#damnaticius

FEAWEFUIOHAWEF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT I LOVE THIS

@damnaticius

i'll change my url

     NORMALLY, FARNESE DIDN’T like the snow. In fact, she hated everything about the cold, and the feelings that came with it: Loneliness, fear, isolation. It reminded her of everything bad, of being numb, entirely blank of reason when she’d run about the halls with a candlestick in her cold-bitten hands, hoping that it’s flame would give warmth and comfort while she set fire to the curtains at home. It reminded her of the bitter isolation as she huddled in her blankets to shield herself, and cower while the other kids played.

     “ I don’t understand...How do people find enjoyment in this, ”   She would say to herself, disgruntled. Perhaps she could try to imitate what she saw other people do in the snow. Farnese rolled up a ball of snow in her gloved hands before breaking it apart, only to kneel down and gather more for her to do it again. After a while of repetition she let go of her last snowball, and began to scamper around like a child, focusing only on the crunching beneath her feet, forcing herself to find enjoyment-- as she saw everyone else have a better time, she wanted to be like them. Seeking entertainment in something so trivial, or rather, something that made her want to huddle in a closed space and sleep. 

     It went on for about three minutes, her hopping about, and the fleeting moment of enjoyment came to another end, and she would decide on something else. The young woman looked about, what was everyone else doing ?  Could she do it, too ?  Farnese rests on her knees to gather up a pile of it. How did people make snowmen, anyways ?  Her head filled with doubt of herself, even for something so menial, and her brows furrow from her failure at creating anything, frowning at the lack of cooperation from something that has no mind to cooperate. 

     “ I... ”  She sighs,  “ I have no idea what I’m doing, ”   Or why I even bother.