#daniss

Evie was curled beside Nova, braiding her hair as Nova ate a bowl of yogurt with fruit mixed in. It was one of the only foods that she could consume without throwing up, oddly. She was on forced bed rest after returning from an overnight stay at the hospital. Frankly, she didn’t understand why they made her stay the night anyway; the biggest injury she had was her arm probably. But hospitals were weird about things like that, always wanting patients to stay longer than they needed just to stay safe. Nova did cut her head open from the broken glass, but at most she had a continuous headache that was only a minor annoyance. 

Multiple times a day, Nova had to listen to her mom lecture her on how irresponsible she was and how lucky she was to come out of the accident the way she did and not dead. While she was right, the constant reminder gave Nova a greater headache than the stitched up cut across the side of her head. 

“Does it hurt?” Evie asked, breaking the silence. She normally wasn’t so docile with Nova, but since the accident, she had started showing her soft side a little more. It was pleasant.

“Does what hurt?” Nova made the mistake of shifting her body slightly toward her sister. A sharp, agonizing pain shot through her right side. The bowl clattered to her lap as her good arm went to the ice pack over her ribs. Because of this, as well as her broken arm, Nova resorted to only wearing sports bras and sweatpants since she got home. 

“Well, I was going to say your arm, but clearly I’m thinking about the wrong thing.” Evie was unfazed at Nova’s pain. 

After a moment, letting the pain ease enough for her to talk, Nova relaxed and picked her bowl back up. “It’s not that bad. Just...a different kind of pain than what I’m used to.”

Evie hummed in thought. She tied up the second braid on Nova’s head, giving her pigtails. There were big strands hanging out from the woven pattern, due to Nova’s hair being so short, but it was good overall. Impressive, almost, for Evie’s age. 

Nova turned the channel on her television, figuring she should check in on the news. It was nearing the evening, and she hadn’t seen any news coverage that day. The show that talked about the latest celebrity gossip was still on before the nightly news. It took a moment to figure out what they were discussing, but once they showed detailed pictures of the crash, Nova let out a sigh.

Beside her, Evie stilled, hand falling from Nova’s hair. They watched the coverage together in silence. 

“...ran a red light, causing an incoming car to hit the backside of her vehicle and flipping the car over onto its hood.” The woman shook her head. “First responders were quick to the scene. Artino appeared to be the only one hurt in the incident.”

“She’s lucky no one else was hurt in the incident, Heather. The other party involved has chosen to not press charges” the man added with a grim smile. “The cause of the accident is still unknown. For now, the world can only wonder what this means for Artino’s future with the Renegades.”

“You make a good point, Steve.” Heather tapped her long, fake nails on the glass desk in front of her. “The Council, however, refuses to make any comment at this time. As for Artino, she is at home-”

Nova turned the channel again to a different news station, one she knew wouldn’t report gossip about her life. The pain from her screw up was almost as bad as her injuries. She hadn’t received a call from HQ since returning from the hospital, but her wreck was plastered on every tabloid and the main discussion of every news station, it seemed like. The car was totaled, flipping over after being t-boned in an intersection. The young couple that hit her had been nice, more worried about her crawling out of an upside down car and the blood streaming from her forehead than the severely dented front of their car. They had even called for an ambulance themselves, and stayed with Nova while the police and fire truck and ambulance showed up. Nova remembered thinking of what her father had told her about what to do if she ever got in an accident, his lectures including to keep a safe distance from the other party and to not speak to them until the police arrived, but they had been so kind to her, and she had been so out of it and dizzy that she didn’t care. 

“People will forget about this in a week.” Evie reached for Nova’s forgotten spoon and took a nibble of her yogurt. “Some stupid couple will get engaged and the media will go nuts.”

Nova swallowed. “Yeah. I know.” But she was lying. They wouldn’t forget. Evie was just trying to lighten the mood. 

From downstairs, the doorbell rang. Evie sprung from Nova’s bed to go peek at whoever it was, ever the nosy little bug. She took the now empty yogurt bowl with her. Nova returned her focus to the TV, wanting to forget about the accident and everything surrounding it. 

Clearly the universe wanted to see her suffer. 

Mom called out Nova’s name from below, followed by a string of commands to Thomas in Tagalog that Nova didn’t fully catch. She could hear the pounding of her baby brother’s feet on the hardwood floor as he ran up the stairs and down the hall toward Nova’s room.

She heard him blow a raspberry at Evie, who must’ve terrorized him in some way when he passed, and then he was poking his head into her room. “Mommy said Adrian’s here,” he told her, eyes fixated on the ice pack on her side and the cast on her arm. 

Nova closed her eyes and sank a little, ignoring the pain from her ribs. She hadn’t heard from him since the other day, before her crash when she had gone to his house when she had nowhere else to go. When they kissed. But she knew he was bound to show up at some point, whether or not he was angry with her. Adrian was just like that. 

“Papa says you’re sad.” Thomas took a step into the room tentatively, chubby hand wrapped around the knob still. “That...that there is a lot of unhappiness in your life right now.” He worded everything slowly, trying out each syllable. Nova had to give him a supportive smile. She held out her arm, and he surged forward to climb onto the bed to give her a hug. 

“I’m fine, Tommy.” She pressed a kiss on top of his curls. “Well, I’m going to be.”

“Good.” His grin was toothy. Her heart warmed. “I hate being sad.”

Nova chuckled and ruffled his hair. “There’s a lot going on right now, Tommy.” When he frowned, she continued. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, though, okay? I upset people I care about, including Mommy and Papa, and that hurts me. But things are going to be better again. Soon”

There was a soft knock on Nova’s door. She looked up and froze. Adrian stood in the doorway, eyes searching her face and lingering on the cut across her head, then down to her stomach and arm. Her cheeks flushed under his stare. 

“Hey, Tommy, why don’t you see if Papa needs something downstairs.” Nova found her voice, trying to act calm despite the sudden increase in her heart rate. Tommy hopped off of her bed and skipped to the door, unbothered as all children are, and even greeted Adrian like nothing was wrong. Nova was envious of his childlike innocence sometimes. 

“Your mom let me up,” Adrian explained, now looking around her room curiously. Nova could tell he was bothered, though. His posture was always stiff when something was bugging him. He avoided eye contact. “I haven’t been up here in awhile. Not since last year. But even then, I didn’t get to look around much.”

“Well, not much has changed. I’ve mostly just thrown out what I have no use for anymore.” Her laugh was awkward, ending in a slight wheeze. 

“I saw your car.” She almost thought she saw him wince. It could’ve just been the meds she was on. “I guess you won’t be driving any time soon, huh?”

She could tell he was just trying to keep the mood light. At least it was something  different. Her team had all come by the day before with ice cream and Get Better Soon balloons. It was sweet, especially Ramona’s bad attempt at chastising Nova for being an idiot, but Nova was beginning to go stir crazy from all the attention she was getting. 

“No, but I’m more upset about the car.” She shrugged. “Edward was a good one. Gone, but not forgotten.”

A shadow of his normal, goofy self crossed his features, but only for a moment. Nova bit the inside of her cheek and patted the spot where Evie had been sitting, silently inviting him over. “How are things at Headquarters? Ramona said that since the wreck, they haven’t been given any assignments.”

“Normal,” Adrian said once he was settled beside her. He kept a safe distance from her, which stung slightly, but she understood. “Max is pissed off at you.”

A laugh escaped Nova’s lips, and she clutched her side at the sudden pain. Adrian’s eyes followed her hand, brow furrowed. Nova pretended to ignore his obvious concern. “Why? What have I done to possibly piss off the Bandit?

He looked back up at her and tried for a smile. “You haven’t been in to see him.” 

Nova rolled her eyes. Whenever she was at HQ, she always tried to make a habit of visiting Max’s quarantine before leaving for the day. “Well, you can tell him I’ll be back the second my mother lets me so much as stick one limb out of this bed.” 

“Noted.” His smile became a bit more genuine, much to Nova’s delight. And then it disappeared again. He scanned the minor cuts across her face and the larger one on her forehead, glanced over the tiny bruises here and there. “Nova, I’m so sorry this happened to you.” 

She blinked at him. “You’re sorry? This was my fault, Adrian. You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“No, I...I was wrong for kissing you when you were vulnerable like that.” He shook his head. “You needed a friend, and I was an ass.”

Her mind immediately went to the other day. Their kiss. The closeness. His lips on her neck and all over her face. She was still mentally kicking herself for initiating it in the first place. Every day, she had wondered what Adrian must think of her, yet here he was now, apologizing for no reason. This was Adrian, of course. He always apologized, even if he wasn’t at fault. That’s just who he was. But if he thought that there had been something wrong with the kiss (like Nova suspected) which caused her to push him away that day, then it truly was a mistake. She didn’t know what she was thinking. While she had been setting herself up for heartbreak since then, hearing his apology now was still a blow to her feelings for him. She should never have put him to sleep. Instead, she should’ve apologized before things went too far and hoped for forgiveness. Well, it was too late now. 

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Damn her racing heart. “I was the one who kissed you, remember? I should be apologizing.” She looked down at the covers. “For that, and for putting you to sleep. You were only trying to help me. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m really sorry.”

He let out a slow sigh. “It seems like we both fucked up then, huh?” Nova stared at him blankly. “Can we just...pretend that the kiss didn’t happen? Go back to how things were before?” Though it pained her to do so, Nova nodded and forced a smile. She was lucky enough to still have his friendship, after fearing he wouldn’t want anything to do with her after she revealed her true feelings for him.

“I’d like that very much.” Perhaps her biggest lie to date.

“Good.” He nodded hesitantly, as if something was still bothering him. “And what you told me? The Anarchists and the messages?” Thank every star above he changed the subject before Nova could dwell too much on her rejection. Not the best topic, though.

Nova clenched her teeth. “My parents are still mad about that, but I think they’re waiting until I’m a little better before they lay into me.” She paused. “Can we not talk about the rest of that right now? I’ll...I’ll tell you more later, but my head is throbbing right now and I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“Of course,” he responded, perhaps a little too enthusiastic. Their hands were still clasped together. She tried not to think about it too much. “But you need to address that soon, Nova. And tell the Council. It’s too serious not to. You could be in danger.” After a moment, he added quietly, “And I can’t lose you, too.”

“Hey.” She sat up a little. “I won’t let that happen. I’ll make this right. I promise.” And that’s all she chose to say for the rest of the subject. Things were too complicated right now. It would be too hard to tell Adrian that she was beginning to lose faith in the Renegades and the Council and their system, that while the Anarchists were terrible people, their beliefs weren’t all bad. Not now. Maybe one day. 

His posture relaxed a little. “Thank you.”

A small weight seemed to lift from her shoulders, but there was still more holding her down. She didn’t want to worry about that right now. Reaching for the remote, she turned to a movie channel that often played some of her and Adrian’s favorites. “Want to stay a while? I’m sure I could bribe Evie into making us some popcorn.”

She half expected him to say no, to laugh at her for even suggesting it. But he smiled and nodded, scooting further onto the bed until his back was against her headboard and he was inches away. 

Nova was still plagued by his words from earlier, even as they sat in silence watching the movie. It was a good one, set in a far away universe, but Nova could barely pay attention. How could they move on as though what happened between them was nothing? Did Adrian think that she had only been acting in the moment, and not from her true feelings? Is that why he wanted to forget it, for her sake? Or was he embarrassed for her? That wasn’t necessarily like Adrian, Nova knew that, but she couldn’t rule out any possibilities. Ever since they started hanging out again, Nova’s baby crush had grown into something much more. Before, it had been merely admiring how handsome Adrian was, or checking him out when his back was turned, or playful flirting passed off as banter, or entertaining the idea of going on a date with him late at night when she was alone. Now, well, it was indescribable. He was her best friend. The very thought of him brought a smile to her face. Everything about him was endearing, even the way he snored softly while asleep or forgot to wipe off toothpaste from that one spot on his chin in the mornings and Nova would have to point it out to him at HQ or how he completely zoned out when drawing. 

“Adrian.” He turned his head to look at her, eyebrows raised. They had only been watching the movie for about twenty minutes. Nova licked her lips before continuing. “I lied...about earlier.” When he frowned, Nova pressed on before she could be interrupted. “I don’t want to forget about the kiss.”

“What do you mean?”

She inhaled a shaky breath. “I understand if you want to go back to how things were, but I can’t just forget the kiss. Maybe you can but…” She searched for the proper words, “It meant too much to me. You mean too much to me.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for an answer. “I thought...after that, and what happened last year, you weren’t interested in me like that.”

She would have laughed if it didn’t hurt. “I thought my feelings were made pretty clear the other day. I was convinced you were the one who didn’t want that.”

He searched her face, shifting his body just a bit toward her. “You’re joking. Nova, I’ve-I’ve had the biggest crush on you since we were twelve. I thought you knew.”

It was Nova’s turn to be surprised. “I had no idea.”

“Well, you’re the one who’s always pushed me away.” He shook his head. “Skies, Nova, you put me to sleep mid-kiss. I don’t know about whatever world you’re from, but here, that usually means not interested.”

Her cheeks lit up. “I’m sorry about that, and every time before. I just…” she sighed, eyelids falling closed, “I don’t know. Being scared isn’t an excuse, but I was terrified that you would reject me.” She shrugged meekly. “We have so much history, and...and I don’t want to ruin that. You’re my best friend, Adrian.” 

She nearly jumped when he grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers. His palms were sweaty, but she didn’t care. “No, I-I understand. I’ve felt the same way.”

“I’m not good at this kind of thing.” She gestured between them awkwardly with her head. 

His laugh helped ease her nerves, his words even more so. “I know.”

She bit her bottom lip and avoided his gaze when she said, in a quiet voice, “Could we maybe try again?”

He bent his head down to look at her, and the look she got nearly made her slap him with a pillow. “You’re not going to put me asleep again, are you?” If it weren’t for the dorky smile on his lips, she definitely would’ve hit him. 

“I don’t know. If it makes that shit eating grin disappear, I just might.”

“That’s more like it,” he said, and before she could retort with something snarky, he leaned forward and kissed her. After a short moment, he pulled back, smile gone and eyes a question. Only when she nodded did he kiss her again, this time a bit longer.

Nova sighed against his lips and leaned into him as much as she could without it being painful. She let go of his hand and let her fingers trail up until they came to rest on his neck . She felt him curl his hand into her hair, pulling out her braids, before bringing both palms to rest on her cheeks. The feeling of his gentle caresses sent chills down her spine. His fingers traced a path around her face, as though he were trying to create a map to remember every curve and feature. Their last kiss had been frantic and needy, more passionate than perhaps meaningful. Nova supposed it was due to the circumstances, of course, but also from years of tension and misunderstandings. Now that she was aware of Adrian’s feelings, she was able to fully let go and kiss him without worry. 

He broke away, and Nova opened her mouth to protest. He silenced her by gently pressing kisses on her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her eyelids, all while murmuring her name and how much he adored her. Her heart swelled in her chest, and she brought his lips back to hers one last time before separating. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay so we were able to redo that,” he breathed, mouth brushing hers as he spoke. 

She rolled her eyes, but smiled and giggled. She let her forehead rest against his, closing her eyes. “Yeah. Me too.”