#dancingjakep

5/10:

I... don’t know. They both always acted like those rumors are crazy, and I want to take their word for it. But they are really close, and talking to Ryder lately -- it’s almost like they’re sort of morphing into one person. Okay, that’s not fair, I guess I just was a little freaked out by the whole Uprising thing. But they must have a really special connection for Ryder to start thinking like Jake does and believing the same things as he does. I won’t lie and say -- um, I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t be a little bit weird for me, since people loved to remind me that I wasn’t as important to Ryder as Jake was when we were dating. I don’t want to feel like our entire relationship was a lie when it was the first one I’ve ever had, and... it’s still the only one I’ve ever had. But they’re not, right? I mean, they’re not dating? So I shouldn’t even worry about that, if they say they’re not together then I believe them.”

11/10. Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing... have you been reading my old diaries? Because I know I had a huge crush on Sam when we were kids, but that’s -- that’s over now, okay? Sam’s the best guy I know, and any girl would be 100% lucky to be with him. But I don’t think that girl’s me? At least, Sam’s never acted like he wants that girl to be me. I know we’re really good together, but I think maybe it’s just supposed to be as best friends and Sam’s supposed to be with someone who’s -- you know, prettier, and more experienced, and not just the sister next door or... or whatever he sees me as. I don’t know if my feelings for Sam ever 100% went away or not, but I want them to be gone so that I never lose my best friend. So please, please don’t make me answer this question. Because if I start thinking about it, then all that stuff’s going to just come rushing back, and... I can’t talk about this, okay? I’m sorry, I need to go.

10/10:

"Yes. Yes, I think things are completely over between me and Jake. At least, I want things to be completely over between me and Jake. I want to be able to forget about him, and move on with my life, and to stop comparing every guy I meet to him. We tried, we tried what feels like a hundred times, and we just never quite got it together. That has to mean something, doesn't it? Mean that we're not right for each other? I'd be lying if I said a part of me didn't still love him, but I just have to let that part go. I know that's the best thing for both of us, because whatever it is we're doing now, it feels like we're still skirting around each other and being weird, and...I just can't live my life like this. I need to find a way to stop being stuck in the past, no matter how much I wish I could make my past a part of my future."

5/10:

No! No, of course I wouldn't, I would never -- I mean, I think I would never. I don't like the way they do things, I don't believe in violence against the humans being the answer. But... but I don't know, I guess if someone ever hurt my mom, maybe I'd be mad enough to. I don't think so, though, I don't think I'd -- and I don't think she'd want me to. No. No, I'm just going to say no. Me in the uprising? It's just...too weird. Wrong. It's wrong."

2/10: 

You really think Puck doesn't want one? I can see him being pretty stoked about getting to lift it in the air like Simba, and teaching it how to play football and stuff. It's not really a secret how I feel about the whole baby thing, dude. I want one more than anything, so uh -- I mean, if you're sure they don't even wanna be dads, then it's kind of crap that they get to be and I don't. But if they're feeling it like they should be, then I guess I'm still a little jealous but mostly just call dibs on being the cool uncle."

5. Well, um -- I don't think I should be saying anything mean about them, since they're my teammates, and I'm sure they're nice girls. Not that Quinn's ever been nice to me, but um...that's a different story. Anyway, who Sam dates isn't really any of my business, I know that, but even though I know it, I can't help but feel like it is my business. And if I'm being totally honest -- okay, you have to swear not to repeat this, please? I don't want Sam to get mad at me or to get creeped out because he thinks I, like, have feelings for him or something, but they're just...they're not good enough for him. Sam's the best guy in the whole world, and he deserves somebody that's really going to appreciate everything about him, not jerks who are going to try to change him or roll their eyes at them for just being himself. And...okay, there's more than that, too. I guess I'm a little bit jealous. Not because I want Sam to like me like that, because I totally don't, I'm pretty sure I got over that whole crush thing by the time we got to middle school and he was really popular and I wasn't. but they just take up so much of his time. What if we're not in the same place next year, and we waste this year not hanging out enough because he gets another girlfriend? I know it's really selfish, but I just kind of want him all to myself until it's time for everything to change.