THE INTERVIEW NO ONE'S BEEN WAITING FOR: Jared Discusses Sic Waiting, Ass Hair and Touring to Mars in Interview with Himself
Thereās no one I like talking to more, or whoās opinion I respect more than Me. Just ask me. So when I asked Me for a short interview to discuss Sic Waiting, the current state of affairs, plans for the future, and life in general and I agreed, well needless to say I wet our pants just a little. Enjoy.
Jared: First off thanks for talking with me, Iāve really looked up to you for a long time. You are awesome and funny and you have cool-ass hair and your nose isnāt big at all.
JARED: No problem, and thatās only natural. Though we are the same height, you will always look up to me.
Jared: So letās start with the obvious, where the hell have you guys been this year?
JARED: Weāve been doing our own things a bit this year. Though we did do some rad shows with Unwritten Law, A Wilhelm Scream and the Flatliners earlier this year, we kind of fragmented off after last yearās national tour ended. Dylan moved to Texas with his girlfriend and got busy gettinā busy, and now they have a head-butting mini-shredder on the way. This is going to shock some people, but playing in an independent punk band isnāt as lucrative as it seems. So when you have a family starting, itās often better to make a graceful exit.
Brian has been married with child for years and always has worked at Costco like in that movie āThe Watch.ā Brian is in charge of the alien portal ray thing. They sample it every Saturday and Sunday at the end of the frozen foods aisle. He hasn't toured with us for years either, but he stopped playing locally and recording with us at the beginning of the year so he could get a bit more focused. Now he plays in a Bad Religion tribute band called Generator, and they kick ass. He also just got his pilotās license, so Iāll be taking the train everywhere from here on out. Just kidding, he is piloting our next tour like Bruce Dickenson did with Iron Maiden.
Gās still here talkinā all āNew Yawky,ā and has been a horrible influence on me this year because heās very persuasive and has a cultivated drinking habit like I do. However he also finished recording a record with his other band All Things End that is being released in the next few months. They are playing some shows on the east coast this winter, which of course is the best time to tour the east coast. If you like Off With Their Heads, Banner Pilot, Jawbreaker, Nothington etc. youād like All Things End.
Iāve been on a couple Dead Frets acoustic tours with Matt Salkeld this year, better known as SW roadie extraordinaire Bob Evans (look him up on the facebook), and Iāve been writing. We are hoping to get a split out by the time we hit the road again this December. Weāre gonna call it Dead Frets and Matt Salkeldās āHuge Steaming Pile of Split.ā He is not yet aware of this.
Jared: That answer was too long, and no one is reading anymore. You are boring, tighten it up. What about Dave? I met your drummer and his name was Dave, and he had cool hair and a lot of yellow shit.
JARED: Dave, who has done the last two national tours with us as well as saved our asses on a number of occasions and always at the last minute, has been working in Vegas and probably partying way, way too hard. Heās in a really good band called War Called Home. Heās also the fifth Ninja Turtle by night and I think heās going to kick my ass next time Iām near a sewer grate in Vegas to get me back for the torment I talked him into signing up for two years in a row.
Jared: Speaking of Vegas, didnāt you guys have a team at Punk Rock Bowling?
JARED: Had a team, got drunk, kicked ass and got 15th place, won $200, spent $200 at the bar within 15 minutes of receiving it, somehow ended up back in San Diego 3 days later. Oh and we got posters, which is sweet. The team was named 3 Drunks and a Driver, but it ended up just being 4 drunks and no driver.
Jared: Sounds fun, I sure wish I could have made it. So what about Sic Waiting? You guys are done?
JARED: Wrong, stupid. God, youāre so stupid. Iāve been writing for SW too and I have about a full-lengthās worth of material. Weāve demoed out about half of it and are in the middle of working out the rest. The acoustic shit is fun, but the SW shit is where my and our heart and total financial investment is. To quote every musician ever, āthis new record is going to be the best thing weāve ever done.ā But seriously though, this is going to be the best record weāve ever talked about doing. We have some cool people helping us get it done too. Anthony from Lowbrow is helping write it, Mike from Death by Stereo is helping out, Andrew from Surefire Loss is on it, etc. Itās a dysfunctional, disjointed way of doing things, but then that seems to be the only way we do things.
Weāre only playing one show until 2014 though, as far as I can tell. Itās October 11th in San Diego and itās our only SD show this year. Itās the Payoff (members of Bombpops and Murderland) cd release show. Gonna be a party. Iāll probably get drunk, ya know just to change things up not at all.
Jared: Why is everyone leaving? Are you that much of an ass hole? Or is it because you have stupid ideas for the band like interviewing yourself?
JARED: Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Sic Waiting has been at this for going on 14 years now. In any business weāre an exemplary failure. In punk rock thereās a prevailing mentality that the longer you ārage against the dying light,ā the more valid you become. Point is, this never was and still isnāt about accolades or bank accounts or validation. Itās just something I got used to doing and decided to keep doing. Some people come in and move out, some people come in and stay a while, thereās no one better than the other. Thereās just honesty, with yourself and the environment you choose to keep yourself in. That coming from the guy who created a fake interview to get his message out.
Jared: Way to be light and amusing, my many readers will appreciate your lack of brevity. Soooooooo anywaysā¦..whatās the plan for next year then?
JARED: Well if you know anything about this band you know that we ALWAYS make good on the things we say we are going to be doing in the next few months. That being reiterated, weāll be touring Syria right after the new year because we are expecting there to be a strong American fan base established there soon. Then on to Mars so we can play a show for the Curiosity rover and thus the whole planet. Then Oklahoma City to tattoo Garrett Dale from Red City Radio in his sleep and lastly to Port St. John, Florida so I can stop feeling bad about leading Lauren from Dying Scene on about playing there for three straight years.
Or the short answer: get lineup, record, release, tour. Same olā shit.
Jared: Your answers suck and Iām beginning to regret accepting this interview. But those all sound like some lofty plans for a guy with half a bandā¦
JARED: One more outburst like that and I will jump through this mirror and kick my ass, buddy.
Jared: OK calm down. Lastly, do you actually think people are going to be interested in reading an interview you conducted both sides of? Or do you think they will just think youāre a narcissistic dickhole dancing for attention?
JARED: Why thank you, Iāve had a pleasant time too. Of course I will autograph your baby.
