#dad jin

"Jin, please," you sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted to the point where your shoulders drooped heavily, leaning forward to rest your hands against the back of the couch. "She just fell asleep, let's drop it." Jin stood across from you, a frown on his face and his chest rising with pent-up anger. "Okay," he decided, his voice much softer now compared to the long stretches of yells he had been at for the past fifteen minutes. "Only if you agree to stop nagging me."

Your eyes fell shut at his words, shaking your head. "I wasn't nagging you, Jin. I only asked you to be careful."

"You-" he stopped momentarily, throwing a glance to his daughter's room before continuing, his finger pointed straight at your face. "You began this argument, you were the one who stepped on the Lego, and you shouldn't take your anger out on me."

"What?" your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Anger?"

He nodded, straightening up and folding his arms across his chest.

"What anger?" you asked lamely, taken aback at yet another word he brought up in the fight.

"First off, it's not my fault that you didn't see the Legos on the floor. You got hurt by it and you're blaming me-"

"Because you forgot to put them back," you intervened, raising an eyebrow at him because you knew you were right.

"Is that why you didn't even give me a second to spare before you came onto me? I understand you're tired, but I'm tired too. It's not a pleasant feeling to have you ask me about something that I can't even remember doing as soon as I step foot into my house, (Y/n)."

Your mouth fell open, blinking rapidly as you took desperate steps towards him to clear a misunderstanding. "I didn't start this because you forgot to put back the Legos, Jin. I simply asked you to remember to put them back the next time you have the boys over, because our daughter isn't old enough to understand what is not meant to be eaten, and you know that. She eats anything and everything she sees, and the last thing we need is for us to rush her to the hospital because she choked on a block of Lego that you left out in the open."

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm not a good father?" he narrowed his eyes at you who was now standing in front of him, your words uttered in hushed whispers in fear of waking her up. You blinked in disbelief, forming a fist to punch at his arm. "That is not what I said."

"Seems like you're trying to point out my mistakes when it comes to our child. Do you need me to remind you that your slate isn't clean either?" He gave you a pointed look.

"What the hell Jin?" you frowned, feeling cornered by his words. "I am not trying to point out your mistakes, neither am I trying to tell you that you're not a good father. You're the best father my baby could have and you know that."

"Then just forget it! Okay, I made a mistake, I forgot to put the Legos back in place because we went back to the kitchen to eat dinner and I went to sleep right after. And were you satisfied with my explanation? Nooo," he stretched out the word, his eyes widening animatedly as he tried to get his point across to you.

"You just have to go on about me being careless and you stepping on it and hurting your leg, and how I didn't clear up the dishes last night, which just so happens to be the only day I left the kitchen in a mess before I went to bed, and you know that."

You rubbed your forehead, a heavy sigh escaping your mouth. "Why are you overreacting?"

"I could ask you the same thing, lady," he smiled at you, but it wasn't genuine. He was taunting you with it and you knew that. "Jin..." you began, but he shook his head.

"You don't get to dump all of this over my head the moment I enter the house after I've worked the whole day. You don't know how irritating that is, and as much as I hate to admit it, you are getting on my nerves." He shook his head, moving forward to walk past you and take a seat on the couch with a loud huff.

"And what do you think I've been doing the whole day? Hatching eggs?"

"(Y/n)," he turned to look at you, but his eyes were closing in frustration. "You should leave this, you're the one who's dragging this on."

Your hands raised to rest against your hip, a firm nod following. "Okay, I am dragging this on. But I need a solution to this. You get worked up when I tell you to do one thing, and I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut every time you throw your shit on me?"

His eyes opened, staring at you in bewilderment, "When do I ever throw my shit on you?"

You laughed, walking towards him and also taking a seat, his body turning to face you. "Why do you question me when there is no water in the fridge? When you're the only one who drinks cold water in this house?"

Jin scoffed, throwing his head back in anger as his jaw clenched, thinking back to the argument you had just yesterday over such a tiny matter. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Oh- I have more. What about the time I had to take an unplanned leave from work to stay back with our daughter, only because you got so drunk that you literally spent the night at Yoongi's place without telling me anything?"

"(Y/n)," his voice lowered, warning you not to push it any further.

"What? Can't take it when I show you a mirror?" You snapped, shoving a finger in the direction of your daughter's room. "That little girl is only 2, and you expect me to single-handedly take care of her? Is this the whole point of parenthood? Of marriage?"

His eyes flickered to the door that you pointed to, then back to yours, hurt flashing across his expression. "You're talking as if I'm not present."

"That's because you're not, Jin," you sighed, reaching forward to gently take his hand in yours. "She sees lesser of you every day, and it's not easy for me to keep defending you when she asks for her daddy. I can't keep telling her that you love her to no end and that she's the apple of your eye, because you're never around for her to feel that."

"But I do love her," he whispered, his eyes glossing over with tears, "I love her more than anything in this world."

You smiled sadly at him, squeezing his hand, "Then make time for her, I'm not asking you for much, she's your daughter."

"Who do you think I'm working so hard for? It's for her, for you, so that she can be proud to know that if she ever needs something, her daddy can get it for her in the blink of an eye."

"But she needs you, Jin," you pressed, "She's not at the age to want extraordinary things, she just needs her father to be with her, to throw her up into the air, to carry her around the world on your hip, to sing her to sleep. She needs you, and you're not there."

"You're being unfair," he murmured, slipping his hand out of your grasp to run it through his hair. "I am trying my best, but it's not possible for me to be there all the time, given the job that I have. Plus, in a few years, she won't even remember if I was there to put her to sleep or not, she's only a baby."

You looked at him, stunned at his reply. "You don't think your presence or absence plays an important role in these years of her life?"

"She's only a toddler, (Y/n)," he tried to explain, but you held up a hand to stop him.

"Then why did you get so upset when she called out to Namjoon as her daddy? Why? He works the same job as you do, yet his presence is more evident in her life than yours."

You watched as his jaw clenched at the memory, his eyes narrowing as he snapped his head to yours. "Are you so desperate to have the upper hand in this argument that you stoop so low? Did you really have to remind me of something that had hurt me so bad?"

"Jin," you shook your head, but he stood up abruptly, silencing you with a firm hand in front of your face. "Stop."

You stood up too, but you were soon greeted with an accusing finger that was raised to the level of your eyes. "You know what? This is the reason why I stay out later than I should. You, you are the reason. We never had these issues before she was born, but now you're using her as an excuse to blame me for things that you've never had the nerve to confront me about."

Your eyes widened, holding his finger to lower it, "Using her?" you whispered in shock, unable to believe that these words were coming from your own husband.

He nodded, turning away and walking back towards the front door which he walked through just twenty minutes ago. "Whatever shit you're trying to accuse me of, you're to blame too. It's not the easiest thing to be married, to have a child, and sometimes it makes me wonder if I-" Jin stopped himself, his fingers pausing its movements over the back of his shoe that he was trying to pull on, his eyes flitting up to meet yours.

"If you what?" you probed, your heart beginning to race in anticipated pain. "Why did you stop?"

He turned away, slipping on his shoes and reaching for his coat and keys that were dangling next to the door. You walked up to him, grabbing him by his arm as he reached for the handle of the door. "If you what? Finish what you were trying to say," you urged him.

He scoffed, his head falling back in frustration, his patience wearing thin by the second. With a solid glare, he threw his coat over his shoulder, pushing you aside by your shoulder to open the door. "Tell me," you repeated again, "Are you trying to run away from confronting me about something?"

He paused again, only this time to face you completely.

"I wonder if I made a mistake in choosing you as my life partner."

With that, he was out the door, making sure to slam it shut. You stood frozen by the door, your eyes trained on the spot he was standing just a moment ago, the gust of wind from the closing of the door knocking the air out of you. Maybe it would've been better if you had just let him leave without asking him to complete his sentence, then you wouldn't have been so crushed.

Your daze was one of the many reasons why your responses were delayed to the shrill cry that came from the room, your head turning slowly as you tried to blink away the pain. Three hours of endless stories that made no sense, songs with your made-up lyrics about unicorns and turtles that you sang off-tune, patting and cooing her patiently until her eyes drooped, all went down the drain. Now how were you supposed to muster up enough energy to do the same thing again, after being broken by the one man who was your very source of strength?

~

"Hyung, slow down," Yoongi gripped the bar above his head, eyes panicked and form tensed as he glanced over at Jin. "You're going too fast, we're in a residential complex."

Jin stayed silent, his jaw clenching as he replayed your words over and over again. Even as he slowed his speed, much to Yoongi's relief, Jin felt like he was trapped in a box with no air to breathe. He just couldn't believe that you brought up the one thing that he made you promise never to speak of again, and it drove him way past his limits. Even though his sane mind tried to reason out with him and make him realize that in no way was it right for him to speak to you the way he did, all he could focus on was the sound of his little girl giggling as she stretched out her arms towards Namjoon, addressing him with the one word that was only reserved for him.

That was possibly the worst day of his life, and to be reminded of it was just as painful as experiencing it that day. Even as he let out a breath, even as he stopped the car by the side of the road because he could no longer see it through the tears that were pooling in his eyes, Jin felt so rotten.

Somewhere within him, he wished he hadn't told you what he did, especially before he left the house. There was no doubt that he didn't mean it, choosing you, marrying you, having a daughter with you, had been and will always be the essence of his life. Yet, something made him want to hurt you just as much as you hurt him. And even as Yoongi wordlessly patted Jin's back, he had no idea what to do next. How could he face you? Would it be possible to sit down and talk it out? Would he be able to apologize for what he said and also express that your words had hurt him too?

Maybe he could.

Or maybe not.

Because the moment he saw your name flash across the screen in his car, his blood ran cold. Yoongi sat confused, wondering why Jin wasn't answering, however, all Jin could think of was that you never call him first. Never.

Through all the years he'd been with you, after countless fights and arguments, you had never been the one to initiate a conversation after a fight.

It was something that he took pride in, something that gave him enough time to come up with something incredibly cheesy and lame that made you giggle even though you tried your hardest not to, eventually letting him hold you to him.

But what was this?

Why were you calling him not even an hour after he left?

"Why aren't you answering it?" Yoongi asked, waving a hand in front of Jin who looked like he had just seen a ghost in daylight. "Hyung?"

"Hm?" Jin didn't even understand what Yoongi was speaking, his thumb subconsciously running over the band that sat on his ring finger.

Yoongi frowned, deciding that he had heard enough of the annoying ring of the Bluetooth speakers, reaching forward to answer the call. Jin blinked in panic, his fingers clenching as he tried to quickly come up with an apology, but both the men found themselves frowning at the sound of crackling, leaning forward to hear better.

"-house Jin!" your voice finally rang through the car.

"What?" Jin asked you, yet all he could hear was the sound of things shuffling. "Can you hear me?"

"Jin we-" He held his breath, "-fire!" your voice suddenly boomed through the speakers, the sound of your daughter screaming in the background becoming loud and evident as Jin fumbled to turn off the Bluetooth and hold his phone to his ear. Yoongi got out of the car in an instant, running over to Jin's side, only to push him all the way across onto the passenger seat of the car, taking over the wheel as Jin tried to desperately get a response from you.

"(Y/n)! Can you hear me? Where are you?" he rushed, his legs beginning to tremble in fear when he could no longer hear your voice.

"Go home, right now!" He yelled at Yoongi who was already driving straight to your house, a deep frown on his face as his knee bounced in worry. With one hand, he pulled out his phone to call for help, knowing that Jin wasn't in his senses to think straight.

"Oh God," Jin whispered, looking down at his lock screen to see his two precious girls, grinning at the camera with the giddiest smiles on your faces, his daughter's eyes twinkling with joy as she gripped onto your hair, the two of you looking the happiest you had ever been. Jin's heart burned, looking out the window aimlessly as he clutched his phone to his chest, his fingers shaking with dread.

"Please be safe, I'm coming. I'm coming home."

~

Jin was so shocked that he actually stopped moving, at all. He somehow managed to get out of the car, but he stayed there, his glassy eyes reflecting the angry yellow flames that had now devoured the entire ground floor of his house. He watched it as if it was a scene from a movie, his feet, and hands cold as ice in comparison to the burning fire that was now making its way up to the top of the house. The top floor of the house.

His daughter's room.

If there was something that could snap him out of the horror-stricken state that he was in, it was the sight of you. Jin visibly shivered when he saw a hand opening the window to his daughter's room, your head popping out with your daughter firmly held to your chest, her wails loud and piercing even through the loud roar of the fire.

People were gathering and there was a fire truck pulling in just as Jin took his first blind step towards you, wishing that his arms that were stretching out would magically reach you and bring you out to safety. Yoongi was now standing right below the window, eyes squinted as angry bursts of smoke hit his face, his arms reaching up just as you were carefully lowering your daughter down with a blanket that was wrapped around her.

"(Y/n)," Jin looked up, his eyes momentarily falling on his daughter who was now almost in Yoongi's arms, looking back up to see your face scrunch up in pain, your arms trembling as you leaned over the window until she was in the safety of Yoongi's arms. Within an instant, both Jin and Yoongi, who now held her to his shoulder and pulled off the blanket, were pulled violently by a few people dressed in orange suits, Jin's arms reaching out only to see you turn back and run into the room.

"Wait wait, what is she doing? (Y/N)!" Jin suddenly yelled, his eyes widening as he finally understood the seriousness of the situation. He struggled to free himself from the man who was holding him back, his words of instruction a simple buzz in the background as all Jin could focus on was that you were not jumping off of the window too. Why did you go back in when the house was literally on fire?

"DADDY!" Jin turned at the sound of a shriek to see his little girl with Yoongi, the side of her face black and visible streaks of tears traveling down her chubby cheeks, one arm outstretched as she called out to him while the other clutched at Yoongi's collar.

"Go, the team will get your wife out," the man who was holding him back encouraged him, Jin looking back to the room as his heart dropped, tears falling from his eyes when he still could not see you. He watched for a moment as a few people rushed in, the hose on the truck now spraying powerful jets of water over the walls and through the windows. Jin cried, his legs wiggling like jelly as he walked back to Yoongi, pulling his daughter into his arms and burying her face into his neck, patting her back to calm her even though loud sobs were racking through his own chest.

Jin dropped to his knees, his eyes never leaving the burning house in front of him, a house that the two of you built from scratch, looking frantically between the window and the door, hoping desperately that he would just see you once more to settle the erratic thump of his heart. With each cry that came from his daughter, Jin cried twice as much, his body bending forward as he shielded his little girl from the scene that was unfolding in front of him.

"(Y/n)," Yoongi suddenly whispered, all eyes now following the two firefighters who were walking out with you in their arms, a thick black blanket covering you completely as they wobbled their way past the front door, making their way to safe ground as they placed you down. An ambulance that Jin had no idea was there notified everyone of its arrival, paramedics rushing towards you as the same two firefighters unwrapped the blanket from around you.

"She's got no pulse!" Jin heard someone yell, his grip on his daughter tightening as he watched someone straddle your stomach immediately, performing CPR on you.

"No," he whispered, plopping onto his butt, eyes only focused on you as you lay on the floor, eyes shut lifelessly as your whole body shook violently with each push against your chest. "Mama?" His little girl turned, pointing a finger in your direction as Jin's face grew pale. "Mama!"

"Come back," He mumbled, eyes not leaving you even once as the man who was performing CPR on you switched with someone else, one of the paramedics holding an Ambu bag over your mouth. Jin froze for a moment along with everyone else as they checked for a pulse, a guttural sob escaping his chest as he bent forward, his heart clenching as they began performing CPR again after declaring that you still had no pulse.

"No, God, please..." Jin begged, not even realizing it when Yoongi had pulled your daughter away from him, falling forward and joining his hands. "Please, God! Don't let anything happen, please," Jin cried, his body shaking with fear of not seeing you again, not holding your hand again, not hearing your laugh, or seeing you smile again.

"Please," he croaked, a hand reaching up to bang at his chest as he began coughing. What if you died thinking that he doubts his love for you as a partner? What if he never got to apologize? How would he raise his daughter without you?

How could he ever live without you?

"Please don't leave me."

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Part 2