#dark pedro pascal

The filth of war never scrubbed off all the way; it clung to the General’s skin, underneath his nails and behind his ears. No matter how hard he rubbed.

That is what drove him to wander off, displeased at the way his men played nonchalantly down the river; a new battalion, certainly, young minds untainted by the horrors of war.

Oh he could envy them.

The flicker of innocence in their eyes, their bodies unmarked, their wish for greatness. Their ambition was about to be crushed, he knew that. And in a way, he lusted for it too.

The leaves crunched beneath his sandals, his armor weighting into aging, aching muscles and he followed the stream. A hand tensed around the hilt of his sword when he heard it, a sound that he hadn’t heard in a long time.

A faint giggle hidden behind the trees, the rustle of a heavy stream almost engulfing it. He felt his tired muscles scrunch into a frown, no one would dare to be in this place when the Roman army went by, so why was he hearing such innocent, bashful noises?

His steps became slower, agile as he rounded the tree. A simmering waterfall glistened under the sun, and at the place where the water met its fate, where it splashed white, you rose from the pool, giggling at the heavy stream.

He felt his mouth grow wet at the sight, momentarily relief casted over him as he took you in. How your hair dripped over your bare figure, how your skin, unscathed, basked in the pleasure of the steam, your eyes fluttering shut with delight, everything he could take.

How long had it been since he had been with a woman?

But you were far from that, you were an entity- perhaps a gift from the gods. For all his sacrifice, for all the blood he spilled for the sake of Ares.

Or was he being doomed to be another Actaeon?

Nevertheless, he felt something stir beneath his tunic, blurring every sense he could possibly have. A cough growled at his throat, and you finally casted your eyes on him with a small gasp.

Like a deer caught in the middle of a valley, unprotected and defenseless. His teeth almost bared at your distraught.

Acacius stood transfixed, his battle-weary eyes wide with wonder as he took in the breathtaking sight before him. You emerged from the shimmering waters, rivulets of water cascading down your nubile, unblemished skin. You were utterly, breathtakingly naked, your lithe body glistening in the dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy of leaves above.

He drank in every curve and contour, from the graceful arch of your neck to the gentle swell of your breasts, the rosy peaks still taut from the chill of the water. His gaze roamed lower, over the dip of your waist and the soft, rounded flare of your hips, the gentle curves of your thighs. Every inch of you was a testament to the unspoiled beauty of youth and innocence.

Marcus felt a stirring within his chest, a long-dormant sensation he had not felt in years. It was a mix of awe, admiration, and a flicker of something more primal, more carnal. He knew he should look away, should give you the privacy and respect you deserved, but he found himself rooted to the spot, unable to tear his eyes from the vision of loveliness before him.

You dared to ask, after carefully examining his stature; "Are you with the Roman Army?"

Marcus started slightly at the sound of your voice, having been so lost in admiration that he had momentarily forgotten himself. He looked down at his armor, the bronze and leather plates that had become a second skin to him over the years of service. The once-polished surface was now dulled and pitted, bearing the scars of countless battles and the unwashed filth of war.

He met your gaze, his eyes dark and haunted as he replied. "Aye, I am Marcus Acacius, a general in the service of Rome. I have led my men on many campaigns, fighting to expand the glory and influence of the empire."

He paused, a shadow of something akin to regret or perhaps sorrow flickering across his face. "But tell me, sweet maiden, what brings a creature of such rare beauty to a place such as this, so close to the path of an army on the march? Surely you know not the dangers that lurk in the shadows of war?"

His voice was low and gentle, but there was an undercurrent of something more, a hint of a warning. He could not help but feel a surge of protectiveness towards you, a desire to shield your innocence from the horrors he had witnessed and the darkness that clung to his own soul like a shroud.

"I live close," You mutter discreetly, cheeks tinting at the sweetness of his voice. "I think I will leave-"

Your body moves quickly, agile in youth, and you step into the grassy ground in search of your clothes. Marcus's eyes darkened as he watched you move to leave, a flicker of something primal and hungry sparking in their depths. The way your wet skin glistened in the dappled light as you stepped from the water, the gentle sway of your hips as you walked, ignited a long-denied urge within him. He felt a surge of possessiveness, a desire to claim and conquer the innocent beauty before him.

In a flash, he moved, his battle-hardened muscles propelling him forward with a speed that belied his aging frame. Before you could take more than a few steps, he was upon you, one calloused hand grasping your wrist in an iron grip. He pulled you back towards him, your naked body slamming against the cool, hard planes of his armored chest.

"Nay, sweet maiden," he growled, his voice low and rough with a newfound intensity. "You will not be leaving just yet. A rare prize such as yourself deserves to be savored, to be...appreciated by a man who knows how to handle a woman's charms."

His other hand, the one not holding your wrist, slid up the curve of your hip, his fingers splaying possessively over the soft, damp skin. He could feel you trembling against him, could sense the way your heart raced with a newfound fear. But there was something else there too, a flicker of something akin to excitement or anticipation, at least he choose to believe that. A brief respite for the atrocity he was wishing to partake in.

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against the shell of your ear as he murmured, "Stay with me, sweet one. Let me show you the pleasures and passions that a man like me can bring. I promise, I will make it a night you will never forget."

You struggled against his grip, your heart pounding wildly in your chest as a surge of panic clawed at your mind. You were no match for his strength and size, your slender frame a mere whisper against the hard, unyielding armor that encased him. As you looked up at his face, you could see the toll that war had taken on him, the deep lines etched into his skin and the haunted look in his eyes. Yet, beneath the weariness and the scars, you could still see the handsome man he must have been in his youth. Gods, that was still handsome as it was

His hand tightened around your wrist as he felt you struggle, his fingers digging into your soft flesh with a bruising force. You winced at the pain, your breath catching in your throat as you stared up at him with wide, frightened eyes. He leaned in closer, his pepper and salt beard tickling your cheek, the rough texture a stark contrast to the smoothness of your own skin.

You could see the scar that marred his cheekbone, a jagged line that ran from his temple down to his jawline. It was a testament to the battles he had fought, the enemies he had faced. And now, it seemed, you were to be his enemy too.

His eyes, dark and intense, bore into yours with a possessive, almost feral intensity. You could see the hunger there, the raw, primal desire that burned within him. And as you gazed into those eyes, you knew with a sickening certainty that you were in grave danger. With a swift motion, he spun you on the heels of your feet.

He pressed himself against your back, pinning you in place with his solid weight. His hand slid from your wrist to your shoulder, gripping it hard enough to leave bruises as he held you still. You could feel every contour of his armor, every hard plate and sharp edge, digging into your soft flesh.

His other hand, the one that had been pawing at your hip, slid up to your breast. He cupped the soft mound, his calloused palm roughly kneading your tender flesh. You gasped at the sudden contact, your body stiffening as he groped you. His fingers found your nipple, rolling and tugging at the sensitive peak until it hardened under his touch.

He groaned into your ear, his voice low and rough with lust. "What is it, sweet maiden? Have you never felt a man's touch before? Are you still untouched?"

His hips pressed forward, grinding his armored pelvis against your naked bottom. You could feel a hard bulge pressing against you, a sign of his growing arousal. Your eyes widened in shock and fear as the realization of his intentions sank in.

He chuckled darkly, his breath hot and heavy against your neck. "Do not worry, sweet one. I will show you the ways of a woman."

His hand on your shoulder slid down to your waist, gripping your hip with a bruising force as he pulled you harder against him. You could feel his heart pounding against your back, could sense the barely restrained power and hunger that radiated from his battle-hardened body.

You fought back, as hard as you could, but you were no challenge for the man behind you. Tears prodded at your eyes, sobs bubbling in your throat. Your struggles only seemed to fuel his lust, your futile resistance igniting a dark hunger within him. He grunted, tightening his grip on you as you fought against him, pinning you even more firmly against the unyielding armor encasing his powerful body.

"Shh, shh, little one," he growled, his voice a low, menacing rumble. "Struggle all you like, but it will change nothing. Your innocence will be mine, one way or another."

He punctuated his words by thrusting his hips forward, grinding the hard bulge of his arousal against the cleft of your bottom. You could feel the heat of him even through the layers of his armor and your own naked flesh, the promise of his desire burned into your skin.

His hand on your breast tightened, kneading and squeezing the soft globe roughly as he continued his assault. His fingers pinched and tugged at your nipple, sending jolts of unwanted pleasure-pain through your body. Tears spilled down your cheeks as the first sobs escaped your throat, your struggles growing weaker by the second.

He leaned in, his beard rasping against your cheek as he licked a hot, wet stripe up the column of your neck. You shuddered in revulsion, trying desperately to turn your face away from him. But he was too strong, holding you in place as he continued his relentless onslaught.

His other hand slid down from your hip, his fingers skimming over the curve of your bottom before dipping between your thighs. You gasped and tried to clench your legs together, but he forced them apart, his rough fingers finding the sensitive flesh of your most private place. He groaned in satisfaction as he felt the slick heat of your arousal, misinterpreting it as desire rather than the body's natural response to stimulation.

"See?" he murmured, his voice thick with lust. "Your body knows what it wants, even if your mind resists."

He continued his relentless assault, his calloused fingers rubbing and circling your most sensitive spot with a skill that sent unwanted jolts of pleasure through your body. You squirmed and writhed beneath his touch, but you were no match for his strength and size. Your struggles only seemed to excite him more, his breathing growing heavier and more labored as he felt your slick arousal coating his fingers. He leaned in closer, his beard rasping against your cheek as he growled into your ear.

"That's it, sweet maiden. Let yourself feel the pleasure of a man's touch. Your body is responding so eagerly, so hungrily."

His hips pressed forward harder, the hard bulge of his arousal grinding insistently against your bottom. You could feel the heat of him even through the layers of his armor, the promise of his desire burning into your flesh. Tears streamed down your face as sobs wracked your body, your struggles growing weaker by the second.

He chuckled darkly, amused by your futile resistance. His fingers never ceased their circling, rubbing, stroking, pushing you towards a peak of unwanted pleasure that filled you with dread and revulsion.

You knew you were losing the battle, losing yourself to the overwhelming sensations and the dark hunger of the man who held you captive. And as your body began to betray you, trembling and aching with a pleasure you didn't want to feel, you realized with a sinking heart that he would have his way with you, no matter how much you resisted.

He abruptly removed his hand from between your thighs, leaving you trembling and aching with a confusing mix of fear and unwanted arousal. Before you could catch your breath, he was fumbling with the skirt of his tunic, his breathing heavy with impatience.

You felt the rough fabric of his tunic lift against your back, and then the hard, hot length of him pressed against your naked bottom. You gasped in fear, your body going rigid.

He gripped your hips hard, his fingers digging into your soft flesh as he positioned himself. You could feel the thick head of his manhood prodding against your most private entrance, demanding entrance to your untouched depths. Tears streamed down your face as you braced yourself for the inevitable, your heart pounding in terror.

Panic and dread coiled in your gut as you felt him start to push forward, his thick shaft stretching your virgin folds. You cried out, a choked sob of fear and pain escaping your lips as he forced his way inside, body struggling to accommodate his invading length.

He grunted, a sound of dark satisfaction, as he hilted himself fully inside you. You could feel every inch of his thick, hard cock pulsing deep within your clenching walls, filling and stretching you in a way that was both painful and terrifying. Your body shook with great, wracking sobs as you were finally, brutally deflowered, your innocence shattered by the force of his lust.

You felt the sting of his cock piercing your walls as he rutted his hips, mind going into static as it attempted to shield you from the traumatic scene; his groans carving space into the membrane of your brain, as he begun to slowly jut his hips into you.

His voice was a low, guttural moan as he felt your walls clench and flutter around his invading length. "So fucking tight," he grunted, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust of his hips. "Like your little cunt was made just for my cock."

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, trying in vain to block out the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body moving over and inside yours. Tears leaked from the corners of your tightly clenched eyelids as you felt him swell even thicker inside you, stretching your tender flesh to its limit.

Each drag of his hips sent fresh bolts of pain and unwanted sensation coursing through your nerves, your untrained body struggling to make sense of the brutal claiming. You could feel every ridge and vein of his thick shaft as it plunged in and out of your once pristine depths, painting your insides with his lustful essence.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he panted harshly. "That's it, little maiden. Take my cock, take every fucking inch. Your little virgin cunt feels so good squeezing me, like it's milking my cock for all it's worth."

His hand slid around your hip to your stomach, pressing against you as if he could feel his own length moving inside you. You shuddered in revulsion, wanting nothing more than to be anywhere but in this moment, anywhere but impaled on the cock of your brutal attacker.

But there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide from the relentless thrusts and the pain that radiated through your core. All you could do was endure, with tightly clenched eyes and teeth, as he used your body for his own sick pleasure, defiling your innocence and shattering your world.

You felt him stir inside you, cock throbbing with need as he pushed you down on his length; your feet barely touched the ground as he had lifted you in his tight grip.

You let out a choked cry of pain and protest as he hilting inside you with a single, brutal thrust. Your back arched, your nails digging into his armor as you tried in vain to push yourself away from him. But he was too strong, too powerful, and you were helpless to stop him as he began to rut into you with wild abandon.

He growled, his voice strained with lust and pleasure. "I can feel every inch of your cunt squeezing my cock, like you never want to let it go."

He started to thrust harder, faster, the wet sounds of your defilement filling the air as he used your body with a bruising, punishing force. Your smaller frame bounced and jostled with each slam of his hips, your breasts swaying and jiggling obscenely with the force of his lust.

You could feel the heat of his breath against your neck, the scrape of his beard against your skin as he panted and grunted with each thrust. Tears streamed down your face, your sobs echoing in the room as you were forced to endure the brutal, relentless pounding of your innocence.

His hand slid down to grip your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh hard enough to leave vivid finger-shaped bruises. He used the grip to pull you harder onto his cock, impaling you over and over again on his thick, throbbing shaft as he chased his own selfish pleasure.

With a final, brutal thrust and a guttural roar of completion, he hilted himself deep inside your ravaged core. You felt a searing, scalding heat as he began to unleash his seed, his thick cock pulsing and jerking as it pumped stream after stream of his essence deep into your once pristine womb.

You shuddered and sobbed, your body convulsing with the unwanted sensation of his release flooding your insides. The feeling of his hot, sticky seed filling you up was almost as violating as the act of violence itself, marking you irrevocably as his conquest.

He held you tightly against him, pinning you down onto his still-throbbing length as he rode out the waves of his climax. His breathing was heavy and labored, his heart pounding against your back as he basked in the afterglow of his brutal claiming.

You could only whimper and shake, your body going limp and pliant in his bruising grip. Tears and drool mingled on your face, your mind struggling to cope with the trauma and violation of your innocence. You knew, with a sinking, shattered sense of despair, that you would never be the same. Your purity, your virtue, had been stolen from you, replaced by the brutal, painful knowledge of your defilement.

As suddenly as he had grabbed you, he released his bruising grip, allowing your limp and trembling body to crumple to the floor. You collapsed in a heap, your bare skin hitting the cold, hard ground as you struggled to catch your breath and gather your scattered wits.

Pain radiated through your battered body, your hips and thighs screaming from the brutal treatment they had endured. Tears continued to flow down your cheeks as you curled in on yourself, instinctively trying to make yourself small and unseen. The sticky, unpleasant feel of his release trickled down your thighs, a sickening reminder.

He stepped back, tucking himself back into his breeches with a satisfied grunt. He loomed over your broken form, looking down at you with a cruel, mocking smile. In that moment, you saw the true extent of your helplessness and vulnerability, at the mercy of a man who had taken what he wanted without a shred of remorse or compassion.

With a ghost of a grin, he turns into his heel, not without uttering crass, defeaning words. "Thank you for your service to the Roman Empire."

RAIDER JOEL @toxicanonymity

Raider Joel + Sweet Pea plethora of stories, scenarios, world building.

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @romana-after-dark

THE WRONG WAY Raider Joel, Completed series. Joel is the leader of raiders and takes the reader for himself as back and future payment for their protection. This is very, very dark and broken Joel and a reader who knows nothing better in her life. Stockholm syndrome only deepens after finding out she’s pregnant. Tommy is a good guy and many complicated and interesting relationships. Bonus Oscar Isaac character! And sequel GHOST OF YOU

KEEP CRY’N Joel finds a new toy and gets off while you cry

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @kewwrites

BULLET FOR YOU, DARLIN’ Dark raider Joel takes the reader for his own personal pleasure, takes place years into the outbreak, …

SUNSHINE Slow burn to darkness, begins pre-outbreak. Woman and her young son move into the house across from Joel and Sarah. They all hit it off from day one… until dark Joel doesn’t want to let Sunshine go…

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PAY THE PRICE FOR YOUR PARADISE @ozarkthedog

Reader breaks down in the middle of outbreak nowhere and Joel and Tommy stop with their truck and pick her up…

@patti7dc

THE HUNTED and THE CHASE

Multi part series. Non outbreak, Serial killer Joel in a cabin in the woods hears a woman humming, collecting berries outside. He thinks she’s his next victim…

🝮NO ONE BUT ME @koshkamartell

Dark Joel feels the reader belongs to him and doesn’t take no for an answer. But he won’t make it an official relationship. Reader has given up on sneaking around with Joel without commitment and ends things. She starts a new job at the Jackson library along side another man…

ALL I DID WAS WHAT I HAD TO @corazondebeskar-reads

Raided Joel saves you from an abusive husband only to become his pet. And he doesn’t share

SMACK MY BITCH UP @milla-frenchy

You’re captured by raiders and given two options… either will make you free use for the men of the community. Starting with the boss Joel

SMOTHER @beardedjoel

Cold, starved, alone, directionless after you’ve run from your community being overrun by raiders. You come upon an solitary inhabited cabin with a man chopping wood outside. You take a chance at possible kindness and a badly needed meal. Joel brings you in and in his mind you need him to take care of you…

THE MENU @tightjeansjavi

QZ Joel who smuggles and sells, you who are bratty and in need of a fix to cope with this life. He wants you and over time you show up at his door wanting to be fucked…

CAPTIVE, CONFLICTED @joelsgreys

Taken by Joel as his own, you’re both scared and confused about what you feel

SINGLE STORIES

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @katiexpunk

LITTLE MOUSE Reader is stood up at a seedy bar and aggressively approached by a seedy creep. Murder Daddy / Biker Joel saves the reader then takes her on his bike…

NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS You’re an escort, strictly public date and no sex. Tonight’s date does not go as planned…

ULTRAVIOLENCE @devilmademewriteit

Raider Joel saves a woman from being raped, only to take her for his own.

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @ozarkthedog

SHADOWS Walking home in the cold darkness through Jackson when Dark Joel comes along…

ENSNARE Jackson Joel who needs an outlet for his darker side- CNC with reader

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @corazondebeskar-reads

THE DEVIL YOU DON’T KNOW (OR HOWEVER IT GOES) Raider Joel catches you on his land. Abduction/suspension

THIS WORLD IS NOT MADE FOR YOU Raider Joel takes you out of the house, but when you’re out of sight you’re attacked and he kills 4 men. You’re taught a lesson

THE ART OF BREAKING Non-outbreak Joel brings you to his desires (and yours) to make you his perfect little pet.

JOEL FUCKING MILLER on AO3 @pedroshotwifey

Dark and angsty Joel + a hard working reader in the QZ… both loners, 🔥 first encounter

COMMON TONGUE OF YOUR LOVING ME @tightjeansjavi

Raider Joel finds you in his territory. You’re alone. He offers you two choices- become his pet or be thrown to his men…

IN DARKNESS AND IN SECRECY @divinehedons

You escape the QZ only to be caught by Joel

FREE USE @softpascalito

CNC with Joel

HATE @notjustjavierpena

Joel uses you as he likes. Plenty of degradation. When you ask him to pull out he doesn’t.

PET @nala2811

Your group is massacred and you’re put in a cage at a raiders market to be sold. Joel buys you and takes you back to his compound to share with Tommy

HURT AND PROTECT @lokischocolatefountain

Joel will beat anyone with his bare hands that insults you, but will take you any way he likes even in the middle of the QZ 🌶️🔥

KEEP ON YOUR MEAN SIDE @milla-frenchy

Alone and hunting for mushrooms in the woods you’re grabbed from behind by a man who puts a gun to your head, told to do whatever he wants…

WRITER SPOTLIGHT @joelscruff

TO FREEZE OR TO THAW Joel takes you into his group and then takes you as his

A KINDNESS YOU CANT AFFORD part 2, Tommy helps you dress, you cockwarm Joel while he gives his group of raiders directions

YOU’RE MINE, LITTLE DOVE @mountainsandmayhem

You take a walk in the park at night to be alone, looking up at the stars in the dark when you’re grabbed, tied, gagged and thrown into a truck… twist ending

TRAINING DAY @koshkamartell

You’re home from a long day at work to find Joel and his friends over watching a game, ruining the plans you had made that morning to spend the evening together. Angry, you decide to flirt with the men and Joel is furious, you see a side of him and Tommy you’ve never known before

GODLESS @javier-penas-wifexx420

You’re a whore at a brothel in the west. A little town who paid dues to Joel and his men- ruthless when they came into town. On this visit Joel buys you from your pimp…

MINE @callachloe

At a function and Joel reminds you who you belong to

Raider Joel and his pet coded listening pleasure:

🔪🩸I’m always looking for more to add (this is just the beginning!) so check back and if you have suggestions/recs I’m glad to take a look!

It doesn’t even matter that you wear a tank top and shorts to the market, you feel like you’re going to melt every damn time you have to go. The same goes for working on the farm, only you’re less fortunate in that situation. You know it’s smarter to wear jeans out there, so most of the time you do.

You’re trying to be grateful to your parents, you really are. They just make it so damn hard sometimes. Sure, they gave you a job when you needed one, but they never stop talking about how they were right. And they were, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. 

Your mom and dad never approved of your boyfriend, and had told you as much. You chose to ignore that fact considering they said that about every boyfriend you ever had. How the hell were you supposed to know if they were actually concerned, or if they just didn’t want you to date?

They had warned you about him. Told you that he wasn’t genuine, that you need to be careful. They told you the same about your so-called “best friend”, who was the person you found your boyfriend balls deep inside of three months ago.

But, of course, despite their protest, you had moved out with him anyway. Spent your savings on renting an apartment that he put practically nothing into. In retrospect, you really should have known; there were so many signs. You were just too damn stubborn to see them. You never would have guessed that he would go as far as to cheat on you.

Your own poor choices are what ultimately landed you back here, getting out of your dad’s old truck to unload a creaky table to set up the stand at the farmer’s market. Again. You roll your eyes and pop your earbuds in, putting on your favorite playlist. 

You open the back of the truck and start to drag the plastic table out. It slides across the bed effortlessly thanks to the morning dew it’s been sitting out in. Unfortunately, that detail is another pain in the ass more than anything, because you end up getting half-soaked as you haul it into the giant tent that makes up the market.

You get it set up in an empty booth, smacking the rusted hinges to get it to stand without risk of collapse. After you lean on it to make sure it won’t fall, you return to the truck to start the endless trips of carrying produce to the stand. You usually make your younger sister help you with this part since she often tags along, but, being a senior in highschool, she couldn’t make it today. 

Once you have everything put together and displayed on various shelves, you take a seat in the foldable chair you had brought with you. You expect it will be a slow day, as Mondays usually are, so you brought a book to pass the time. 

You rarely sell anything on weekdays, you have no idea why your parents are so adamant about you coming all the way out here every monday since you got here. Maybe it’s just to get you out of the house—you wouldn’t put it past them.

You take one more look around the market to make sure there’s nobody approaching your stand before you open your book to the first page. It’s a newer, trashy romance. It’s a little embarrassing, sure, but you like what you like. 

Sometimes you swear your love life is awful or boring enough for you to actually wish to be in the place of the girls in your books. At least the fictional men seem genuine. Less likely to cheat on you with your best friend, you think bitterly. 

Less likely to manipulate into moving into an expensive apartment without helping, Less likely to treat you like shit. Plus, you probably wouldn’t mind the fact that they all seem to be absolute hunks and amazing in bed.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startles you from your spiraling thoughts, your cheeks reddening once you realize you have been staring blankly at the same page for a good few minutes. 

You have to steady yourself so you don’t drop your book on the dirt below you, which has you almost falling out of your chair in the process. 

You glance up at the stranger as you situate yourself, which doesn’t do much to help. The man is drop-dead fucking gorgeous. He’s staring down at you, clearly amused. His full lips are tugged up into a half-smirk. You think for a second that he looks familiar, but you would for sure remember seeing a man like this.

His hair is dark, a bit long and shaggy, but in the way that makes you want to run your fingers through it. He wears sunglasses, you notice with disappointment. You don’t know why you have such a strong urge to see what’s hidden under there. You’re guessing they’re brown. He seems to carry a kind aura, it’s a fitting idea that his eyes would be warm.

Even though you sense such a kindness emanating from him, there’s an annoying nagging from the back of your head that makes you uneasy. His stare is almost imposing, the way he carries himself adding so much to the effect. Your stomach bunches up in a frustrating way that signifies both anxiety and lust. You don’t really care much to figure out which is dominant at the moment. 

All you know is that you’re drawn to this man like a moth to a flame, and that after all you’ve been through, you deserve to admire him at the very least. It’s not often you come across such a good looking man. A fictional looking man. 

He cocks his head after you stare for what could probably be considered a second too long. Your face must be about the shade of a tomato at this point. The weight of an object in your hand quickly reminds you of the task at hand. 

This is a potential customer. You need to stop staring like a schoolgirl. Besides, he must be what… ten, fifteen years older than you? God, you can’t even tell. He looks mature, but somehow ageless at the same time. He has strong, masculine features, but a sort of boyish quality, too. If someone told you he was some kind of a god himself, you would have no trouble believing them.

“I-I’m so sorry, let me just put this down,” you say to the god, trying not to stumble over your own words after getting caught ogling. 

“No problem at all, sweetheart,” he says, clearly unbothered. Fuck, his voice. It’s deep and rich, and he has some sort of accent,  like he grew up speaking another language. Spanish? Probably spanish. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Down, girl.

You take a breath in through your nose, willing yourself to relax as you set your book down on the table in front of you. You resist the urge to shut your eyes out of embarrassment as he looks down at the erotic cover, and then back at you with an arched brow and an amused smile. You move quickly as you snatch the book back to flip it back-side-up.

“What can I get for you, sir?” you quietly attempt to move on from that interaction, trying to reign in some of your composure. He’s standing with one hand on his hip, which is jutted out just slightly. He licks his plush lips and stands up mostly straight before he speaks. He pulls a piece of paper out of his snug back pocket and starts to read off of it. 

Your face keeps a nice flush as he reads off of his list. Your core throbs every now and again as he talks, making it a bit hard for you to concentrate, but you’re pretty sure you got everything. 

You nod at him to let him know as much before you get up to collect everything. Who knows if your voice even works right now. You do your best to ignore the weight of his stare on your back as you move around.

“Haven’t seen you around before,” he says, obviously wanting to start a conversation. “You been here long?”

“No, not really,” you say, trying to level your voice as you place produce into bags. “Well, kind of. I grew up here but I moved away a few years ago. Only been back for a couple months now. I’m staying to help my parents for a bit before I can get back onto my feet,” you finish as you secure the last bag. 

You look up as you place the goods on the table, this time meeting the man’s uncovered eyes. Brown and expressive, just as you imagined. You smile absentmindedly, and he mirrors your action, making your stomach twist once again. What a fucking smile. 

“Well, welcome back, then,” he says. “I’m Javier. Prefer it if you would call me Javi, though.” 

“Javi it is,” you say, liking the feel of his name on your tongue. You tell him your name and he nods. 

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

Fuck this man, he has to know what he’s doing. 

“Thank you,” you say, trying to control the pitch of your voice. 

He watches you as you place his bags on the table in front of you, now full of his requested items. As you catch his gaze, everything around you seems to fade to black. No sounds, no movement. All you can focus on is the sudden electric current that is born between the two of you. 

A nervous flutter starts in your stomach, but you just can’t bring yourself to look away, as if the attraction would be broken and gone forever if you did. The two of you hold eye contact for what could be a minute or ten before someone walks past your stand, drawing your attention back to reality.

You both let out a breath you’ve been holding, yours probably more shaky than his. You shake your head and start to add up his total after wiping your sweaty palms on your shorts. He stands back on his heels, his hands shoved into his pockets as he watches you work.

It only takes a moment. You tell him his total and he slides his wallet out, handing you the exact cash. You both thank each other at the same time, making you giggle. He smiles wider at the sound. 

“You’ve got a nice laugh, sweetheart,” he complements warmly. 

“Thank you. I made it myself,” you joke. Javi chuckles to himself, almost like he’s surprised to hear you make a joke. “Sorry,” you say, laughter in your own voice. “That was kind of lame.” 

“No, that was pretty clever, actually,” he says through his smile. 

You let yourself get one more good look as you reciprocate the gesture, fully expecting him to part ways. He doesn’t though, instead he asks you the one question you had hoped that nobody would ask you. 

“What brought you back here?” 

Your smile drops slightly and you consider lying to him, telling him that your parents wanted your help and that’s all. You know you can’t, though. There’s no point in trying to hide the truth. Nothing stays hidden in this small town. 

So you don’t. You sum up every stupid, unfair thing that made you return home. There’s a flash of sympathy in his gaze that makes you want to shut up, but some sick part of you craves that sympathy at the same time. 

It only takes you a couple minutes to have everything out, but he stays quiet and patient the entire time. Never interrupting you once and nodding along at all the right parts to let you know he’s listening. 

You haven’t felt this seen in a long time, It feels good. It makes you want to wrap yourself up in this total stranger’s arms and beg him to hold you. Fuck, now you’re picturing that. You need to not picture that. Luckily you don’t have much of a chance to, because he’s responding to you only a few seconds after you finish. 

“Well, that’s a damn shame. Fuckin’ boys don’t even know how to treat a sweet girl anymore.” Javi says, making you blush once again. 

The attention he gives you feels the same as jumping into a cool pool after being in the sun all day. It’s unbelievably refreshing to hear something like that instead of the usual scolding and ‘I told you so’s.  

He seems to put thought into what comes out of his mouth, and it genuinely makes you feel like he cares. Like he wants to make sure you hear what you deserve to hear.

“What makes you so sure I’m sweet?” you ask playfully, trying to change the topic to ignore the craving for more kind words. Might as well flirt a little while you’re at it, you figure. What can it hurt?

“Just a hunch,” he says, his tone the same as yours as his smile crinkled eyes bore into yours. You nod a little, your adoring smile never wavering.

 You both notice the small line of people beginning to form behind Javi at the same time. He almost looks disappointed at the sight, like he doesn’t want to leave just yet. 

“Just one second, honey,” he says, digging the scrap of paper from before out of his pocket again. Once he has that laid against the table in front of him, he supplies a pen from the front pocket of his shirt. He uses it to scribble something down onto the paper. 

You crane your neck slightly to try to catch a peak, but you can’t tell with how fast he’s writing. When he’s done, he folds it once, slides it your way, and gives a singular nod. 

“See you around, sweetheart,” he says as he starts to leave. 

“Yeah. See you,” you mumble under your breath as you watch him stride away, bags of produce in hand.

A woman walks up to the table, and you quickly turn to her. 

“So sorry about that. How can I help you?” you ask quickly, eyeing the paper Javi left behind.

It only takes you a little while to get everyone who was in line checked out, but it feels like it could have been hours. As soon as the last customer starts to walk away, your hands are on the note, shakily unfolding it to reveal Javi’s (suitably) scratchy handwriting. 

You see what you can only assume to be his phone number, and above it, there’s a note. 

“I would love to see you again, sweet girl. Give me a call?” 

Your heart flutters as you bite your lip and read the note over again. There’s no way you’re not taking up that offer. 

***

Thank you so much for reading!! I would absolutely love any kind of feedback so I know where everyone's at on this!! I have a tag list open for this series if anybody would like to join <3

That pang of hurt that had fallen asleep cradled in your chest last night comes back full force. You quickly push it down as you try to rationalize your thoughts. Maybe he’s out getting breakfast, or maybe he forgot something at the embassy. He could be picking something up from the hardware shop in town. 

You fold your arms around your torso and glance at the clock, scratching the breakfast idea upon seeing it’s about 11:30am. Wherever he is, you just wish he would have told you where he was going beforehand—or at least that he was going to go somewhere in the first place. You scan around the apartment one more time, checking every surface for a note, but come up empty. 

That’s fine, you tell yourself. You’re sure he’ll be back soon. You decide to get ready for the day and brush it off as much as you can. 

Back in your bedroom, you pull out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before brushing your teeth and pulling them both on. You try not to glance at Javi’s side of the closet as you dress. Some part of you is almost angry at him for leaving like this, which only serves to make you feel guilty. It’s not like he’s doing anything wrong. He’s a grown man who can make his own decisions. You’re not his mom. 

You decide after a cup of coffee that you’ll work on getting the stains out of the hardwood today. It’s a strenuous job, but it’ll keep you from brewing while you wait for your husband to get home. A bucket and scrub bush later, you’re kneeling on the living room floor, sudsing up one of the sections that had been hidden by a rug. 

You try to keep your mind off of him as you work, knowing you’ll just get fired up if you keep feeding yourself annoyances. It half works. You honestly just can’t shake that sadness at the fact that he did indeed leave you alone. It may be selfish, but you just don’t understand why he would want to go anywhere when he’s finally getting a day to be with you. 

But by the time you’re done with the apartment, the floors spotless and you drenched in sweat four hours later, he’s not back. You hadn’t even realized how long you’d been working for, a ball of worry now dropping low into your stomach. There’s no reason he should be gone this long on his day off. Surely he would have told you first even if he was, right?

You sit on the drying floor for a few moments, chewing your lip as you contemplate your next step. It doesn’t settle well with you, but you decide you’ll clean this mess, then get a shower and prepare dinner, and if he’s not back by then, you’ll make some calls.

There’s still a hollow spot in your stomach as you shower, and it only grows once you step out to find that he’s still not back. But you tell yourself to calm the fuck down, and go prepare dinner anyway. If he did go to work, he probably wouldn’t be home for a couple more hours anyway. 

It’s a task to ignore your gut as you get dinner ready, unsure if it’s good or bad that it’s one of the most time-consuming meals to make. You make the dough, wash and cut your ingredients, make the filling, and put it all together in a flurry of anxiety and building dread. 

You swear your lip has bruises on it from how hard you’ve been biting it as you work. Awful thoughts run through you as you clean up and put the dish in the fridge for later. Thoughts of him stuck somewhere without help, of him wounded or—

You blanch just at the thought of that, nausea rolling not just through your stomach, but wracking your entire body. He’s told before how dangerous his job is, how much more he’ll be working in person to down criminals here in Colombia. What if he didn’t have backup? What if he was taken? But he shouldn’t even be at work today…

You can’t even fathom the thought of him one day not coming back to you. Just ceasing to exist one day and leaving you alone again. How would you survive without him? Without his love? Without loving him in return? 

Your hand comes up to cover your mouth as you will yourself to take steadying breaths, not realizing how much you’ve started shaking. You look at the clock. It’s almost  8:30pm. He’s been gone for at least eight or nine hours now. 

That’s it, you’re calling the embassy. Javi had told you not to unless it’s an emergency, but you would consider this such. You storm into the living room and dial with shaky hands, trying to keep down your anxiety. You lift the receiver and bite your nails as you listen to it ring. And ring. And ring. You curse and try again, only for the phone to go unanswered again. 

You groan in frustration and slam the receiver back, hot tears springing to your eyes as the panic within you starts to rise. You’ll just have to go down there. You know Javi wouldn’t want you to do that, but what the hell else are you supposed to do? You can’t take the risk of not doing anything if it turns out he’s missing—or worse. 

You hurry back to the bedroom and tug a coat from the closet, throwing it on and heading to the hall to shove your shoes on, remembering that you haven’t yet explored the city. Hopefully you’ll be able to find your way based on memory. 

Just as you’re about to reach for the doorknob, it turns. Your stomach churns and you feel the urge to throw up again as your worry somehow both increases and dulls for different reasons. You step back as the door opens to reveal Javi, a bit tired looking but uninjured. 

You don’t give him a single second before you thrust yourself into his arms, babbling into his chest and trying to stop your tears that suddenly stream down your cheeks. You hadn’t realized how worked up you had gotten. His arms wrap around you and he takes a few steps to lead you back through the doorway and closes the door behind you. 

“Woah, sweetheart, slow down for me,” he tries to sooth you though his own voice is a bit frantic. “Tell me what’s going on, honey.” 

You back away from him just enough to get some semblance of your thoughts back in order. He looks extremely worried, his hands moving to lift your arms one at a time and then your chin, assessing you for any injuries. 

“I d-didn’t know where you were,” you start, watching him carefully. “I woke up and you were gone even though it’s the weekend and I waited all day because I thought you would be here and you didn’t come back so I called your work because I thought you were hurt or—” 

You’re lucky you run out of breath because your choked sob would have stopped you otherwise. You cover your eyes and take a deep but ragged breath. Javi’s hands quickly come to your wrists, trying to gently tug them away. When your hands are back down with his, you see him kneeling before you, his own eyes laced with worry. 

“Honey, I’m so sorry. I got called in while you were still asleep and I didn’t realize how long I’d be there for. I—” 

He stops as he takes in your entire outfit for apparently the first time since he got here. His brows furrow and you sniffle. His gaze comes back up to you after, his eyes cold now. It makes you rear back a bit, putting a few more inches between the two of you. He stands and watches as your expression turns to one of confusion. 

“Javi? Wha–” 

“Where the hell were you going?” He bites it out quick, his tone more demanding than you’ve heard before. Your face scrunches up slightly, a bit of anger ebbing into your previous anxiety. That’s what he wants to talk about? Your mood changes so quick it almost gives you whiplash, all other emotions siphoning into anger and agitation. He doesn’t get to disappear all day and then come home and question you.

“I was coming to find you,” you tell him, stepping toward him as if to dare him to use that tone again, though your tone was just as harsh. A muscle ticks in his jaw. 

“Why the hell would you do that?” 

You gape at him. Is he being serious? 

“I was worried sick! You really think I’m supposed to just wait around while you could have been dead in an alley somewh—” 

“Yes, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do,” he counters with a steely voice. 

You don’t even know what to say to that.

“You were gone all day, are you really going to fucking grill me right now? You didn’t even leave me a note and the embassy didn’t pick up. How am I supposed to know you were actually at work?” You know that your anger is coming out of seemingly nowhere, but after stewing in your anxiety all day, it’s not hard to provoke you. You also know that last accusation was a low blow, and you regret it as soon as it’s out of your mouth.

“You know you shouldn’t be going out without me,” he bites, luckily choosing to ignore that last quip. You can feel his own temper rising, and it does nothing but increase your own. He’s not winning this, not after his stunt today. 

“I can go out if I want to go out,” you spit, crossing your arms. 

He lets out a warning chuckle, shaking his head. “ Not here you can’t, you fucking know that.” 

“Yes I damn well can! You don’t own me, I’m not just going to stay stuck in the apartment all day and night every day of the year!”

You can feel the tension rising between the two of you, but you don’t back down. There’s fury simmering deep, and you’re not about to agree to playing rapunzel for much longer. 

“Will you just fucking drop it? It’s for your own good!”

It’s making you sick, how quickly this is turning into something bigger, but you can’t stop even though your brain is screaming to let it go. 

“No, I won’t ‘just fucking drop it’, Javi! I’m not some dog you can just keep at home while you go out and do whatever!” 

He takes a step toward you, warning clear in the hardness of his eyes and the clench of his jaw. 

“I don’t understand why you’re making this such an issue, I’m trying to keep you safe,” he growls. “Do you not get that it’s dangerous here? You could be kidnapped, killed, raped.” 

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t have brought us here!” you cry, taking a step towards him as well. “I’m sick of not having any freedom!” It’s true; you’ve missed being able to go out, but you haven’t brought it up until now. You’d assumed it would change within the next few weeks, but it doesn’t sound now like that would have been super likely. 

“Oh is that what it is? You’re a slave now?” 

You rub your eyes and groan exasperatedly, getting more and more frustrated. Every bit of annoyance you’ve ignored from the last couple of months is starting to stir together in your head. 

“That’s not what I fucking said! I’m just tired of not being able to do what I want.” 

You realize right after you say it how childish that sounds, but you stand up straighter and look hard into his eyes as you ignore the impulse to wince.  

Javi lifts his arms and looks around pointedly. 

“You have plenty of shit to do here! I bring you whatever you want, but no, it’s not good enough is it?” 

You’ve never heard him speak this way; not to you or anyone else. It immediately brings tears to your eyes. You again feel like you’re acting like a child, and it frustrates you beyond comprehension. Does he really feel like you’re that much of an annoyance? 

“God damn it, Javi, stop putting words in my mouth!” You get closer to him, putting an accusing finger on his chest as you look into his eyes to try to get your point across. “I have nothing here right now, I feel fucking lonely,” you choke back a sob at the admission. “Most of my shit was left in Texas and now you’re not even around anymore to keep me company. I can’t call my sister and I don’t have any friends. I’m tired of being so alone.” 

Javi bites his cheek, nodding at you. “Well then maybe you shouldn’t have fucking come with me.” 

The ache in your chest spreads, pieces of you cracking with each word that comes from his mouth . You don’t want to believe it’s real. This is Javi. Your Javi. Why are you fighting? What’s happening? You want it to end, but your mouth moves too quickly for you to stop it. You’re too heated to have any kind of effect on the retorts slipping so easily off your tongue. He’s making it sound like he can care less if you were with him or not. Like he doesn’t need you like you need him. It hurts. 

But even so, you still take the bait. “Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have.” The words hurt coming out, but you don’t take them back.

He puts his hands on his hips and backs away, laughing exasperatedly at you. “You’re acting like a spoiled fucking brat. Everything I’ve done is to make you happy, and it’s still not enough.” He looks down at you with what could be called disdain, and you suddenly want to break down as a shameful feeling embeds itself somewhere deep inside of you. He looks angry, more angry than you’ve ever seen him before. “You’re acting like you’re stuck with me, when I’m the one who married you to get you out of your damn house for being a slut!” 

Your eyes widen and your body trembles as the blood drains from your face. What did he just say? It suddenly feels like you’re floating, everything around you disappearing until it’s only you and Javi left.

“W-what?” your voice is weak as you struggle to even get the word out through your gasps for breath. It feels like your heart is crumbling, a sudden ringing in your ears being the only distraction from it. Tears fall from your eyes, blurring your vision even as you try to blink them away. You don’t understand. Javi would never say something like that to you. 

He looks for a moment like he’s going to apologize, scoop you up in his arms and beg you to forgive him. You can see it in the way regret flashes across his face, softening his gaze and making his lips part like he just realized what he said. But then he steels himself, stands up straight, and crosses his arms. 

“You heard me. It’s your own damn fault.” 

You watch him, your body now tensing with a pain beyond physical. You want to fucking scream at all of the emotions tearing you apart from the inside. You’re on the brink of a panic attack, your head going light as you try to understand what’s really happening. You almost startle when you hear a voice, only to realize it belongs to you. 

“N-no, I-” It’s not your fault, it can’t be. You look down to the floor, mouth gaping as you try to find something to say. When you look back up, all remorse is gone from Javi’s expression. It flips something within you, and before you can stop it, you're rushing to him, tears of pain and frustration turning to those of unabashed anger. 

“Fuck you! I fucking hate you!” You practically scream the words as your fists pound on his chest. 

He grabs onto you, yelling something that sounds like “stop”, but you can’t hear properly through the fog that’s taken over your brain. All you can focus on is deflecting these emotions that have welled up inside you, the ache in your chest. He shoves you, and you falter but keep going. You want to crawl somewhere and hide for a long fucking time. 

And you know as soon as it happens, that you messed up. A sting radiates across your cheek, and your vision blurs for a reason other than tears. All the air leaves your lungs and your legs turn to jelly as you descend to the floor. 

You almost don’t understand how you got there until you look up and see Javi standing above you, heaving with his hand still raised. He’s positively fuming, watching you with a fiery rage.

Regret takes over you immediately. You did do this. You made him hit you. He would never do that if he didn’t have to. You were hurting him and… Your cheek begins to pound and you bring a hand up to feel it, only to flinch away when your fingers make contact with the sensitive flesh.

Javi watches you for another second, and then turns his back, making you spring into action even though you’re still in a terrible daze. The scared leap of your heart is enough to get you up. 

“No, no, no, I’m sorry, wait, please–” 

You’re still crying and sniffling as you crawl part way and then stumble to your feet to catch him before he goes. He already has one hand on the doorknob, keys in hand when you reach him and he stops. 

“Javi, please, I didn’t mean it, I—please don’t leave, I’m sorry!” You’re in hysterics as you grab onto him, waiting for him to wrap his arms around you and forgive you for being so immature. But he just stands there, letting you sob into the same chest you’d been hitting seconds earlier. 

You’re shaking violently as your body wracks with your tears, feeling nauseous from the whole situation you just created. You don’t know how long you stand there before he finally reciprocates your affection and pulls you closer. He cups the back of your head to him and gently rubs your back, shushing you quietly. 

“Shh, I know baby,” he coos, his voice a stark opposite from the one that spat those hurtful words just minutes earlier. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” 

Your relief is immediate, your sobbing settling as you can finally get a calming breath back in. 

He forgives you. It’s okay. He forgives you.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper anyway, the words echoing in your empty head as your mouth moves of its own accord.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispers back, ducking his head down to plant a kiss on yours. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”

You nod, more for yourself than for him. It’s only now that you can feel the exhaustion seeping in, the fighting and crying having taken a lot out of you. 

“Can we go to bed, please?” You ask in a voice that’s barely audible. Everything feels fake right now, it’s a strange sensation, almost as if you’re in a dream. It all feels so overwhelming. Not just the emotions, but the lighting and the bright colors around you. The feeling of Javi’s shirt against your cheek as you cling to him. 

Javi says nothing but carefully scoops you up to carry you to the bedroom. When he sets you back down, you close your eyes and let him undress you until you’re left in your panties, and then he helps you lay down. 

You get comfortable, making sure not to lay on your numb and throbbing cheek. He crawls in a moment after you, clad in his boxers. He turns the bedside lamp off and then pulls you to him, letting you cuddle up into his side and place your head on his chest. 

You lay there with him for a moment, your eyes stinging even in the dark as you try not to think about how different the outcome could have been. You’re so lucky that he didn’t leave you all alone after what you did. He stayed and comforted you, even after you’d taken him for granted and treated him so terribly. 

“I’m sorry,” you can’t help but say again, your voice hoarse and small. “I love you.” There are still tears crawling down your face, but they feel thin, like you’re about to be out. 

Javi holds you tighter and whispers back to you in the dark. “I know, baby. I love you too.” 

He loves you. It’s okay. 

There’s another few minutes of silence where you contemplate a risky question. You’re sure Javi probably thinks you’re asleep by now, but your mind doesn’t rest that easily. You just need to make sure he’s not at all mad at you anymore; you know you won’t be able to fall asleep without knowing, that you’ll fall back into a panic if you don’t make sure things are as perfect as they can be. You need things to be normal.

You weigh the possibilities of his reaction, and then decide to take a chance by asking anyway. You make sure to use your sweetest voice as you do so, just in case. 

“Javi?” 

There’s a beat of silence. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

You swallow before biting the bullet. 

“Will you still take me on our date? Since you’ll be with me…” 

You hear him mutter a quiet curse, but you can tell it’s not out of anger for you, but the realization that he had forgotten all about it. 

“Yes, carino. I’ll take you on your date.” His voice is warmer now, relaxed.

You smile in the dark, the last of your panic simmering into nothing with the reassurance that you’re forgiven. 

“Go to sleep now, I promise I’ll be here in the morning.” One of his hands comes up to pet your hair, soothing you in a way that you need right now. 

He loves you. It’s okay. You’re okay.

You nod lightly and let your slightly-puffy eyelids flutter shut, allowing yourself to relax as you whisper another ‘I love you’. You fall asleep within the next few minutes, comforted by the rise and fall of his chest, the weight of his gentle hand, and the knowledge that you didn’t ruin it all. 

*****

I would love some feedback on this one to see where we're at! I love you all and I hope this chapter met your expectations 💕

As usual, the taglist is always open! lmk if you would like to be put on or taken off! <3

Your ears perk up when you hear the sound of Javi’s truck coming up the road. You’ve memorized it at this point, because there’s a barely noticeable sputter that comes from the exhaust pipe every thirty seconds or so. 

He comes to a stop in front of you, rolling down his passenger window to reveal his beaming smile. Your stomach flips as you grin back. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he beams. He looks into the rear view mirror and sees a car approaching. He frowns slightly and pushes the passenger door open instead of walking around to get it for you, obviously not wanting to hold up traffic. “Climb on up, princess.” 

You step up, grabbing his extended hand to keep balance as you hoist yourself into the seat, quickly shutting the door behind you. There’s a stack of blankets in the middle of the bench seat, but Javi tells them you can move them if you want when he sees the confused look on your face. Once you’re settled in the middle and buckled in, Javi continues on. 

“Having a good day?” he asks as he takes another look into the rearview.

“I am now,” you reply, trying to hold down your blush. You really wish you could stop being so school-girlish around him. 

“Hm. That makes two of us.” 

You look at eachother and share a smile. He puts one hand out, asking silently for you to take it, which, of course, you do. You place your palm into his much larger one and then pull it into your lap to rest on your thigh. 

You sit in a comfortable silence the rest of the way, watching out the window at all the greenery. This is what you missed most about the countryside. When you had been up towards the city, there weren’t many trees, and there certainly weren’t any farms or rolling hills. You always missed the landscape, though your boyfriend much preferred the cityscape. Yet another disagreement that you were never allowed to have a word about.

As Javi drives, you get further and further away from houses and farms, and more into unclaimed land. 

“Where did you say we’re going?” you ask again, though you know by now it’s a feeble attempt. The look he gives you says as much. 

“You’ll see,” he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. You playfully roll your eyes and squeeze his hand. 

Not a minute later, Javi’s making a turn down a dirt road. It winds for as far as you can see, sparsely covered by trees and lined by thick, tall grass. Javi rolls the windows all the way up as dirt starts to kick up around the truck, interrupting the golden glow from the setting sun. 

You look at him with a quirked brow, and he smiles mischievously in response. 

“Almost there, sweetheart.” 

Another two minutes, and Javi’s turning the truck off on top of a hill, the bed facing the sunset. You glance at the blankets and a grin breaks out across your face. 

“We’re going to watch the sunset?” you ask excitedly. Javi grins and nods. 

“Help me with the blankets?” 

You both get out and climb into the back with the blankets, laying them down so that there’s a comfortable layer between the two of you and the cold bed. You can feel flutters in your stomach. How did you get so lucky? 

You both kick your shoes off and sit down, trying to get comfortable and in position to watch the sun go down. You squirm for a moment after Javi, trying to find the perfect spot. He smiles fondly at you. 

“Hold on baby,” Javi says before gently taking your hand and leading you toward him. 

He pulls you with him as he leans back against the cab, settling you comfortably in his lap so that you’re both facing the sunset. It’s breathtaking, the pinks, oranges, and purples all blending together and mixing with the soft white clouds. You lean back into his chest as you let out a content sigh. 

You feel a sense of safety and belonging within Javi’s arms, one that you haven’t felt for much too long. You feel him press a kiss into your hair, and your eyes flutter shut to hone in on the gentle sensation. 

“Gotta ask you something, baby,” Javi breaks the silence with a low tone. Your eyes snap back open.  

“Anything, Javi,” you say, craning your neck the tiniest bit to look his way. Your heart beats heavy in your chest, you have an idea of what he’s about to ask you, but you don’t want to get your hopes up. He moves one of his hands to one of yours, and you grasp it, bringing it up to your lips to place a soft kiss on his palm. 

“How would you feel about being mine? Only mine?” he asks, his breath disturbing your hair as he speaks in just over a whisper. 

Your lips split into a smile and you crain your neck to look into his chocolate brown eyes. 

“I’m already yours, Javi,” you tell him truthfully. “But I would love if you would be only mine, too.” 

He smiles gently at you before cupping your cheek to bring you in for a kiss. You melt into him as he moves his lips with yours. It’s messier than any you’ve shared with him before. It feels like one of those kisses that’s bound to lead to more, where the passion consumes you so much that you can’t ignore the desire to be closer. 

You almost bite his plush bottom lip when you shift your hips and feel him hardening beneath you. It feels like there’s fire in your veins as you grind down again, deliberately this time, and a moan escapes his lips. You haven’t gone this far with Javi yet, but god, have you fantasized about it. 

There’s a beat of silence before you and Javi suddenly spring into action. He helps you flip around on him so that your thighs are straddling his torso, his quickly hardening cock tucked perfectly beneath your panties. You reconnect your lips with his, kissing him with a hungry fervor that he returns ten-fold. Your arms are thrown around his shoulders as you grind down on him. You groan into each other’s mouths as sparks climb up your bodies. 

You repeat the movement, whining when your clit catches on the fabric of his jeans. Javi’s hands move to your waist, and guide you to do it again, both of you gasping at the friction. You know you have to be soaked through your panties at this point, no doubt creating a dark spot on his pants. 

You’re slightly surprised by your own confidence and the fact that you’re comfortable to act this way with him. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Javi gets out through gritted teeth. “You really want to keep this up? I hope you know where that’s going to land you.”

You nod a bit too enthusiastically. “Yes!” you say, flinching a bit at your obvious excitement. He smirks devilishly at you, his thumbs rubbing circles on your hips. “Yes, please, Javi. I need you.” 

“You’ve got me, baby,” Javi whispers, leaning forward to plant hot, open-mouthed kisses on the side of your neck. You whimper, your brows furrowing in concentration as you gyrate your hips back and forth. There’s a warm, fuzzy feeling starting to bubble within your lower abdomen, slowly building with each drag. 

The thin cotton of your panties does practically nothing to tame the wetness seeping out of you and onto Javi’s pants. You tighten your arms around him as you rock yourself quicker, the coil tightening further within you. You’re moaning, gasping, and whimpering against Javi’s lips, the kiss growing sloppier with each pass. 

Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you consider your current behavior. Never in your life have you acted so ridiculously…feral. You honestly can’t think of another word for what you’re doing right now, grinding up against this man like an animal, licking and nipping at his plush lips without restraint. 

The only reason you don’t slow is because Javi’s acting the same way. Like he can’t get enough of you. His hands are gripping your hips so tightly that you’ll likely bruise, his own bucking against yours every time you grind particularly hard. The noises that tumble from his lips are downright filthy. 

Without breaking contact with your lips, Javi lets one hand trail down to slip underneath your dress, and then places his thumb between your bodies and over your clit. He only circles twice before you’re falling apart on top of him. You cry his name as your body shakes uncontrollably, his thumb continuing its movement to prolong your orgasm. 

“That’s a good fucking girl,” Javi whispers close to your ear, quiet enough that you almost miss it. You whimper at his praise, trying to keep your eyes open and on him. He’s yours, but you don’t want to waste a single second not observing his beauty. His brown eyes stare back, his imposing gaze full of hunger and passion in equal portions. 

Your lips reconnect in a sloppy kiss as he pulls the crotch of your soaked panties to the side and then taps your hips as a signal to lift up. The pad of his middle finger caresses your dripping hole, making you shudder and whimper into his mouth. He groans as he pulls away slightly and dips both of his hands between you to start undoing his belt. 

Your eyes quickly snap to his pants when you hear the clink, your mouth going dry. You don’t know why, but it’s like you’re only now registering the fact that you’re finally going to have him inside of you, something you’ve been dreaming of for weeks. 

Javi pulls his cock out, and you can’t help it. You straight up fucking moan. He’s gorgeous. His cock is thick, long, and as tan as the rest of him. There’s a bead of precum dribbling from his slit, which he wipes away with his thumb. You almost feel dizzy with how turned on you are right now. You’re not a blushing virgin by any means, but you’re also not super experienced, so the sheer eroticism of the whole situation is as almost unfamiliar as it is addicting. 

You hear him huff a laugh through his nose, and your gaze is cast back up to see him smirking at you. Your face flushes at the realization that he caught you staring—or maybe admiring would be the better term here—at his dick. 

“Like what you see, hermosa?” he inquires, his voice smooth and suave. You bite your bottom lip as you nod at him. No use in lying, you figure. Javi smiles at you warmly before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on your reddened cheek. 

“Would you like to touch it?”

You’re glad you’re biting down on your lip right now, because you would have released another moan if not for the slight pain. You nod your head again, trying not to give yourself whiplash with the movement. One of your hands trails down, but you stop halfway when Javi tuts at you and gently grabs your hand. 

“Words, sweetheart. Verbal communication is very important if we’re going to do this, okay?” He looks like he genuinely wants you to understand, his big brown eyes boring into yours as he waits for consent. Your heart warms with the gesture. Is it possible to feel any safer with him?

“Yes, please,” you say, your voice coming out quieter than you intended. He nods at you and releases your hand to let you wrap your own around his warm length. He hisses sharply as you start to pump him, feeling the weight of him in your palm. 

“Shit, baby,” Javi strains when you let your thumb run over his head. “Sit up higher for me.”

You oblige immediately, sitting on your knees and taking your hand away to balance yourself on his broad shoulders. You look into his eyes as he grasps his cock, your lids fluttering when you feel his blunt tip press against your sopping entrance. 

“Ready?” 

You gulp and nod before remembering that he wants to hear you. 

“Yes, I’m ready.” 

Your eyes pinch shut as he starts to push into you, lowering yourself down to help his effort. You’re wet enough that it’s mostly a smooth glide, only a small pinch when he’s about halfway in. You don’t even realize you’ve been holding your breath until you’re fully seated on his lap, his cock already pressing against something heavenly within you. 

You release the breath and open your eyes back at the same time. Javi’s already staring back at you, and the look in his eyes can only be described as carnal. His pupils have taken up most of his irises, making his eyes look almost fully black. His tongue peeks out to wet his swollen bottom lip as he plants his hands back on your hips, starting to assist you in moving up and down. 

He plants his feet flat on the bed of the truck and begins thrusting into you slowly. The drag of his cock against your walls has you moaning like an animal and encourages Javi to pick up his pace. You feel boneless as he helps you bounce on his dick, letting yourself wilt to place your head in the crook of his neck. You dampen the golden skin there with your panting, but neither of you pay it any mind. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, feel so fucking good.” 

You whimper at his praise as you try to focus on keeping up your movement. You can already feel that familiar heat creeping up from the base of your spine. Your clit catches on the groomed thatch of pubic hair at the base of him each time you lower your hips, which quickly adds to the sensation. 

“Oh, Javi, I’m gonna c-come,” you struggle to get the words out as your hips stutter and your brain focuses solely on the powerful sensation between your wet thighs. His thrusts pick up again, making you yelp when he pegs that spongy spot you usually can’t reach. 

“Oh, God, Like that!” the words slip out before you can even think about them, your body desperate to feel it again. You don’t even have the mind to be embarrassed. 

“Yeah, honey? Right there?” Javi punctuates his question with a particularly harsh thrust into the same spot, and you’re immediately coming apart on top of him. Your mouth gapes as you groan out your pleasure, the sound mixing with Javi’s own. You slowly grind up and down as you ride out what might be your most powerful orgasm ever.

You can vaguely hear Javi spitting out praises through the numbness of your mind, only catching pieces of each sentence. 

“...doing so good…fucking tight…feel like heaven…”

When you come down from your high, panting as your vision returns, Javi grabs you and quickly spins the two of you, laying you down on your back without removing his cock from you. You loop your arms around his neck, more confused by the change in position than alarmed due to the residual haziness of your orgasm. 

He loses control once he has you down, slamming his hips faster as he chases his pleasure. It feels so fucking good, the tip of his cock punching into you at a brutal pace. Your fingernails claw at the back of his neck, likely leaving marks, but if Javi notices, he obviously doesn’t mind. 

He bends down to kiss—if you can call it that—and nip harshly at your neck. The light pain mixed with the simmering feeling in your abdomen quickly brings you dangerously close to the brink once again. You’re almost surprised. Even when you’re alone, it takes you longer to bring yourself to the edge than he is right now.

He whimpers into your neck, and the sound has your walls clenching around him, spurring him on. His fingers of one hand are digging into the skin of your hips again while the other is balled up and planted next to your head where he’s resting his forearm for balance. Tears sting your eyes as you feel that light discomfort of overstimulation, but it quickly fades back into pleasure. 

“Such a sweet girl, letting me have you like this, aren’t you?” 

You whimper in response as your third tonight orgasm takes over, your body convulsing beneath him. God, he has a dirty mouth. 

“Bet you taste good, too. Fucking sweet. Gonna feast on this damn pussy the second I get the chance.” 

His hips start to break their pattern, his composure dwindling with each thrust as he babbles on. 

“Don’t know why I haven’t already. So fucking soft and warm. Fucking made for me.” 

You’re not sure if he’s completely aware of what he’s saying right now, so you ignore that last comment even though it makes your stomach flip. You’re not sure if it’s with lust or unease, and you don’t particularly care to figure it out at the moment. You’re just reading too much into things, you need to stop thinking and enjoy what you have right now. 

As you push your thoughts away, you realize how close he is to coming, his pants coming out quickly as he rapidly pumps himself into you, barely pulling out with each thrust. 

“J-Javi,” you squeak out. He hums back a response, letting you know he heard you and is listening, but he doesn’t slow down. 

“You h-have to pull out, o-okay?” He hums again, but you really wish he would give you a solid answer. Isn’t he the one who was just talking about verbal communication? You try not to overthink it, you trust him. 

He thrusts a few more times before letting out a groan, and you know he’s close, dangerously close. 

“J-Javi,” you say his name in gentle reminder, trying not to panic. You watch his face and see his eyes flicker up to yours—almost defiantly, as if he wasn’t going to listen to you. It looks like it pains him, but just as he’s about to come, he reluctantly pulls away, moaning as his release lands in strips over your pussy and lower stomach, just barely out in time. 

You breathe a sigh of relief you hadn’t realized you had been holding as you let your eyes flutter shut and move a hand up to comb through his hair. You stroke gently as he comes down from his high, and then collapses partially on you. 

See? You knew he would pull out. 

You both lay in silence, him with his head on your chest, and you staring up at the stars that came out as the two of you were busy. You’re almost asleep by the time Javi breaks the silence again. 

“You knew I was going to pull out, right, baby?” He asks. 

You furrow your brows as your stomach flips again in that way that you don’t want to pay too much attention to.

“Yes,” you say as you continue stroking his damp curls. “I trust you.” 

Javi nods into you as you continue staring up at the night sky. 

You do, don’t you?

**** Thank you for reading! I would really appreciate any kind of interaction if you enjoyed this chapter. Series taglist is always open for those who would like to join!

taglist: @corazondebeskar @yorksgirl @nerdieforpedro @axshadows @melaninmommy @survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @movievillainess721

You have no idea how he does it, how he can bring himself to the edge so many times only to repeatedly deny himself. How he forces you to stay still until he backs off the edge and is able to keep going. How he, somehow, manages to get you to fall apart over and over again while he does so. 

You lost count of your orgasms after four; at that point, they had started to mesh. Everything had, really. 

“Shhh,” Javi says, continuing to pound into you. “You can take it, hermosa.”

He has you face down, ass in the air. One of his hands is wrapped in your hair, and the other on your waist, both working to pull you back to him to meet his thrusts. Your hands are just as useless as your arms at this point, scrambling to find something to hold onto without success. 

Your cries and pleas are accompanied by Javi’s grunts and heavy breathing, which mixes together with a wet slapping sound that echoes around the bedroom. The atmosphere is humid and thick with the smell of sex, making your mind even more hazy.

Your body is acting on its own at this point, completely detached from your brain. You faintly register a coil tightening in your abdomen, pulling tighter and tighter until it snaps.

You cry out as your orgasm wracks your entire body, your cunt convulsing around Javi’s still-hard dick. He grits his teeth and shoves himself even harder into you, slamming into your cervix and making you jolt forward.

He stills but holds you close, his cock nestled deep inside you as you ride out your orgasm and he regains composure. He loosens his grip on your hair slightly as he leans in and showers you with praise.

Good girl, that’s good.

There you go, come all over my cock.

So perfect, bebita, take me so good, make Papi feel so good.

Once you deflate against the mattress, he resumes his movements, slowly picking up his pace again until he’s pummeling into you and tears are streaming down your ruddy cheeks. 

Your skin is tacky where it meets with Javier’s pelvis, the moisture there accentuating the steady slaps and making the contact sting more with every powerful thrust.

You barely register him telling you he’s almost finished, another something about you being good for him. If not for the constant reassurance, you wouldn’t believe that you could keep this up.

“…one more for me..” he’s saying in a far away place. One more. Just one more.

You’re too preoccupied with that thought, repeating it over and over in your scrambled mind, to realize that he’s moved one of his hands. You scream when he makes contact with your clit, a sharp slap that lights nerves across your entire body. 

He slaps in quick succession, the resulting sting making your hips buck backward as you try to get away from it. Each time you do so, you impale yourself further on Javi’s dick, and he moans loudly, whereas it causes you a light pain, it spurs him on.

Every nerve feels like it's on fire and you swear you’re going to black out by the black that swirls into your vision. You hear yourself begging, pleading for him to be done, and then a strangled cry as you come around him again. 

You’re completely fucked out, your body limp and your ears ringing. Your eyelids drop closed and you have no control of what comes out of your mouth, which isn’t much but a few wet and whiny breaths. 

You think Javi is saying something again, but the harder you try to listen, the less you hear. Just a soft grumble coming somewhere from far away.

Half a dozen more thrusts, and suddenly Javi’s pace is messy and uneven. His grunts grow deeper and his breaths more aggressive. you feel yourself being lifted up onto your knees, Javi’s arms being wrapped around you, and his head resting on your shoulder as he groans. 

You frantically grasp at his forearms for purchase as he finally stills inside to let his cum paint your walls. His cock throbs and pulses inside of you, making you whimper with even the slightest movement. 

When he’s done and his cum is spilling down from around his cock and down your thighs, he waits a few minutes, just catching his breath, and then he pulls out. He does it slowly, but even so, your body immediately falls limply onto the mattress without his support. 

He tuts from behind you smooths your messy hair down, a gentle touch after using you so recklessly. You’ve stopped crying, your breaths evening out slightly. Every cell of your body is exhausted. Completely spent. When your eyelids drift closed again you don’t bother to stop them. 

“I’ll be right back, Hermosa,” Javi says as he gets up and pulls on his tight jeans. There’s a sudden smokeyness to the air that tells you he’s already lit a cigarette. He pets your head one more time before exiting the room, but by then you’re already asleep. 

***

I would appreciate some input on this one because I am actually working on a dark!Javi series right now. Don't feel like you have to, but if you enjoyed this dynamic, please let me know! Thank you for reading either way! <3

Biggest, fattest thank you to @mandoalorian for hosting this challenge!

Link to prompt list

“Yes, sweetheart, of course. Is everything okay?” 

The sincerity in Javi’s voice makes you want to melt. Only this man would be so kind and caring as to go out of his way for you without an explanation. He must have just gotten home, too, because you’ve only been in your house for about fifteen minutes. 

You know he must hear the sniffle from your end of the phone, because he immediately sounds more concerned than anything. 

“Sweetheart?” 

Taking in a gulp of air, you glance at your dad who is still watching you with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a deep scowl on his face. You let your gaze flicker back down the tile floor, not wanting to see his obvious disgust for any longer than necessary. 

“Not really,” you admit, biting your lip to keep it together. “I’ll tell you when you get here. I h-have some stuff to take too.” 

You hear him mutter a curse as you blink and another tear races down your wet cheeks. 

“Okay, I’ll be there soon, honey. Just hang on a minute,” he says.

He sounds extremely worried, and you can tell he would rather stay on the phone with you to make sure you're safe, but he has to let you go so he can get to you in person. He hangs up and you set the receiver down. 

“I-I have a friend coming to get me,” you tell your father, much quieter than you would have liked to be.

“Go ahead and get your shit out of here,” he says as he starts to walk back into the kitchen, not bothered enough to spare you more of his time. Your mom has already busied herself with the dishes, but you swear you see tears cradling her face. 

Your stomach drops for what has to be a hundredth time today, but you have nothing better to do, so you drag yourself back to the pile of your stuff. You want nothing more than to disappear. Just to sink into a hole and curl up some place nobody can find you. You can’t believe you could be so selfish and stupid. But can they really blame you for doing something for yourself for once?

Taking a deep breath and coming to a stop in front of your stuff, you pick up the box sitting on top. It’s not a large pile; a lot of your possessions got left at your old apartment when you high-tailed it out of there, but you’ve never been one to keep a lot of stuff anyway. 

You only have to take a couple trips to have all of your things in a neat stack near the driveway. You’re just balancing your last suitcase when you hear a small voice from behind you calling your name. 

You spin around on your heel to see your sister leaning on one of the porch columns. She’s clearly been crying, and it sends a pang of regret through your body. One look is all it takes for her to be hurdling herself your way and engulfing you in a hug. 

Your arms wrap around her as you allow yourself to sob, feeling her own sadness shake the both of you as she rests her chin on your shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” you manage to choke out. Her hand comes to stroke your hair as she shakes her head lightly in disapproval. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Her confession only brings another round of tears to your eyes. 

“I promise to call you every day,” you sniffle into her hair. 

She nods again, silently agreeing. 

“As long as mom and dad will let me,” she says. 

You know Javi’s going to be here any minute now, and you don’t want to get her in trouble, so you pull away with as much of a smile as you can muster. 

“I’ll be okay,” you tell her with a squeeze to her shoulders. The look on her face absolutely breaks you all over again. She nods solemnly and pulls you in for one more good hug as you exchange ‘I love you’s, and then turns back to the house before she finds herself unable to let you go. 

It’s while she’s walking back inside that you hear the sound of Javi’s truck coming up your gravel drive. He hops out and is at your side in less than ten seconds. 

“Hermosa,” he greets you frantically, gently grabbing your cheeks with both hands to tilt your head and examine you for injuries. His shoulders sag with relief when he sees none. The action makes your stomach flip, and you really wish it would stop doing that. 

He looks behind you to eye your stuff. 

“Let’s get you out of here.” 

You nod and follow him to start moving your things again. Neither of you talk as you load everything you own into the bed of his truck and strap it down, the brief looks you cast at each other have enough meaning for you to have had a full conversation anyway. 

Once everything’s packed, you take one last look at your house, a wave of hurt washing over you. There’s so many memories here. Sure, not all of them were great, but it’s your entire childhood. You’re leaving your entire childhood, and that sentiment just isn’t settling with you. 

Javi has to pull you out of your trance by carefully taking your hand in his and motioning that it’s time to go. The look on his face isn’t quite of pity, but more of discern. You feel seen and heard for one of the first times in your life, and that thought doesn’t escape you. 

You follow after him, and he opens the passenger door for you before helping you in like the gentleman he is. You flash him as much of a smile as you can muster as you help lift yourself up. He shuts the door behind you, gets in on his side, and you’re backing down the drive before you can even process the fact that you’re really leaving. 

Javi asks you to tell him what happened after a couple minutes of letting you calm down, and you explain it all. You break down in the middle of the explanation, but he’s patient, and tells you to take all the time you need. It doesn’t take long for you to have everything out, but you feel like you’ve been wrung dry after the fact. 

It hurts even more to say everything out loud, to admit that your parents hate you because you wanted happiness. Javi consoles you, wrapping an arm around you when you slide over to lean into his side on the bench seat. 

He lets you get all your tears out, shushing you and planting gentle kisses on your head as you wrack sobs into his shoulder. It’s painful, but once you’ve cried all the tears you could, there’s a sense of lightness that consumes you. You try not to focus on the lingering pain in your chest as you look out the window.

The morning looks just as beautiful as it had earlier, but the sight makes your stomach churn this time. You’d been so stupid and unassuming on the ride home. The gentle glow now signifies nothing more than ignorance and an unreadable future. You can’t believe it was just over an hour ago that it had meant something else entirely. 

“Sweetheart,” Javi breaks the temporary silence. 

You look at him through your wet lashes, your head still propped on his shoulder because you don’t think you can hold it up without support right now. 

“I’m going to take you to my place, but I want to ask you something first.” 

You pick your head up now, both because of the relief from hearing him say that, and also from the hint of something in Javi’s voice that sounds a little like nervousness. 

“Thank you, Javi,” you tell him as sincerely as you can. You would literally have nowhere to go without him. “What do you want to ask?” 

He looks at you, and you swear you see his eyes light up the tiniest bit. He must see the gratitude written on your face. 

“You know I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe, right?”

His question takes you aback. Of course you do, how could he even ask that? He’s been nothing but kind to you and has only ever had the best intentions. 

“Yes, Javi, of course,” you say, turning to him fully to emphasize your truth. You need him to know how much you trust him, how much you appreciate the care and attention he provides you with. 

He turns back to the road, but you catch the way one corner of his mouth tugs up ever so slightly. At least he seems to know you’re sincere. 

“Well, I think there’s something we need to do to make sure you’ll stay that way.” 

You keep quiet. Your interest is piqued but you stay silent for him to continue. 

“I think that your parents shouldn’t be able to get to you anymore. Even though they kicked you out, we don’t know if they’re done bothering you.” 

Your brows furrow. 

“I don’t know, I really don’t think they would have any reason to come after me,” you say, perplexed as to why he would think such a thing. Sure, your parents are kind of assholes, but they’re not insane. They wanted you gone, and you’re gone. That’s that. 

You miss the way Javi’s jaw ticks as you turn back to lean against your seat. 

“I know, honey, but it’s always best to play it on the safe side.”

You try to think about what he’s telling you, but it still doesn’t sound like they would be a threat. 

“Especially if you get a job now that you’re not working for them anymore. What if they find out where you applied or where you’re working, and try to get you fired or declined? They could also tell people about what happened, and this town’s not going to take kindly to that.” 

That, on the other hand, sounds a bit more realistic. You wouldn’t exactly put something like that past them. 

“And you need to get your address and home number changed, which is going to be a pain in the ass, and will probably require some interaction with them.” 

You bite your lip. He has a point, but you still have no idea where he’s going with this. He glances back over at you and sees the contemplative look on your face, his features softening. 

“I know it’s a lot, sweetheart, but I’m just trying to look out for you.” 

You look at him, catching his gaze. His eyes brows are set in a worried place, concern lacing his features. It makes your heart melt a little bit, to know this man cares so deeply for you. 

“I know, and I really appreciate it, but there’s not much I can do about it,” you tell him. He bows his head slightly. 

“Actually,” he starts. “I was thinking that I might have the solution. It would make me feel better to know you’re safe as well, cariño.” 

His hand grabs tighter to yours as you worry your lip. You have this funny feeling in your stomach that you can’t decipher. 

“What’s that?” 

“You can marry me.” 

If you had been driving, the truck would have jolted to a stop. All the breath is knocked from your lungs as you stare at the man who was able to say something like that so casually. Marry you? You’ve only known him for a couple of months. 

“W-what?” you squeak out with the little bit of breath you have left. He shrugs lightly, as if those words didn’t have any kind of an impact on him. 

“That way, you can change your name, number, and address without any hassle. You’ll be able to hide your identity for the most part, and you won’t have to worry about the logistics of that other stuff.” 

You just stare at him, your jaw open slightly. 

“I can keep you safe that way. Nobody will mess with you if they know you’re mine.” 

You feel something tug at your chest when he says that. Maybe officially being his won’t be so bad. You know you’re fast on the track of falling completely for this man anyway. 

You close your mouth to swallow, thinking over your options with a racing heart. It really does make sense to do that, but you can’t see it happening. 

“I don’t know, Javi…” you trail off, a little lightheaded from the suggestion. 

Javi sighs and checks the rearview mirror before pulling to the side of the road. 

“What are you doing?” 

He ignores your question and instead reaches a hand in front of you to open the passenger glove box. He moves a couple of papers out of the way, and out comes a small, velvet box. Your breath seizes in your throat. 

Javi turns to you, looking at you with the saddest, most pleading eyes you’ve ever seen. There’s a gleam to them, showcasing both the hope for a yes, and the nervousness of you saying no. 

“I knew from the first date, hermosa, that I was going to have you some day,” he starts. Your eyes get misty all over again. This isn’t just him offering you a solution. He wants you, and you honestly can’t even comprehend why a man like him would. He opens the box in his hand, and you gasp. The most beautiful ring you’ve ever laid eyes on lays snug in the small pillow inside of it. 

“I want to be the one to take care of you, to hold you, and to love you, for the rest of your life. Please be my wife,” his voice cracks on that last sentence, and you lose it. 

You throw your arms around him, a couple of tears escaping as you do so. 

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” you choke. You’re filled with a warmth that almost completely replaces the hurt that had consumed you. He really, really wants you, and you don’t know if you’ll ever get used to feeling so special. 

Javi lets out a shaky laugh filled with relief as he hugs you back and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“You know I would do anything for you, right?”

“I do,” you nod at him with watery eyes. “Thank you, Javi.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart. You’re about to make me the happiest man alive.” 

***

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A couple of nights, he comes home a bit later, and you suspect that he’s been to the bar on those days because he comes home already drunk off his ass. You don’t know what’s worse—watching the buildup or being hit with dread as soon as he walks through the door. There have been a couple days where comes home and doesn’t touch a drop, and you savor them. Those precious moments you get with him when you know he’s listening to you and giving you his time instead of the alcohol.You like to just pretend that everything is okay on those days, because blissful ignorance is better than ruining those good moments by thinking about the bad. Knowing you have days like that, though, makes it so much worse when you go to him, wanting to talk or simply be around him, and then feel the disappointment when it sinks in that he’s already gone. 

It hurts every time he does it, because it makes you feel alone again. You’ve come to understand that he turns into a different person when he drinks, a person you don’t know. This new person—this stranger—likes to hurt you. He’s rageful and hateful and relentless and overpowering. You take a sip of your coffee from where you’re currently sitting at the kitchen table and shiver at the memory of just last night, when he’d fucked you deep into the mattress and spilled within minutes before collapsing on top of you, dead asleep. You keep telling yourself that you wanted it, but you know better. You’d told him no, and when he ignored you, you’d gotten scared. So you let it happen. It’s your own fault for being weak and you know it. 

Besides, that voice in your pounding head challenges, what kind of a woman doesn’t want to make love to her husband? What kind of woman doesn’t want to feel her lover’s touch?

It shames you both ways. Not wanting him but letting him take what he wants anyway. You think that you might be doing it because fighting would make it real. If you just let it happen, he’s not taking anything from you. Maybe if you just let it happen, he’ll stop.

Lies, that other part of your brain spits at you. The more logical one. 

You take another sip to smooth out the knot that’s formed in your throat. You pretend that it was never there. You’ve been doing a lot of that lately. 

It seems like every day gets worse. He gets meaner and he takes more and more. You can tell that there’s something making him do it, something controlling the impulse to pick up that bottle and down the entire thing. You wish desperately that he would just talk to you, or that you at least knew what it was so that you could help, but you’re just as useless with that as you are everything else. You want to kill the stranger inside of him. You want to pull him out and gut him and hurt him in every way he’s hurt you. You just want your Javi back. 

But even then, it wouldn’t be the same, and you’re painfully aware of that. It’s still awful and wrong, even now, in those moments he is there. When the Javi you know and love is dormant and there to hold you like nothing’s wrong. The worst part because you don’t know if he remembers everything he does to you. It doesn’t make sense, because you know he sees the bruises that cover your body some days, the way you have to limp when you’re too sore to walk right. You see the glint in his eye when he reaches for you and you flinch away. He can see the physical bruises just as well as your mental wounds, but he acts oblivious, like he’s not to blame for your pain. 

You ignore the tear that slips down your cheek as you catch yourself caught up in it again. It’s so fucking hurtful and confusing. You want to pretend, too. Pretend that none of it ever happened, but you’re the one who has to wear the consequences, so you have no choice but to face them. 

You asked him one morning, when you’d woken up and caught him sober as he was getting ready for work, why he’d hit you the night before. The night before when he’d stripped you and taken you to bed and covered your mouth with his hand when you began to sob. You didn’t mean to, but as you’d tried to get him to stop, you felt skin between your teeth. Just to see if he remembered, you asked him. You know you shouldn’t have, but you were so tired and the hole in your stomach was so large that you needed to know. Just to see if you could find an excuse to forgive him and close it up.

But Javi had stopped and watched you for a moment before his eyes darkened and he looked at you like he was angry at you. “You fucking bit me. What did you think was going to happen?” 

You’d just laid back down and let the tears ease you back to sleep. He knows what he does. You know he does. He just doesn’t care. But why? Why doesn’t he care? Regret it? Feel sorry? What happened?

You’ve become numb with each day that passes, more accepting of the fact that you need to stop letting your emotions control you. The anger, the fear, the hatred. You can still feel it lingering somewhere deep inside of you, waiting for the right moment to pounce, but you’re content to just ignore it for now. Ignore everything that makes you question why. It’s like a tightness around your heart, a shield that went up without your permission. And maybe it’s for the best, but you wish it would drop at least a little, because you feel like you haven’t been able to be yourself around Javi in days. You can tell he sees it, too. But he never says anything. Does he even care that you’re changing, that he’s the one who’s changed you?

You set your now-cold coffee down and look out the window. How the fuck did you get here? You’re so tired of your every day being this. Alone in the apartment, and then scared when you’re not. Sometimes, you don’t know what’s worse. There’s days when you get the idea to just leave, but you know better. You can’t. Your husband is still here, somewhere. You can’t leave him because it would break your heart completely, and not being around him at all is something you can’t handle. And even if he wasn’t, that man who’s replaced him would find you. You know it in your gut that he would. 

You let out a shaky sigh, brush away your tears, and stand up. At least you have things to do today instead of sitting in silence. As far as you know, Steve and Connie are still coming over Sunday night for dinner. The house isn’t too messy, since you usually start your days with tidying up the mess from the night before, but there are things that can be cleaned more thoroughly. The kitchen needs to be scrubbed, the living room tidied. 

Javi had woken you up before he left this morning and asked what you plan on making. He’s going to bring the ingredients home tonight so that everything will be ready for you to start tomorrow. You’re actually excited about that. Not just about seeing people again, but also about putting together an elaborate meal. Recently, it’s been whatever kind of soups or sandwich stuff that Javi brings home for you to make. It’s been too long since you made something more complex than a casserole. 

You bring your mug to the sink and start with that, rinsing it and placing it on the side with the rest of the dirty dishes. You take one look at the massive pile and decide you’ll do that last. You absolutely despise doing the dishes, Besides, leaving it for last will be more rewarding once the pile is gone and everything is officially spotless. 

You start instead with the living room, and then the bathroom, and then the bedroom. It takes all day, but you’re proud of the result by the time you’re ready for the kitchen. It all looks as good as the first time you cleaned it, not a speck of dust in sight, everything in its rightful place. You’re proud of yourself, and catch yourself genuinely smiling as you make your way to the dishes. 

You’re in the kitchen, filling up the sink with water, when he gets home. Keys rattle in the door, making you jump in surprise. It’s only then that you notice it’s gone dark outside. Your eyes flick up to the clock, and your stomach churns when you see the time. It’s almost 12:00am. It shouldn’t take that long to go to the grocery store. You know immediately where he’s been. Your body goes taught as you hear the door shut behind him. He doesn’t announce himself, but you can hear his heavy footsteps as he walks through the house to get to you. They sound wrong, like he’s stumbling. 

Your hands begin to shake as you push the faucet to stop the running water and wipe them down on your shirt. You feel more than see Javi’s broad form stop in the doorway beside you, and you contemplate greeting him, but you don’t know how his day’s been so you don’t want to start anything if he wants silence. 

You pick up one of the plates from the pile beside the sink and dunk it slowly into the water before pouring a bit of soap on it, continuing to avoid eye contact with your husband. The gentle scrub of the sponge against the ceramic and the occasional drip of excess water is the only sound to be heard throughout the house. 

You can feel his eyes on you, and you have to physically resist the urge to squirm beneath his heavy gaze. You just try to keep your breathing steady and focus on your task. 

“Not going to ask me how my day was?” Javi’s voice is hard. Cold. It makes you shiver. Wrong choice, then.

“How was your day?” Your voice in contrast is meek even as you look at him and flash a smile. So small it makes you want to slap yourself. You just blink and keep washing the plate in your hands. 

Javi sighs loudly as he leans against the door frame, as if thinking it over. “How was your day, sweetheart?” He starts to walk toward you, coming up behind you and putting his hands on your waist, ducking down a bit to press his lips to your neck.

“It was fine,” you say, though there’s a pang of hurt as you wish so badly that he was asking genuinely. That he wanted to talk to you, wanted to be here with you. 

He nods against you, his hands traveling down to your waistband. You squirm a bit but try to hold still in hopes that he’ll just stop. “Just fine, hm? I can make it better.” Your eyes shut. Of course he wouldn’t. 

“No, thank you, my day was good. I’m just tired.” You start to push his hands off of you, but he doesn’t allow it. 

“Well, I didn’t have a very good day,” he counters. “I was looking forward to coming home and fucking my sweet, pretty little wife, ‘n’ then she tells me she doesn’t want me.” 

Irritation prickles at your neck, warring with the fear that’s made a home there already. “That’s not what I said, Javi, and you know it.” 

“Oh, but it is.” He pulls you tighter, slipping one hand down your shorts to feel your panties. You whimper, trying to get out of his grasp. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, baby. Fucking scared. disgusted” 

You freeze against him. 

“I don’t want you to be scared, sweetheart,” he coos. He brings the hand that’s not cupping your pussy up to your cheek, brushing away a tear with his thumb. “But your tears are so fucking sweet that I just can’t help myself sometimes.” 

You shake as he slowly brings his thumb up to your lips, pressing harder and harder until you’re forced to let him in and taste the salty drop on your tongue. 

“I do it for you, baby. You know it’s all for your own good.” He makes your head nod up and down with the hand grasping your chin. “Just gotta keep you safe.” 

He pulls his thumb from your mouth, a quiet sob leaving you as he does so. He grasps your hip again and grinds your ass into his erection. “And you don’t even care to show your thanks.” He tuts, and even the mock disappointment in his tone makes you want to crumble and cry. “Thought you were better ‘n that, sweetheart.” 

You’re gasping in quiet and shallow breaths at this point, your face heated with shame. You know it’s not him talking, but you can’t help but hate yourself for what he’s telling you. You’re a disappointment. He thought you were better. You’re a screwup to him just like you are for everyone else. The voices and taunts swirl around in your head until you’re so overwhelmed that you have to close your eyes to settle them. 

“Stop!” The ferocity in your voice surprises even you. The anger and hurt revealed is raw and visceral, out in the open for him to catch a glimpse of what you’re feeling inside. “Get your hands off me, Javi.” 

He chuckles darkly into your hair, his hand now coming to your throat. You swallow thickly and stiffen as he loosely wraps it around your neck, holding you close to him. He doesn’t apply pressure, but it’s enough to make you bite your tongue to stifle anything else that might want to slip out. 

“I don’t think you’re really in a position to be demanding things, baby,” he says the words gently. “Why don’t you try asking nicely.” 

You blink, and all you can think is that you’re so fucking tired. “Please let me go,” you give in and whisper. 

“What was that?” His hand tightens ever so slightly, and then slackens again. You eye his booted foot next to yours, and get the idea to stomp on it, but you know why that’s not a good idea. You speak up.

“I said, please let me—” 

He tightens his grip, crushing your windpipe as he holds to the point where you can’t draw a breath. “Thought I fuckin’ told you who was in charge,” his voice comes to your ringing ears. He keeps still as you struggle, even though you’re trying your hardest not to. “Don’t make me have to remind you, sweetheart. I don’t like to see you hurt, but I can’t promise anything if you keep acting so high and fucking mighty.” 

He lets you go, and you practically collapse against him. He wraps his arms around you and you lose it. 

“Leave me alone, you fucking bastard!” You scream at him with the first breath you can manage, spinning around and backing away as you push and hit at him, trying to get his arms off of you. If you can just get away, maybe you can lock yourself in the bedroom and wait until he’s taken his anger out on something else. You don’t feel bad at all as you claw at him. You manage to get an arm loose and you use it to land a slap to his face. His hold on you loosens the slightest bit, and you use the chance to scramble away even as your stomach drops as you realize what you just did.  

You should have known better. It all happens in slow motion as your head comes into contact with the lip of the counter, right by the sink. He’s forced you back around and is now folded over you, using one hand to shove your shorts down and the other to pin the back of your neck down. “Fucking bitch!” he yells into your ear, and you know that you just made this worlds worse for yourself. 

You heave wet sobs as he brings his fingers to your bare cunt and roughly shoves two inside, your hips bucking as you try to get away. You’re yelling something as well, something that sounds a lot like ‘stop’, over and over again. 

You can’t focus on whatever words are spilling from his mouth now, only on the ringing on your ears and the water sloshing around in the sink only about an inch away from you. A jolt of deeper fear runs through you as you catch the gleam of it, and you scream and cry louder and struggle even harder, trying to do something, anything, before Javi gets the idea that just flashed through your head. 

Maybe it was your own fault with all the screaming, or maybe he saw it at the same time you did, but his hand on your neck starts to move higher, until it’s on the back of your head. You resist as much as you can, not even feeling his defiling fingers anymore as your nose touches the soapy water and pieces of your hair grow heavy as they soak it up. You can tell the second you’re going to lose the fight, and you realize that you’ve never been so terrified in your life. 

Between the sobs and screams and tears, you don’t get much of a breath before you’re being submerged. Your body flails wildly, and you think in that second that you’re going to die. He’s going to kill you. The terror running through your body is indescribable. You just want to scream but you can’t. You want to close your eyes and go before you lose the small breath you have and water floods your lungs. It feels like a nightmare, like it’s not real, can’t be happening to you. But it is, and you don’t understand why. What the fuck did you do to deserve this? 

You push and push up with all your might, using your hands against the counter and your entire body to try to lift your head, but he keeps his hand on top, not letting you breathe the surface no matter what. You feel so pathetic as your body shakes with silent cries that you’re forced to hold in through the panic.

You almost forget about everything else until you feel his cock push inside of you, and you scream. You forget, and upon the burning sensation as he forces himself into you, you open your mouth and take in gulps of water. Your body surges with pain and fear as the burn spreads up to your chest and then to the rest of your body. 

This is the end, this is the end, this is the end. 

Everything you’ve ever known will be gone. Your family probably won’t even know what happened, won’t care. Nobody will. Maybe Javi will eventually, if he ever comes back. Your vision starts to go black, and your body slackens, your hands falling uselessly as you lose the energy to fight. He’s going to hate himself, you realize. And that thought may hurt you most of all. He’s going to be alone, just like you. You won’t be there to help him. Your Javi is going to be devastated. 

That’s the last thing through your mind as your consciousness fades to black. 

*****

The end.

******

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Next chapter will be up next Friday 😘

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