#dani5

Slightly let out a single, incredulous laugh—something between “hah” and “huh.” Not only was she right that it was too little, too late, but he didn’t understand why Dani would even bother at all, knowing that. Knowing that he would instantly decline that generous extension of the olive branch. What could she possibly get out of coming back months after they’d had their final falling out, and claiming that she wanted to be friends? “Why?” he demanded, shrugging almost aggressively in his dubiousness of her intentions. “Why would you want to be my friend?” What didn’t need to be spoken was the natural companion question, Why would I want to be your friend? He’d like to know if her reasoning was that, despite all appearances and actions to the contrary, she actually cared about him—or if she just wanted to stop feeling guilty over the way they’d ended and thought becoming friends would provide some form of closure. Not that she would likely be honest with her answer if it wasn’t what she thought he wanted to hear.

Of course, she had been honest in their last conversation, and perhaps he should give her props for that—for not taking him back under false pretenses when he had drunkenly serenaded her last March, and letting him into the truth about their break-up before he could debase himself by getting back into a relationship with her. He had been too busy reeling with the sting of learning that he had been cheated on mixed with the humiliation of just having asked her to take him back, to appreciate her honesty at that time. And now he wasn’t so inclined to care about it, because he felt no more regret over their failed relationship, nor any desire to try and patch up a friendship from the rubble.

Es tiempo de empezar de nuevo, desde cero, empezar a crecer, darte cuenta de que no hay nadie al final del túnel esperándote más que tú misma, que es momento de tomar todo ese amor que llevas dentro para salvarte a ti misma, para aprender a dejar ir las cosas y ser de nuevo tú, quererte tal cual eres, así estas bien.

No le tengas miedo a la soledad, ella siempre será parte de tú vida, sabes hacerlo bien así, la conoces, sabes como sobrevivir a ti misma y esta vez no debe ser la excepción.

Sabes muy bien que las cosas siempre pasan por algo, tal vez porque tu destino es hacer algo mejor y si es así hazlo y hazlo como sabes hacerlo, bien, se constante como siempre con lo que deseas, solo así se consiguen las cosas.

Eres una mujer muy fuerte y valiente, y lo sabes, sabes que muy dentro de ti esta todo lo que necesitas, ni más ni menos, que no debes buscar en alguien más completar tu vida, porque tú vida ya esta completa, tienes todo lo necesario para sobrevivir y no necesitas que otras personas te repitan las cosas que ya sabes y conoces de ti, recuerda que solo tu te conoces a la perfección.

Debe regresar esa Daniela feliz y enamorada de cada día, no te aseguro que siempre vivas momentos lindos, pero aprenderás de las cosas que vivas, saca lo mejor de todos los momentos que no hay mas tiempo para tirarte y seguir pobreteandote a ti misma por las cosas que te pasan, ya sabes que en cualquier momento la vida se te va y no lo puedes detener, siempre vive todos los días al máximo y lucha por hacer todo lo que se te ocurra.

Dani, muchos creerán que eres demasiado joven, inocente, buena, etc.,pero en realidad sabes que no es así y si no quieres mostrar lo contrario esta bien, no lo hagas, debes cuidar de ti porque nadie más lo hará. 

Recupera el brillo en tú mirada, tu sonrisa verdadera, tu tranquilidad y paz interior, deja esos pensamientos absurdos que contaminan tu cabeza y no te dejan seguir adelante, que te llenan de miedos e inseguridades, acepta que nada ni nadie es para siempre y que nadie es más importante que tu misma, pero que esta bien querer a los demás, pero nunca los quieras mas que a ti misma, no te pierdas nunca más intentando recuperar a las personas, no son tuyas, deja que vuelen, el pasado siempre vuelve, pero para cuando eso ocurra tú estarás bien, muy bien. 

Quierete, apapachate, cuídate, conócete, aprende a amar cada parte de ti que no tienes nada malo, eres un ser hermoso, lleno de amor y de cosas buenas para dar. 

There was a lot of traffic coming in to Avila Beach today; I sorta figured, since the weather was perfect in the middle of November and it was two days before Thanksgiving. I’m driving my red vintage VW bug up to my rental and there it is: a mob. Paparazzi, fan girls, and news reporters. EVERYWHERE. I guess people weren’t here for the beach.

“I am so sorry Dani,” Harry said. He seemed upset, but I just shook it off. I hate seeing people sad or awkward, I’ve seen too much sadness and I don’t like it.

“It’s alright, we’ll just go in from the back,” I said casually. “But just so we’re in privacy, do you think we could spend the night at your place until things die down?”

“Of course” he said as he took my hand off the wheel and kissed it. I will not be able to shake off the goosebumps I get from him.

We decided to park behind the property so that the mob couldn’t get in. We sprinted through the back door. He helps me pack but more than that he distracts me. Now and then he would hug me from behind and kiss my neck that sent tingles down my spine. I didn’t want it to stop! But the reality of it was we were being watched. I couldn’t leave the bedroom with out getting a picture taken of myself and Harry. But soon we were off and we got out of there as fast as possible.

“You know how difficult it was to not rip your clothes off in front of those cameras?” Harry asked cheekily.

“Geez, Harry, at least buy me dinner first” I said jokingly. He smiled then said, “Okay! I heard my hotel has a great dinner service.” I just rolled my eyes and thought of the irony: Harry Styles wanted me and is trying to impress me.

This is unreal.

~~~

We get off the freeway and drive to the Madonna Inn, the coolest hotel ever and probably pretty expensive. We walk into this room with blue walls and a giant fire place. There’s something about the homieness of a fireplace and the warmth that radiates off of it. I decided to tour the room, because I might as well soak it in while I can.

I go into the bathroom and boom: a rock shower. It’s this cascading waterfall of beauty. Okay, I’m definitely showering here, I thought.

“Do you like it?” Harry asked. In an instant, I replied, “It’s amazing.” I turn to him and wrap my arms around him. I didn’t realize until we were swaying that my favorite song was playing in the background. We were dancing, amongst the chaos of the mob, the thrill of the sand dunes, and the cool features of the room, we were just swaying together in unison like nothing else mattered. We danced for it seemed like hours. He lifted my chin and kissed me softly.

I felt like I knew Harry my entire life. We didn’t know each other’s (well at least my) pasts and bad experiences but we were connected by fate. The way he made me feel and the way he was without the fame was something I have never felt before.

We stopped kissing. Harry spoke, “I’m going to go into town and prepare for tonight. I want you to stay here and get ready, preferably wearing that sexy black dress I took the liberty of packing for you.” I smiled, he was so cute and manly and amazing and perfect. Realizing I would probably say something stupid if I said something more than necessary, I just said “Okay.” And gave him a kiss.

He pulled away. “I have to leave now before I get ahead of myself.” He said and then he left while I got to try out that magnificent shower that has been calling my name.

~~~

I put on the last swipes of mascara when I got a text from Harry.

Go to the restaurant and ask for the reservation “Styles.” They’ll lead you to our table :) xxHarry

I smiled and walked down to the restaurant and did what Harry’s text told me to do and the host led me down to a back private room when I immediately saw Harry, my Harry, wearing a gray suit with a black tie. Wow.

He didn’t stop smiling ever since we made eye contact. I was blushing and he was grinning. We kissed and soon stopped realizing we were in public. Then, he took my hand and led me to our table.

“You look beautiful,” He whispered in my ear. He was such a gentleman with pulling out my seat for me and everything. Then, he took his chair and moved it so he’s sitting catty-corner from me, making sure we were touching. How is he so PERFECT?

We got our menus from our candle lit table. Harry ordered steak and I ordered soup. There wasn’t much talking early on, mostly just kissing and holding. We got our food and we dug in.

“Dani, we need to talk about us.” Harry said abruptly. I got a little freaked out, but there wasn’t anything to worry about. “I really like you Dani. I know we’ve only known each other for a few days but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I never expected to feel like this ever and then you just came into my life. But I don’t know what to do, because your family comes in town and in a few days I leave for London again and then you have school. Dani, tell me what to do.” He looked extremely upset and confused and scared.

I didn’t know what to do. He was right. Our 1-weekish romance would end in a few days. “I guess we’ll make it work if that’s the only thing we can do. We’ll have a lot of time apart, obviously, but summers and vacations and everything in between. The truth is Harry, I feel the exact same way. You’re brilliant and gentle and caring and I don’t want to spend a long time with out you; but if it’s either that or not being with you than I’d rather do that.”