#dancingwithangels

you know, i really just hate school. like, shit, I just wanted to go to school and dress nice and stuff, I felt good, people said I looked good, blahblahblah, but, fuck, no, I couldn't feel good about myself for more than one period. shit, yeah, I totally wanted to know I don't look good in a skirt. not like I don't already know that shit or anything. fuck, of course not, I needed a pleasant reminder. and you know how one thing can set off, like, a completely different tangent of self-hating bullshit? yeah, like, one minute it's just 'oh, yeah, my knees are stubby and my legs are fat' and the next it's 'well, I don't look very good in this shirt, either. and, shit, my feet look huge in these shoes. and did I even think about my hair when I woke up? I shouldn't even fucking try.' I seriously just hate school. shits fucking useless. I have bad grades in like three classes, and I know I'm going to get in trouble, but I just can't bring myself to care, you know? shit, I can't eat without feeling guilty lately, like, little me in my head going 'wow, like you aren't fat enough, right? Christ, you're not even hungry, are you? you're always fake hungry, fatty.' fuck. just fuck. like, fuck a fucking duck goddamn fucking duck. home sucks. school sucks. fuck, shit just sucks.