#dadpassedaway

For the life of me, I would have never thought I would be a mother.  I can’t imagine my life now, without my son. My beginning was not a easy one, I faced many hardships through the birth of Logan. 

Logan Ray Jones was born to Ethan and Callie Jones on May 5, 2017 at 7:05am, at the Fort Worth Baylor Hospital.  I went into labor the day before at work, I just finished a haircut when I told my client that I needed to use the restroom. Well that’s when I found out my water broke and I was more than ready to drive myself to the hospital. Needless to say, my coworkers and family wouldn’t let me. My best friend Lindsey, drove myself and my mother in law to the hospital. Along the way, we were stopped by a cop for speeding. My contractions were pretty close together and we thought Logan was coming then. But that wasn’t the case. The little stink waited till the next morning to come, so I was impatient for the rest of the night! But the wait was well worth it, I love my sweet little man. 

Logan was born 4 weeks early, I was expecting a full term pregnancy but that was not the case. I guess the many 5Ks and climbing/hiking helped with the early labor. Which it was a good thing that Logan did come early.  My dad had been fighting cancer for awhile and he was in and out of the hospital for chemo. A couple of days after Logan was released out of NICU, my dad was admitted into the hospital for a decline in his health.  Dad was released out of the hospital on hospice. Most of my family came to my parent’s house to say their goodbyes to dad. Dad was still active for how sick he was, he would still play golf with the guys. 

It wasn’t till a couple of weeks later when he took turn for the worse. My dad developed fluid buildup in his stomach. He was non responsive and he had trouble with foods and drinks.  His pain was unbearable for him, he only wanted to sleep. I spent the last few days of his life at my parents house, where he passed away in his sleep. I still remember feeding him his last meal and I was happy that he was able to keep that down. 

Dad took his last breath in the hospital bed with Dustin leaning over him and mom holding his hand tightly. I was beside them on the couch just holding Logan close for comfort. I wasn’t prepared to lose my dad so soon. His first grandson, by blood, was just born. He had to stay alive to be there for Logan’s firsts. I wanted to scream, I wanted to let all of my hurt out. I thought in those moments the “what if’s” could change the course of history. What if dad never had cancer? What if he never had any of the back pain? What if the VA actually took care of him life they were suppose to?