#dadspiration

When my oldest son, who will be turning 9 next week, was in pre-School one of my favorite things to do was show up early with the hopes of watching him in his element.

I was reminded of these days earlier this afternoon. My youngest son, whose two years old reminds me so much of my oldest. Granted they are brothers, it’s still uncanny just how similar they really are.

I found myself in our kitchen, attempting to prepare dinner when I found myself with the burger burning on the stove as I stood watching my two boys play in the living room. Well, the baby was playing, the oldest was sleeping on the couch. From jumping over his brother, to only turn around and do it again in the other direction, to putting the magic 8 ball in his brothers palm as he dreams the dreams of a nine year old.

It amazes me how often I find myself watching my boys from the other room. It’s not to say that I don’t get on my hands and knees to play with them, but it’s times like these that I’m reminded just how much more I need to.

For the few people that I’ve let get close to me in this life they know that I grew up without a dad. It’s honestly been one of the hardest things to over come in my life. I’m 30 years old and I still struggle. I love my boys more than anything in this world, it has been my life’s dream to be a dad, and my life’s joy to be theirs.

I remember my mother saying when I was a kid that “we didn’t come with instructions”, children certainly don’t. However, I do find myself wishing for that “how to be a dad for dummies” book to come out any day now.

I pray it’s the mark of a good dad, but no matter what I do I always have this nagging feeling that it isn’t enough. Then it hits me, sometimes the best things a dad can do is be there.

My Dad, Style Icon.

then she takes the spoon that she’d been eating her lunch with and holds it up in front of her face and goes “hi, i’m a spoon” and so i take the first thing i can reach, which was a can of soda, and hold it up and go “hi spoon, i’m a can” and she squeals and goes “THAT’S SO FUNNY” and we spent the whole lunch making the spoon and can talk to each other

oh and THEN when i was coming home on the subway there was this mom with her lil son and he was so small i almost missed him making faces at me but once i noticed i started making them back and like, sticking my tongue out and opening my mouth real wide and whatever HE DID, I DID. and he found it so funny, he was laughin and laughin, and also he had these huge glasses that magnified his eyes like 6 times, so every time he’d look up at me i’d burst out laughing because he looked so geeky and adorable

man i had such a fun days and i just love kids so much