it’s true and it’ll get in the way of your inevitable body-shots fun and it’ll lead to people assuming things and I don’t know why you don’t see that that’s a problem!

Private: Okay, first of all, bro dates are a thing, it’s not like I’m jumping up on a table and yelling to a room full of people that I’m in love with you or something. And even if I was, since when do you hate gay people so much? We’re going to a gay wedding, dude, in case you missed the memo. But whatever, I asked your cousin, so you can calm down, asshole. Nobody’s going to think anything now that I’m hanging out with Mary Kate all night instead of you. No more wedding wingman for you.

Not to encourage sibling fighting, but the next time she claims you’re too not grounded in reality, you could remind her that you’re not the one continually running away to Wonderland. Check and mate.

An excellent point, Prince Will! I thought perhaps it was maybe just in my imagination that she’d been spending all her time there, or that I was assuming too much by thinking every time she was gone she was there, but if even you’ve had the time to notice then it must be true.