#daegufied

The little café two blocks away from Yoongi’s studio once held so many fond memories of her, of them, that he could only look back to it with a smile plastered on his usually stoic face, but that changed when she invited an unwanted guest, her boyfriend who Yoongi didn’t know of until the day she appeared with the said man in one of their friendly dates. It was the day he felt betrayed, heart and mind in chaos, but like a good friend, he didn’t hold it against her.

In the same café months after the unfortunate encounter, another hurricane left Yoongi in ruins. His heart almost stopped beating when she announced her wedding. Everything was too sudden for him to take in.

“Are you sure about this?” Yoongi questioned her decision. He carefully chose his words not to offend his friend in any way.

The sparkle in her eyes answered Yoongi’s question even before she let her voice be heard. “You don’t have to worry. I’m a big girl now,” the smile on her face sealed the deal of Yoongi’s heartbreak. He felt it clutching his heart in a lockdown, like a chokehold that was blocking his airways, but on the outside, he was so good at keeping his cool, no trace of hurt or awkwardness could be seen on his face or gestures.

“Well, congratulations then!” He said those words with a smile. He was a convincing liar after all.

She returned the smile with her own sweet one which undeniably got Yoongi weak on the knees, but it did not ease the painful throbbing of his heart. In fact, it became a catalyst that prolonged his agony.

“Yoongi,” she called out to him with her soft voice. “I need to ask a favor though.” Her small hand found its way on top of his, patting it lightly.

The action had Yoongi flinching, but she was too elated to notice the sudden twitch of his body, always too dense to notice the little things. “What favor?” he asked, putting a lot of effort to look and sound interested.

“Please escort me down the aisle with mom.” She made it sound so easy for Yoongi. He wanted to hate her for being too insensitive, but she didn’t know the storm raging inside him; therefore, it was wrong to blame her.

Yoongi knew her request was something he could not deny. Growing up together, he was aware of her family situation, her mother carrying out the role of both a mother and a father to her. He didn’t have the heart to disappoint her like how her late father did.

Taking her hand in his, Yoongi nodded. “Anything for you!” and he meant every word he said. Because no matter what, he would try and be by her side until he was no longer needed.

When autumn leaves started to litter the streets and rain frequented the city, Yoongi finally made a choice to let go, realizing that he should stop trying hard and end up hurting for a love that he could not have, but not before giving his last gift. Dressed in his favorite black suit and a bowtie to match the whole sleek outfit, he went to her wedding like a man on a mission to end his misery.

The wedding hall was decorated just as what she told him the last time they met. Tulips, lilies, and daffodils littered the place, from the aisle to the tabletops. Shades of blue were all over the hall, and Yoongi could tell that she was behind everything beautiful in the vicinity, a personal touch. The thought of her dream wedding coming to life made him feel small, pathetic even, but then, it solidified his decision to move on with his life.

Although Yoongi didn’t want to see her before the wedding cortege, her mother asked him to go to her with the words, “You know, Yoongi… she’s waiting for you.” Whether or not it was true, he could not say no to the older woman, so with a heavy heart, he went out of the wedding hall to meet her at the bridal room situated on the same floor.

Standing rooted in front of her room, Yoongi could hear his heart thumping loudly and painfully against his chest, but the stoic look on his face would never reveal his true feelings, not even a bit. It was his defense mechanism, to appear unaffected on the outside when he was crumbling down inside. His head was filled with negative thoughts, and before he could knock on the wooden door, it opened, revealing someone he dreaded to see, her groom.

“Hey!” The man greeted while holding the door wide open for Yoongi, a friendly smile tugging the corners of his lips. “Go inside. I’ll see you two later,” he patted Yoongi’s back, and Yoongi took it as a cue to go inside, not before smiling at the other guy in return albeit a little too forced. The man waved at him for the last time and went on his way.

Across the room, she was standing by the full-length mirror all dolled up and ready to go, facing Yoongi and showcasing a smile similar to her groom’s. She was wearing the whitest gown he ever saw, just like of snow fall and clear clouds. She looked stunningly beautiful even without trying so hard.

Yoongi was frozen in place, and she didn’t wait for him to approach her. She practically ran to him, wrapping her arms around his middle as if she had not seen him days ago.

“Yoongi.” She uttered his name like it was something precious that gave Yoongi false hope. He knew seeing her before the actual ceremony would shake his choice. How could he let go of someone like her? She was perfect for him, but he wasn’t the right one for her.

Yoongi shrugged the unwanted fantasies off of his mind and enveloped her small frame in his arms, savoring the moment he knew might be the last. “You okay?” he felt her nod against his shoulder.

“A little,” she confessed while pulling away from the warm embrace, forcing Yoongi to snap out of the illusion he cocooned himself into. “But you’re here… I’ll be fine. Thanks to you,” but Yoongi would not be fine; it would take some time to mend his broken heart.

The wedding march was like static to Yoongi’s ears. The music eventually blurred, becoming a distant noise to him, and for a minute, it seemed like time stopped when she stepped inside the wedding hall. He could tell that everyone was appreciating her beauty, a fairy tale princess personified.

For the last time, Yoongi allowed himself to look at her more than a friend would. He took her hand in his and smiled at her in a way that a man would. It didn’t matter now because he was losing everything anyway. She held onto him tightly, and it was enough for Yoongi to feel loved even though it was not the kind he yearned for since the day he felt a different kind of emotion while looking at her.

Together with her mother, the three of them slowly walked to the altar. For Yoongi, the experience was out of a tragic novel, dreadful and heartbreaking. As they near the man waiting at the end of the aisle, the older woman stopped to pull her daughter into a tight embrace. After that, her mother approached the groom ahead of them, hugging the man as well. Yoongi was left to accompany her until the end. But before they continued on their way, he inched closer to her and whispered, “You know that I love you, right? Take care and live happily with him.” He meant a different kind of love, but she didn’t have to know that. At least he had put his true feelings into words before leaving her.

It was time for Yoongi to move on, far away from them. It would not be easy, and it might take long for him to heal.

2/7 = running away and breaking off friendship