#dash:andy

I never thought of it because he’s your brother! He’s been, like, sexually neutralized to me,since I was but a baby. And we’re already such sisters that I just! Never! Realized! It could happen for real! MK, are we about to go all matchmaker on this bitch????!

Okay, well, we’re beyond old enough now for him to be fair game, so if you want to go for it, then full steam ahead! We’re totally going all matchmaker on this bitch, if Law can expose EVERY CRUSH I’VE EVER HAD and use the word squishy even after Squishygate2K18, then he can go on like, one little date with you, it’s only fair.

Oh yuck, you just meant our family? Boring! Family is supposed to be obsessed with you, that doesn’t count.

You’re like, the fave. The only good part about it is that I know you don’t like all of them as much as they like you so they’re just like, sad losers.

You say you would have, BUT DID YOU?!

Blake was just in the right place at the right time! I demand a redo!

I’M TRYING TO GET A TASTE! A TASTE OF ROBBIE!

Just kidding. Mostly. Don’t worry so much, dude. It’s mistletoe!

I WAS LESS WORRIED BEFORE YOU SAID THE TASTING THING!!! It’s like you want me to lose my appetite and be too ill to ever drink wine with you again!

THAT’S FAIR, WILL AND I CAN SHARE YOU. HE CAN HAVE YOU TILL HE DIES TRAGICALLY YOUNG AND I’LL HAVE YOU AFTERWARDS, WORKS OUT FOR ME! Especially since I’ll probably most definitely be single whenever it is we have to throw the best funeral ever for Will.

YOU HAVE TO KEEP ME FROM DYING FROM A BROKEN HEART THoUGH ANDREA, OTHERWISE I MIGHT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CROAKS REALLY SOON AFTER HE GOES! Sounds fake feels fake! You’re the coolest girl that there is, everyone else is just too lame to deserve you.

Wow, denying the world of true-wine-aunt-Andy because you don’t wanna share your womb is cold as ice, Alicia, cold. As. Ice. Just for that, I’m not telling you any of the sick baby name ideas I have for potential niblings.

Is it really being stingy if I’m totally lacking in the ‘people who want to put babies in my womb’ department? You can wait a few years! Put your hopes in Mel! Or maybe Ripley, she seems like the type to go start a family in the middle of college. And since I pointed you in the right direction, now I should get to hear the names, please.

@andreatriton:

Private: I’M ACTUALLY SUPER CHILL BUT OKAY. I ship Noa with MK, though, get on board the Noakate train or I’m leaving you behind!

Wow, what the fuck? I literally thought you were lying when you said I miss things that are super obvious but WERE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH?

I never heard that - I did hear when I came out as bi that we broke up because I was gay, though. How the tables have turned.

For real? That’s lame, why do you have to be gay to not like me? I know I’m pretty loveable, but come on people, it’s not impossible.