#danfic

so i'll start this out by saying there is no way in hell they're parting ways forever. i don't see a genuine reading of this where they don't see each other again. satomi has decided he wants kyouji in his life, and that everything else doesn't matter. of course he's calling him again. but that's not what this post is about.

the post is about the hug, the awkward, clumsy, barely hug, or more accurately the part where satomi holds his arms out for kyouji.

the entire series has been building up to satomi getting an understanding of kyouji, seeing him as a full person, an equal, rather than a specter. he starts the series (at least thinking) he feels he has an obligation to kyouji, and ends the series realizing he just wants to see him. just wants to be with him.

satomi holding his arms out is a moment that encompasses a lot of feelings, but i think to summarize the most important ones for me:

i love you, exactly as you are. i will wait for you, i will give you patience. but i will not let you stay where you are. i will not let you die like this.

and kyouji hugging him, awkwardly, is him saying okay. him saying thank you. him proving, no matter how difficult it is for him, he is willing to slowly progress for satomi's sake.

but really this isn't what the post is about either.

the post is about people saying that kyouji "fumbled," that he fucked up, that satomi should abandon him because he's put in enough effort and kyouji spat in his face, that kyouji did something unforgivably wrong in this interaction by not... sweeping satomi into his arms? by being awkward? by not telling satomi he loves him? by not trying hard enough?

a month after satomi told him he never wants to see him again after this interaction?

a handful of days after satomi couldn't answer when he asked "what do you want to do with me?"

after a lifetime of convincing himself that if he wants nothing, if he never lets anyone know that he wants something, then they can't hurt him by not giving it to him?

he is unforgiveable for not being fixed, pristine, reborn anew from a single instance of a teenager, whose life he believes he makes objectively worse, telling him he cares about him and wants to be with him forever?

yeah, kyouji doesn't deserve satomi's kindness. but satomi doesn't deserve kyouji's vulnerability. love is not earned, it is given. whether you deserve it or not. satomi loves kyouji -- and when i say love i don't mean in the romantic sense, i mean in the sense that i love my cats, and my friends, and art, and the rain, and a good clementine, and also the people i love romantically, i mean it in the sense of the profound care and joy something, someone, can bring out of you -- whether he deserves it or not.

and kyouji gives satomi his vulnerability. awkward. fumbling. not as much as satomi wants, but enough to start. not because satomi has earned it, but because he wants to give it to him. he wants to be loved. he knows he cannot do that from lightyears away, but the light still takes years to get there.

but ultimately, that's not what the post is about either.

but i think you knew that. i think you could tell.

the post is about how i see myself in kyouji. how i see myself in his fear of wanting. how i see myself in his willingness to give surface-level offerings of himself as object, but not as human being. i see myself in the way he is difficult to love, because he doesn't let anyone truly touch him.

the kindest, most loving thing people in my life have ever done for me is doing what satomi did in that moment.

giving me undeserved patience, undeserved love, but also holding me accountable; an amount of effort and care that is also undeserved. being willing to help me, when i am difficult to love, when i am hurt, when i am alone and don't know how to stop doing any of those things.

it hurt, it hurt, it hurt. when people said that satomi doing that for kyouji is a waste of effort. that kyouji's attempts, despite everything, to not let it go to waste were him fumbling and disrespecting satomi's effort. it hurt when people said he should be fixed by now.

it hurt, because im not fixed. because i might never really be completely fixed. because i might need patience forever. because i'm grateful to the people who have given me that undeserved patience. because im trying, even though i don't look like a person yet. because their effort has not been wasted. because i am getting better. because i can't do this alone.

being alone, being scared that you will be abandoned for needing to be cared for, is what makes you act like that in the first place.

Masterlist of the chapters for my warlord oc/mc fanfic for Nobunaga's "route" I'll also include the links to the prologue which comes in three parts.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Epilogue

Tragedy

2hr 25m

- this is a snippet of story I’ll be posting soon -

At first it felt like vacation. Just like every other year. Winter break was time for him and his family. But as the days went on he realized he didn’t have to worry about training anymore. Or worry about how long he’ll get home before going back in for testing.

There were no emails to leave on read for days. Micheal wasn't calling him to inform him of new meal plans. It was odd. He realized that he no longer had anything to worry about.

He had a house already, currently he was still getting furniture and unboxing his stuff. It was hard. He felt uncomfortable.

“The house is so big and lonely.” He had told his mom one morning. He was looking down at his plate of food, and didn't notice when she walked over to give him a hug.

She reassured him it wouldn’t be. That she and all his family were here. Told him that if he needed to get his next fix of adrenaline there were plenty of dangerous things to do in Australia.

He smiled as she kissed him on the cheek, but Daniel didn’t really know how he should be feeling now. He wants to feel fine but he doesn’t.

Just then his phone goes off. He was going to ignore it like he’s been doing for weeks now. But it doesn’t stop. The ping of messages and notifications flood in and his mom gives him a confused look as she leaves for the kitchen.

Daniel, very much annoyed now, pulls out his phone. There are messages from Micheal and Blake, some from Martijn, A lot of instagram notifications, a bunch from twitter.

he hasn’t done anything as of late to get in trouble or to break the internet like this. So curious he opens instagram, where all his Dm’s are just people forwarding a post to him.

He clicks it, Max? he wonders. A smile appears on his face at the thought of Max. He wonders what his favorite dutchman has been up to, to get this much attention. He wonders how the hell it even includes himself.

Maxverstappen1 ✔️

[a collage of Red Bull photos]

Maxverstappen1 Red Bull Is my family. It always will be. Families don’t end because someone moves away. I love and appreciate this team for everything they’ve done for me. They have always believed in me and In return I’ve always trusted them. The trust is still there, only I have new ideas on my mind. I have and always will love this sport. I thank everyone that’s been with me along the way, and I wish the best for all.

Thank you to all my Fans and supporters. This is not the end just the start of something new. ❤️😊

…

…

What the fuck?

…

A/N: this is a little bit unusual but I think it’s really intresting so intresting even that I’m considering to write more parts but only if you want that! this was again requested, big thank you for that! 

Word Count: 1.9K

POV: Reader

MASTERLIST // PART TWO // PART THREE // PART FOUR

“Agent Wolf, we need you to work together with Special Agent XY” The grand boss and organiser of our team explained to my dark haired colleague, speaking with a deep and powerful voice.  

“Why can’t I do it on my own?” Dan protested, visibly repelled by the idea of working with me.

“This task requires two people, if you can’t do that we will find an agent who will.” Our boss said sternly as he looked at him.

Howell and I had worked together before briefly in the past, but that was years ago when I had just started to work for the MI6.

Lets us just say that we didn’t get on very brilliantly and therefore also didn’t form the greatest team. We had one big mission during that time. We had to storm a building along with 10 other agents. Since I was a newbie Dan’s main job was to look after me, but I ended up saving his life by shooting a guy that stormed towards him from behind. Agent Wolf, the greatest man the MI6 could offer, was saved by a young woman, who was just a trainee. We barely spoke ever since, exchanged a few cold glances whenever we saw each other and had a few disputes during some briefings.

This was the first time that we had been teamed up after that incident. I had quickly gained a lot of approval and skill and without planning to I was suddenly the first person ever to become Special Agent in only three years.

“Your mission requires special outfits.” Our boss explained, making the two of us wonder what kind of extraordinary job we possibly could have been assigned to do.

When our equipment specialist walked into the room both of our mouth did indeed hang open in surprise. They were carrying elegant evening attire, a fancy but classic black suit and bow tie for Howell and a tight but long red dress for me.

“We smuggled you into the biggest event of the year, it’s a gala in the Royal Hall of London. Every influential person is going to be there, including our target Steven Hawkman. He is suspected to be a great threat to not only our whole country but also to other countries all over Europe.”

Dan and I sucked in every piece of information we were told, forgetting about the fancy clothing thing.

“You are going to go there as Mr and Mrs Goldsworthy, a young, married couple who has just made their first billion with their IT firm and who is also in direct line to the British throne.” Our boss kept explaining all the details we had to know in order to be authentic.

I shot Dan an awkward glance as soon as we were told that we are supposed to portray a couple. Howell faked an expression of disgust at the mention of it. I just shook my head in annoyance.

“During the Gala, there will be countless of times when Hawkman is not going to be in his special lounge. I want you to sneak in there and get us his phone.”

We both nodded to signal that we had understood, our faces full of determination.

“Now agents, you need to get dressed, our special team will also do your hair and makeup.”

“You’re gonna need a lot of makeup for her.” Dan joked mockingly, making me roll my eyes and hold back a remark on how childish he sounded.

“Can you do something about his terrible hair, it looks like a bird’s nest rather than a haircut?” I asked our styling team to tease him and judging by his facial expression it worked.

The tips of his ears had gotten red in anger but he didn’t have enough time for a mean comeback since we were both pulled in separate rooms in order to get ready for our mission.  

When I walked out of my “dressing room” Dan was already waiting for me. I could see his eyes widen as soon he saw me.

“Like what you see?” I asked him, with a light smirk on my face. The red dress fit almost like a second skin and hugged all of my curves perfectly.  

“N-no” he answered and swallowed hard. Howell tried to look at me derogatorily, but his red cheeks were prominent and everybody could see it.

He stared at the ground to avoid making eye contact or getting too distracted by my looks.

I had to admit he was pretty handsome as well. I would be lying if I tried to tell you that Dan isn’t attractive, I could never tell him that of course.

‘His hair is just so hot.  Oh god, I want to run my fingers through it’ ‘Wait Y/N- what the hell are you thinking about!’ I wanted to slap myself for having thoughts like this.

“Agent Wolf, Special Agent XY, are you ready?”

We both had to gather ourselves again before we shared a quick glance and nodded.  

“And remember, you are supposed the be a couple so act like one!” Our boss reminded us harshly, making my heart skip a beat and my palms sweaty.

We were driven to the gala in a fancy black limousine, throughout the whole ride we didn’t even speak once. Instead we avoided each other’s eyes but stole secret glances at the other from time to time.

‘You need to concentrate on the mission’ I scolded myself as I caught myself staring at how broad Dan’s shoulders looked in his black suit.  

Once the vehicle came to a halt I reached for the door, but Dan’s stern look made me stop in the middle of my tracks. He got out of the limousine himself and walked over to my side of the car to open the door for me. As he held out his hand for me to take I could hear him curse under his breath.

“Married to you. What a sick nightmare.” He mumbled but slung an arm around my back at the same time.

I could feel the warmth of his body incredibly close to mine as we walked into the building together.

“Mr and Mrs Goldsworthy” I told the security guard while Dan showed him our invitations to the event.

The man, who could have been hulks little brother, smiled at us before he let us in. Once we were inside I was overwhelmed by everything that was happening.

There was a huge dance floor, an orchestra and a band, a buffet that was approximately a kilometre long and waiters carrying champagne and prosecco.

A gigantic chandelier gave the whole hall a silvery sheen. There were hundreds of people sitting on round tables, standing or dancing. Each and every one of the guests showed off breath taking evening attire. It was a colourful whirl of ballgowns and black tuxedos.

I took Dan’s arm as we took a look around.

“Champagne for you?” A waiter asked us politely.

I smiled and nodded so Dan handed me a glass.

“Thank you, Darling.” I said earning a smile that almost looked painful from my co-worker.

We chatted a little bit while drinking the alcoholic beverage to not seem suspicious.

“All of this old geezers are staring at you.” Dan hissed almost angrily.

I turned my head to see that at least three very old but also very rich men kept gawking at my ass, making me almost groan in annoyance.

Dan seemed to be visibly disturbed by it as well and wrapped his arm tighter around me to protect me from their eager eyes.

“When did Agent Wolf become a gentleman?” I asked him and sounded almost like I was flirting, which I hadn’t intended. It just happened.

“Uh-“ He stuttered at first as his face grew a light shade of pink, but then he seemed to realise that we were supposed to hate each other. “I didn’t. It’s just part of the mission.” He grunted, making me roll my eyes.

As the first dance of the evening was announced we realized that this could be the perfect time to start our plan.

“Ready?” Dan whispered.

“Ready” I answered and we quickly but not suspiciously fast made our way up the stairs the box of Hawkman. Only very special guests were given theatre boxes at galas like this, luckily for us he barely used his.

We sneaked into the small room that was more like a balcony and immediately spotted his phone on the tiny table.

It was almost too easy.

Suddenly we heard footsteps coming closer. My heart started to beat immensely fast but my thoughts were still clear.

Once we realized that the person was indeed heading towards us we knew there was no escaping.

In the blink of an eye I went over all of the options we had left in my head and came to the conclusion that there was only one.

“Kiss me!” I whisper-yelled at Dan.

He stared at me as if I had completely lost my mind, while his eyes were almost falling out of their sockets.

“Wh-hat?” he stuttered in utter disbelief and his expression spoke of pure confusion.

“I said k- oh screw this.” I cussed as I threw my body onto his and connected our lips.

I couldn’t help but feel my heart jump in excitement and satisfaction as if it was shouting ‘Finally!’.

His lips were soft and pressed up against mine awkwardly at first, but as soon as he had recovered from his initial shock he started moving them against mine skilfully.

Somehow my hands found their way to his hair.

“Hands on my bum” I whispered in between kisses and although he still looked surprised he did what I told him.

One of his big hands traced down my back slowly until he reached my butt and squeezed it lightly. The other hands kept wandering over my cleavage, making me the surprised one.

We kept making out and at one point, I tell you, we had completely forgotten about the fact that we were agents of the MI6 and in the middle of an important mission.

When the door opened and revealed an armed security guard we almost didn’t hear him at first.

“What are doing- oh”

We immediately jumped apart from each other and acted shocked and embarrassed.

“Oh my god, we are so sorry.” I apologized and acted like I was hiding behind my ‘husband’ in shame.

Dan told the security guy our names and showed him our invites. Mr and Mrs Goldsworthy seemed to be two were influential and people because the man didn’t ask us any more questions.

“I’m sorry that I interrupted you, Mr and Mrs Goldsworthy. This is just the lounge of Mr Hawkman and it’s my job to keep an eye on it.

“That makes sense. We didn’t know that. Since it was empty we assumed it didn’t belong to anyone. It won’t happen again, Sir.” Dan explained before we said our goodbyes and he walked me out of the building.

“That was – “ I started.

“Hot” Dan breathed, his cheeks still red.

“Close” I finished the sentence at the same time as Dan.

He cleared his throat awkwardly “Close, yeah exactly what I said”.

“So do you got it?” Agent Wolf then asked me, returning to his old cold self.

Dan X Reader

Word Count: 865

Genre: Smut

Find my prompts here and submit them here   [REQUESTS OPEN] 

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You stood there, silent, observing. Nestled against the doorframe of your’s and Dan’s bedroom, grasping a warm mug of hot chocolate in your hands and wearing nothing but your underwear and Dan’s black and grey chequered shirt. You smirked slightly at the endless huffs and puffs coming from Dan as he attempted to sort screws from nails, with his tongue slightly poking out of the side of his mouth. He liked to pull that face when he was concentrating, but on a video game or editing a video, now, his face looked overcome with anger.

“Hey you! Stop laughing at me!” Dan sternly instructed you. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the mess that he had created on the floor.

“Well unless you want to sleep on the floor tonight…” you laughed. “I could help you you know” you said softly as you walked over to him wrapping your arms around his neck. Dan gently shrugged you off, he didn’t want to appear helpless in front of you so you made your way into the lounge of your new apartment and watched some TV, attempting to ignore the frustrated screams of anger coming from the other room.

A few hours had passed and you began to fall sleepy. Sluggishly, you walked back into the bedroom and to your surprise Dan had finally finished building the bed that you had bought precisely 7 hours ago.

“wow, I’m impressed” you whispered in his ear as you yet again pulled him into one of your famous bear hugs. Dan was exhausted; he rested his chin on your head and all you could hear in the moment was his heart beating and his heavy breathing.

“and now, we sleep” Dan said as he pulled away from the hug and collapsed onto the messily-made bed.Yet again, you chuckled at his impulsiveness. “Not so fast mister” you said slowly, “you haven’t got your reward yet.” His face looked confused yet he knew exactly what you meant.

Your naked thighs sat on top of Dan who was sprawled out on the bed. “Damn, you look hot in my shirt” he said breathlessly. “Wow you only just noticed huh?” you questioned as you began to stroke his chest, currently straddling him. Slowly, you moved backwards and forwards, gently yet carefully, making sure that your first night in your apartment together was well remembered. Tiny moans escaped his mouth as he threw his head back, exposing his neck, leaving you to lean forward. You began pecking on his jaw at first before you made your way down to his neck, leaving hickeys on his soft skin.

“Y/N, You know what you do to me” Dan moaned as he gripped onto your hair, weaving his fingers amongst the strands. He moved you towards his lips and you felt his warm breath before they collided with yours.

Breaking the kiss, you look down to see the tent that had formed in Dan’s jeans. You undo his belt and slide off his jeans, tossing them to the other side of the empty room. in this moment, you didn’t care about anything else, all you wanted was to be there with him and feel his warmth. You wanted to be held by him as you moved together amongst passionate sounds of breaths and moaning. Before you knew it, he was inside you. It felt better than ever before and you let out a little cry at the shock of his size. “You okay, love?” he whispered. You could only nod due to the sheer pleasure that you were feeling.

Moments passed, tangled hair, mountains of sheets and heavy breathing. You had been with Dan for a year now but never had you wanted him so bad, his whimpers were turning you on even more as he gripped your waist, straddling on top of him. Your heart was pounding and you could feel the eruption beginning to bubble inside you. “D-Dan” you moaned “I’m close”. He began powerfully thrusting into you as the both of you were creating a mass of noise. “me too” he cried.

Suddenly, a shiver was sent down your whole body and you felt him explode inside you. Dan had never managed to make you come before, this was the first time and it felt amazing. You lay on top of him, burrowed into his neck, intertwined in the white sheets.

Peacefully you lay there with each other until suddenly, you heard a snapping sound beneath you. “Uh.. Dan” you cautiously said before you both fell and collapsed to the ground, surrounded by wooden slats and nails. The bed had broken right beneath you. Despite the pain in your arm from where Dan had landed on it, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Well you clearly didn’t build that very well did you?” You chuckled at Dan. “I don’t think it was the bed sweetie..” he replied as he looked up at you with a glimmer of flirtation in his eye.