Writing Practice #2 - The Contract
Had this idea in my head for a while, had to get it out before I lost it.
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Right in front of me, that person appeared. Or at least something human-shaped. At first it looked a bit like their legs had become a fine mist, obstructing their torso and giving the optical illusion of a lack of legs. Whoever this guy is, I thought, is really good at being an illusionist. I guess palming cards on the street when presenting a three-card monte would have been too easy for the guy, but to pull something this obviously stupid?
"So let me get this straight: You're a genie, or something?"
The person grinned and the mist cloud separated into an inverted u-shape, and then into legs. This was clearly to just perform an over-exaggerated bow, almost bending directly in half. He gave off a silent nod and grinned with triangular, carnivorously imposing teeth.
"And I suppose you have rules you need to follow? Like, no wishing for more than the number of wishes I'm allowed and shit like that?"
Another nod. Is this guy fucking with me? Fine, you little shit, let's see you pull this out of your ha
He held up three fingers, and grinned again. His eyes gleamed gold. No irises, no pupils, just solid gold orbs rested in those ebony sockets. And I do mean ebony in the most literal sense. Head to toe, the guy was like a three-dimensional silouette under a freakishly expensive suit. So what, is that the number of
"Actually, you only get two wishes. THIS is the number you were about to think about to prove my ability. Granted precognition and mind-reading are within my repartee, but they certainly don't prove I can grant wishes, hmm? ...Oh, and you were going to change your number to 3.141562957... you actually memorized up to nine decimals of pi? That's... decently amusing, though the next number would have been four... still. Maybe you won't waste this opportunity."
I was stunned. I know I shouldn't have been, though. He probably was just targeting me for an insane amount of time to con me. But... I'm dirt poor, why con me? Debt... he's trying to get me into more credit card debt or something, right? "Waste it?" I decided to play along for a bit longer.
"Yes, waaaaste it!" In a blink he was gone, and all I could do was look around rapidly in the room to find him... but come to think of it, I was in my room. and my room was red wallpaper, not green. And it had a bed. And a book case... and... well, THIS room was stark empty. I found myself partially hyperventilating as he continued.
"You would not BELIEVE how many of you monkeys wish for something fucking AMAZING (according to your own opinions). And you end up messing it up because you never really know what you want, or how it will affect you in the long run. Get this: One guy wasted one of his wishes proving I was the real deal by wishing that he could fly without wings. You know, like superheroes. Testing it was pretty easy, but... well, there isn't a lot of air at higher altitudes. Long story short," I blinked again, and those golden orbs were millimeters away from my face. "he didn't use his second wish."
I was so shocked I fell back on my ass. But to be honest... I've read a lot about these situations in fantasy books, so I kind of knew part of what to expect. What to expect... of course. If I knew EXACTLY what to expect, I could wish for EXACTLY what I want; I wouldn't NEED a second wish! Or I would, but only to set up the real wish I wanted. But how to do it...
"I can wish for anything, then?"
"Suuuuuure can, boy-o!"
I could feel him sitting on my head. Not in the sense of weight, but that I could feel his butt cheeks firmly pressed against my scalp. I still had the sense that this was all bull, but from a guy just appearing out of nowhere after I went to some website, and my entire room being emptied in the blink of an eye without misdirection or anything of that nature? I had to prepare for the worst: that it was real.
"Even if I wished to change the rules you follow?"
"PFFFFFF, NO! You can't change them, moron! It's not like--"
"Okay, what if I could ADD more rules?"
"...what."
"What if I wrote up a list of additional rules you had to obey, along with what you already had?"
"...uhhh, WHY? I think the whole 'no wishing for wishes, no resurrection, no screwing with human emotions, no immortality and/or longevity altering' thing would be all in your favor."
I looked up at him. "I'm not completely stupid, here. If I wish for 'a million bucks,' you just crush me under a massive heard of deer. If I wish for 'a million dollars,' you'd steal it from somewhere else and I'd be on the lam for it. If I wished for money I could get away with, then it'd most likely be fake money, or money from a different country I couldn't get converted into a decent amount of American Dollars."
"So... you want a lot of money, then? Is that your wish?"
"No, it's an example if how you'd screw me over." I stood up, and pointed directly at him. "One month."
"You... wish for an extra month of life? Sorry, even if it's that little--"
"One month to complete the contract."
"...contract."
"Yes. My first wish will be for you to obey the contract I will complete in one month's time. This is not just about wishes; it is also going to be a life-bound business transaction. If either side screws over the other or one side is unsatisfied with the events that transpire as a result of the granted wishes, both parties will die. In this case, you and me."
"W-w-wait, you can't wish to kill me! I-I-I-"
"So I CAN wish for you to die? Cool, but that's not the point of the contract. The point is to make sure neither of us screws over the other in any way, shape, or form. Like, no altering my current life standing to change how I feel about a certain wish and crap like that. IF anything, this is in YOUR favor, too; I can add in a mention that I can't wish for you to die. That'd be fair, right?"
"...how cute. the little human thinks he can pull one over on me."
"So you don't mind if I wished that you would obey each and every one of my orders without question or any form of misinterpretation, even if they break the rules of your self-imposed contract? Voila, infinite wishes and no repercussions."
His eyes grew wide at that. Then they began to twitch. Next thing I knew, the entire room was pitch black and the walls to my left and right became giant eyes.
"Don't. Fuck with me, human. I am granting your wishes out of the kindness of my FUCKING HEART, and you have the NERVE to claim I would up tricking you into wishing for things that would grant you an unfortunate fate?" I may have been floating at that point, I can't remember correctly, but I did feel the air shake and get hotter as he continued... it was sweltering, like I was being broiled alive. "I may be a Djinn, but this ain't the fucking Wishmaster movies, you little pissant monkey infant. This is the real. FUCKING. Deal. And there isn't a magical little rock with a fuckton of corridors to run through to 'hurr de durr outwit me.' You don't like this, then wish that we never met. Until then, how your wishes are granted are at the mercy of my fucking whims, and I REALLY don't think you should piss me off any more than you already have."
"...and THAT is going into article one: 'The Djinn, hereafter known as the Granter, must remain at worst, emotionally impartial, and at best, emotionally supportive to the one whom has wishes to be granted (hereafter known as the Requester), when the emotional status of the Granter effects the resulting granted wish negatively altering the Quality of Life of the Requester.'"
"...fine. You wanna play lawyer. You know what, you little monkey? DO it. But if I don't like your little 'kaaaahn-TRAAAAAACT'... I'll fucking kill you right here."
"Then I better get started. One month, remember?"
I blinked again, and I was on my bed, soaked with sweat. Not going to lie, I think I started to cry, too. Tears aside, it was pretty hard to miss that the wall of my room had a giant clock on it. A clock I didn't have before. Right below the radial center was a numerical counter. A counter that just hit twenty-nine.
