A/N: I apologize for not posting in a while. I tend to procrastinate by getting caught up in video games...

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this fic. I personally love Angst Fics so I decided to make another one. 

* Trigger Warnings: SELF-HARM, Depression *

Word Count: 1, 548

 Your POV

You dunk your head into the bathtub, sitting there drowning in your thoughts. "You are worthless. No one cares about you, not even you're best friends Dan and Phil." You lift your head out from underneath the water, looking around the empty bathroom of your shared flat with your two best friends. Phil was away, and Dan was off in the living room probably scrolling through Tumblr. Your eyes wander the bathroom cabinet, thinking of the box you've hidden deep within it. "Do it" your mind says.  

"No I can't. I promised Dan and Phil I wouldn't." You mumble to yourself. "This is the best way to cope with how you're feeling. To change your emotional pain into physical." There's a voice trying to convince you to hurt yourself again. You've done it in the past, depression hit you hard a few years ago. But once you met Dan and Phil they helped you out of it (sort of). But for the past few months you have been feeling worthless, and sad all around. Maybe this is the best way you could cope. 

You get up and go to the cabinet, open it and dig around for the small box at the back. You never knew why you kept the razor, maybe in case you fell back into self-harming. You open it, the clean, shiny razor resting gently inside of it. You grab it, and sit back into the tub that still is filled with water. The razor hovers above your skin, you take a moment to realise what you’re doing.  

"Fuck I can't do this." You put the razor on the ledge next to you as you feel a warm tear fall down your cheek.  "C'mon, just do it. One little cut" You look back at the razor, it was so tempting. You grab the razor, dragging it across the skin on your wrist. More tears fall from your eyes as you do this. "One more" the voice in the back of your mind tells you, and you drag the razor across your skin one more time. 

"Fuck" You drop the razor into the bathtub, instantly washing your wrist in the water your sitting in. "fuck fuck fuck fuck" You start mumbling to yourself, regretting what you've just done. You've been clean for months now, you can't get back into this again. You clean the cuts as you break out into a sob. You head jolts up as you hear a loud knock on the door. 

"Everything okay in there Y/N?" You hear Dan's voice coming from outside the door. 

"Um, yeah everything's fine." You manage to say. 

"Okay. When you're done come up and play some Mario Kart with me. I'm in for some ass kicking." Dan's footsteps slowly disappear as you hear him make his way upstairs. You hop out of the tub, patting your wrists with the towel you hung up next to you. Quickly, you dry yourself off, and put on a jumper that covered your wrist well. You look at yourself in the mirror, checking if it was obvious you were crying then walk over to the tub again and drain out the water.

"Nope I'm clear." You open the door, throwing the towel you used into your room before joining Dan in the office. Dan was playing Mario Kart alone while you were in the washroom. He pauses the race, and smiles as you enter the room. 

"Looking beautiful as always Y/N" You blush as he says that, and gently smile at him back. "Don't let Dan figure out what you've done. He might not be able to handle it again." Your smile instantly turns into a frown as Dan looks back at the screen, focusing on the race. All you could feel was guilt. "Care to join?" He says, patting to the spot next to him on the couch. You walk over, pulling your sleeves over your hand in order to keep your wrist hidden.  

~Small Timeskip~

 "CMON GO GO GO GO GO" Dan is yelling on the edge of his seat. You're so close to winning but Dan is catching up.

"FUCK NO" You yell, as Dan's Mii passes you at the last minute. "FUCKING HELL" You throw your arms up in frustration, the sleeves of your jumper falling down slightly revealing your fresh cuts. You quickly put your hands back down, pulling your sleeves over your hands again, praying Dan didn't see anything. You look over to Dan who was staring at the TV screen.  

"Um...we'll do another round. I just need to go to the washroom first." Dan says, getting up from the couch slower. As he walks out you notice his face has gone pale. Oh no.... 

Dan's POV 

I get up to go to the washroom, just to think about what I just saw. "Were those cuts on Y/N wrists? No it can't be she's been clean for months....although..." I walk into the washroom, leaning on the sink and start thinking to myself. "It can't be, she seemed so happy for the last while. But she has been acting strange lately."  

I start pacing around the washroom, but stop in my tracks as something shiny catches my eye. I walk over to the bathtub, and find a razor laying on the bottom, with a little bit of blood on it. "Oh god no." I stare at the razor, "Please no. I love her so much she can't keep doing this to herself. Fuck I'm supposed to be there as her best friend, although I wish I was more, to help her and make her happy. But I wasn't even there to stop this."  

I hear footsteps coming from behind me and I hear someone at the door. 

"Hey Dan ready for round tw-" Her voice trails off as she notices that I'm looking at the tub. "Um, Dan lets go upstairs." She grabs my wrist and tries to pull me out of the washroom but I tug it back.  

"Y/N what happened?" I say softly, feeling a tear roll down my face. My back is still turned to her, I don't know what to do. 

Your POV

 "FUCK THE RAZOR" Your heart is beating out of your chest and you try to hold back sobs from escaping. Dan's back is turned to you, his eyes fixed on the bathtub below him.

 "Dan I'm sorry." You choke out, collapsing to the floor sobbing. You bury your face into your hands, your tears making your hands wet.

 "Y/N." Dan's arms pull you into an embrace while he sits next to you on the floor, running his fingers through your hair. "Why did you do this?" His voice cracks and you try to look into his eyes but the tears are blurring your vision.  

You sob once more, trying to get the words to explain to him. "I-I don't know Dan. It's just l-lately I've been feeling so worthless and I didn't want to be a burden-" You would have continued but no more words can come out.  

"Y/N look at me." You cups your cheeks with his hands, wiping away the tears from your eyes. "You do not know how much it hurts me to see you do this. I care about you so much, and I want you to talk to me about this stuff." You nod your head, then Dan pulls your face into his chest gently, stroking your hair as you cry more, taking in his scent to calm you down.  

After a while you finally pull away from Dan, wiping the tears away with the sleeves of your jumper. You look up into Dan's brown eyes and realize that he was crying too. "Dan I'm so sorry." You say, more tears threatening to fall. 

"Oh no don't worry about me love." butterflies erupt in your stomach. "He just called you love" you think. He pulls you into another hug, and kisses the top of your head.  

"Still, I'm sorry for being a burden on you." You pull away from him. He shakes his head and grabs your hand in his. He lifts up your sleeves, revealing the two cuts on your wrist. "Dan what are you-" He leans his head down, giving your cuts soft kisses.

"I love you so much Y/N. I will always be here for you." He looks into your eyes with a loving look. You smile at him, and look down at the ground.  

"I love you too Dan." You say quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. You feel his hand lift up your chin, and he leans in his face inches away from yours. You stare into his eyes, smiling at him once again. He closes the gap between the both of you, pulling you into a loving kiss. You pull away, looking over at the bathtub and get up from the floor. You lean down, picking up the razor then looking over at Dan. He looks at you concerned, but you walk over to the trash can and throw the razor into it.