#dancinginthekitchen

In our years of working with couples, one truth stands out: relationships aren't about avoiding mistakes, they're about how we handle them when they happen.

Just like in partner dancing, stepping on toes is inevitable. It's not the misstep that defines the relationship; it's what happens next.

Here's what dance teaches us about handling relationship mishaps:

Acknowledge the Impact

Recognize when you've caused pain

Don't minimize your partner's experience

Stay present in the uncomfortable moment

BE Responsible, Don't Take Responsibility, Own It

No blame-shifting

Own your part

Drop the defenses

Express Genuine Remorse

Show empathy

Validate feelings

Make it about their hurt, not your guilt

Replace Hurt with Healing

Offer genuine repair attempts

Ask what they need

Follow through with changed behavior

Keep Dancing

Don't let fear of future mistakes hold you back

Use the experience to grow closer

Trust the process of learning together

At Couples Who Dance, we use dance as a modality to help partners practice these skills in real-time. There's something powerful about learning to recover from physical missteps that translates beautifully into emotional repair.

Remember: A perfect dance isn't one without mistakes, it's one where both partners know how to recover and keep moving forward together. It's okay to step on each other's toes sometimes. It's part of learning the dance, so acknowledge the hurt caused and replace it with love.👣❤️

The Next Step

Are you ready to choreograph a stronger, more harmonious relationship? We invite you to join us. Our book, "...And So, We Dance," dives deep into these concepts, providing practical exercises and insights to help you and your partner move together in perfect rhythm.

We also offer workshops and retreats where you can experience the transformative power of dance firsthand. Whether you're dealing with communication challenges or simply want to deepen your connection, we're here to guide you through the beautiful dance of partnership. You can visit our website or contact us directly for more information.

Remember, a great relationship, like a great dance, requires practice, patience, and a willingness to move together. Are you ready to take the lead in transforming your partnership? Take our Relationship Check-In Survey

Let's connect and discuss how you can bring more rhythm and harmony into your relationship!

Move Together, Grow Together.

James and D’Leene DeBoer

Couples Who Dance

📷@Hales_Trails

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're speaking to your partner, but it feels like you're talking to a brick wall? Or perhaps you've had the frustrating experience of saying one thing, only to have your partner hear something completely different? If so, you're not alone. We have wildly different communication styles, so we come up against the misunderstandings this can create. We have found ways to keep it from causing harm to our partnership through the non-verbal communication dance offers. It’s why we’re so passionate about sharing it with other couples.

In this article we will guide you through some helpful information so you can be informed on your journey, and we’ll include helpful tools to realign with your person. So let’s get on the right step together. Move together, grow together!

The Challenge of Communication Styles

One of the biggest pain points in relationships is the clash of communication styles. Some of us are direct communicators, while others prefer a more nuanced approach. Some express emotions freely, while others tend to keep feelings bottled up. Our attachment styles have a huge impact here and that’s something we will explore more at another time. These differences can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and even conflict.

But what if we told you that the solution to these communication woes might not involve words at all?

The Silent Language of Dance

As relationship experts and authors of "...And So, We Dance," we've discovered a powerful tool for enhancing non-verbal communication: Dance. Partner dancing isn't just a fun activity or a way to stay fit; it's a profound method of communication that can bridge the gap between different communication styles.

Here's how dance enhances non-verbal communication:

Body Language Awareness: Dancing makes you hyper-aware of your partner's body language, teaching you to pick up on subtle cues and signals.

Emotional Attunement: Through dance, you learn to sense your partner's emotional state without a word being spoken.

Trust and Vulnerability: The physical nature of dance requires trust and allows for vulnerability, both crucial elements in effective communication.

Synchronization: Moving in harmony with your partner teaches you to sync up on a physical level, which often translates to better emotional and mental synchronization off the dance floor.

Dance and the 5 Love Languages

Interestingly, dance touches on all five love languages identified by Gary Chapman:

Physical Touch: The most obvious connection to dance.

Quality Time: Dancing together is undivided attention at its finest.

Words of Affirmation: While dancing itself is non-verbal, it often involves verbal encouragement, loving support, and praise.

Acts of Service: Learning to dance for your partner can be a profound act of service.

Receiving Gifts: The gift of dance lessons or a dance date night can fulfill this love language.

Practical Tools for Enhanced Non-Verbal Communication

Even if you're not ready to hit the dance floor, you can start improving your non-verbal communication today:

Mirror Exercise: Spend 5 minutes mirroring each other's movements. This builds awareness and synchronization.

Silent Gaze: Practice maintaining eye contact for 2 minutes without speaking. This builds comfort with non-verbal connection.

Touch Communication: Try expressing emotions through touch alone, without words. This enhances sensitivity to physical cues.

Breath Synchronization: Spend a few minutes syncing your breathing. This creates a powerful, wordless connection.

The Dance of Life

By enhancing your non-verbal communication skills, you're not just improving your ability to understand each other; you're deepening your connection on a fundamental level. You're learning to dance through life together, in perfect harmony.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you're intrigued by the power of non-verbal communication and want to explore how dance can transform your relationship, we invite you to join us. Our book, "...And So, We Dance," dives deep into these concepts, providing practical exercises and insights to help you and your partner move together in perfect rhythm.

We also offer workshops and retreats where you can experience the transformative power of dance firsthand. Whether you're dealing with communication challenges or simply want to deepen your connection, we're here to guide you through the beautiful dance of partnership. You can visit our website or contact us directly for more information.

Remember, a great relationship, like a great dance, requires practice, patience, and a willingness to move together. Are you ready to take the lead in transforming your partnership? Take our Relationship Check-In Survey

Let's connect and discuss how you can bring more rhythm and harmony into your relationship!

Move Together, Grow Together,

James and D’Leene DeBoer

Couples Who Dance

What's your experience with non-verbal communication in your relationship? We'd love to hear your thoughts!