— read the other chapters here
Shiro is the first of the team to reach Lance and Keith. He ignores the rest of the team cheering and screaming behind him, pumped up by the win. He runs right up to them, grabbing them both by their arms, inspecting them up and down for damage or injuries. He doesn’t see any, but not all injuries are external, maybe –
“We’re fine, Shiro,” Lance says softly.
“You don’t know that, what if you hit your head –”
“We’re fine,” Keith reiterates, and his eyes are just as soft.
Shiro exhales deeply, closing his eyes briefly and letting some of the terror whoosh away. He loops his arms around their shoulders, crushing them both against his chest.
“I was so fucking worried,” he breathes.
He doesn’t need to see Keith’s face to know the boy is rolling his eyes.
“We were fine, you worrywart. We knew what we were doing.”
(Lance, wisely, keeps his mouth shut.)
Shiro pulls back, raising an eyebrow.
Look, Shiro loves his kids. Really. A lot about his current situation sucks – being forced to be a gladiator? Sucked. Non-consensual body modification? Sucked. Fighting in a war he didn’t sign up for? Sucks. – but he honestly would not go back and change things. Not if it meant losing his kids. His kids are brave, they’re smart, they’re good and kind and wonderful and thoughtful and strong.
They’re also impulsive dumbasses who Shiro occasionally wants to smother. (Okay, maybe a little more than occasionally. In his defense, if they did less stupid things, he would want to kick their asses less.)
Lance and Keith are the prime examples of this phenomena. Like, Shiro could go on and on about how proud he is of them. He could also go on and on about how the rest of his hair is also turning white, and it is at least ninety-four percent their fault.
Seriously. Pod racing?! On a planet famous for dirty deals and lawlessness?
“You sure you guys are fine?”
“Yes,” Keith says, exasperated.
“Good. Then that means I can do this.”
He reaches over and slaps them both upside the head.
“Saw that one coming,” mutters Lance, rubbing the back of his neck.
“What were you two thinking?” Shiro shouts. “I like to think I’ve done a decent job keeping you safe! Both of you, but especially you, Keith! I’m pretty lenient, sure, and maybe I should have nipped that demolitions obsession in the beginning, but overall I think I’ve done okay!”
Keith has the good grace to finally start looking guilty, but Shiro’s too worked up, now.
“Fucking pod racing! Did you plan this out, thinking ahead? No. Did you have a contingency plan for if and when someone decided they weren’t gonna play by the rules? No! You made it up as it happened! Which –” Shiro falters a little. “Well, it was a good plan, but still!”
“We’re sorry, Shiro,” Lance says, reaching up to hug Shiro tightly.
Keith nods. “What he said.” He reaches over next, wrapping his arms around his brother just as tightly.
Yes, his kids are impulsive dumbasses. Yes, they stress him out. Yes, he can still feel the terror pumping through his veins, and he’s likely going to have nightmares of the Electrifier charging up and shooting at the two for months.
But, like. Objectively. They really kicked ass.
“I’m proud of you two,” he says, sagging into their embrace.
Lance giggles. “I knew you thought it was cool.”
Shiro rolls his eyes, pulling away. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t do it again.”
“No promises,” Keith teases, grinning, making Shiro pinch him.
“Are you done lecturing them, Dad?” Pidge complains from behind him. “I want to go collect their winnings! And then I want to see if I can find a lightsaber!”
The word ‘lightsaber’ draws Keith and Lance’s attention so quickly that it’s comical. Shiro sighs, shaking his head fondly. He could grow a set of arms out of his ears and do a cartwheel and that wouldn’t get their attention, anymore. Dragging them – any of the kids – away from a conversation about lightsabers is going to be impossible. (Not that he wants to draw them away, that is. As long as they stick to the buddy system Shiro’s happy to let them explore around. Also, he won’t lie – he’d kind of like to see if they can find a lightsaber, too.)
“We won’t find a lightsaber, Pidge,” Lance argues. “It’s Tatooine. Not the Jedi Palace. Besides, we don’t know if this is actually Tatooine. It could just be a planet that resembles it.”
“Well, I mean, we could look.”
“Yeah, fair. Hey, let’s check that place out –”
“Buddy system! Please do not wander off alone!” Shiro calls as everyone starts to split up.
Allura rolls her eyes, teasing, before grabbing Hunk and Pidge’s hands to drag them off somewhere. “Okay, father.”
Shiro pretends that doesn’t make him feel all warm and fuzzy. He is fooling no one.
Keith and Lance, who have a lecture fresh in their minds, are a little less testy.
“We’ll stick together, dork. Quit worrying.”
“We’ll keep our comms on! Love you, Shiro!”
Soon, only him and Coran are left just outside the racetrack, carefully watching the rest of the kids run off until they’re no longer visible.
“I have not seen them so free of stress for many varga,” Coran notes quietly. “It’s good to see them so happy.”
“It is. I wish they were less happy doing dangerous things, but. You know. Teenagers.”
Coran snorts. “I do know. Allura was not the first child I have reared, but she was the most stressful. She went through a phase in her early teenhood where she was convinced she was foing to work in a circus, and attempted on more than one occasion to juggle luxite blades.”
“Oh, I feel you on that one,” Shiro says, picking a random direction and starting to walk. Coran does not hesitate to come along. “Keith’s obsession was demolitions, which was about as stressful as you’d expect.”
The two paternal figures of Voltron continue on their walk, sharing stores of various ridiculous and terror-inducing situations they’ve found the paladins in. Shiro tells Coran of the time he caught Lance attempting to parkour off Blue’s snout – 40 feet in the air – with zero safety equipment. Coran, in return, tells Shiro of the time he found Hunk and Pidge shocking themselves with various foreign batteries, to attempt to discern their voltage by feeling.
Shiro feels like he’s finally joined a single-dad support group, something he’s secretly wanted to do since 11 year old Keith stole his car for the first time. (Adam would be so proud of him. The thought makes him melancholy, as usual. He misses his partner. He hates that he doesn’t know what Adam is to him, anymore. He wishes they’d at least had the chance to break off on better terms. More than anything, though, he wishes he could see Adam again. Differences or no, anger or no – Shiro loves that man, and will until he dies. It’s genuinely painful to know Adam is not in his life.)
Coran lays a kind hand on his shoulder. “You’ve gone morose, Number One. Anything you’re comfortable sharing?”
Shiro stops walking, right in the middle of the street.
Is he comfortable sharing? Is Adam something he’s ready to disclose? This team is his family, in every possible way. He trusts them more than anything. But Shiro has a responsibility, as their leader. He’s supposed to be the one they rely on, not the other way around. Shiro has to be strong enough to handle himself.
The truth is, though, he’s really not strong enough. As much as he feels like he ages a year everyday, he’s really only twenty-five. (Twenty-six, really. Twenty-seven? Who knows. Time is weird.)
Coran notices his hesitation and turmoil, pulling him gently to the side of the dirt road so they’re not creating a massive block for all the foot traffic.
“You know,” he says after a moment, “you are only a person, Shiro. You are not a mindless drone, a soldier to the Coalition. You are a living person with thoughts and emotions and stressors, and you are allowed – encouraged, really – to feel these emotions. We want you to express yourself, Shiro. We don’t want you to bottle yourself up. You may be the leader, child, but you are still very much a part of the team, which means you can lean on us as we lean on you.”
Shiro takes a deep, shuddering exhale. His eyes close, his hands shake, and he does everything he can to keep himself upright.
“I can’t let anyone down,” he chokes out, right as the tears give way. “I can’t, Coran, they need support, they need –”
“They need you, Shiro, as you are. Just as you are.”
Shiro sobs, and Coran catches him as he collapses forward. Goosebumps erupt over his skin, and his flesh burns in every place that Coran touches. A feeling bursts in his chest, and some of the terror he’s been holding with clenched fists finally leaves.
He cannot remember the last time he’s been held so protectively.
“Let it out, child,” Coran soothes. “Let it out.”
Shiro stays in Coran’s arms, for minutes, hours, days. He doesn’t know how long. All he knows is that the foreign feeling shooting through his body is safety, and he’s been deprived of it so long that he had completely forgotten how quiet it makes his brain. For the first time in what feels like forever, he can hear thoughts in his mind that aren’t crowded in panic.
Shiro quickly pulls away, trying desperately to wipe his eyes even though he knows they must be red-rimmed and swollen.
“Lance. What happened to the buddy system? Where’s Keith?”
“He just left to join everyone else, I saw you before he let me go. We were safe.” He steps forward, placing a gentle hand on Shiro’s arm. “What’s wrong, Shiro?”
Shiro does his best to plaster a reassuring smile on his face, but it’s flimsy at best and Lance is no idiot. “I’m fine.”
Lance flits his eyes to Coran. “What’s wrong? Why is he upset?”
Coran, bless his heart, shakes his head. “Not my story to tell, Number Four.”
“Shiro,” Lance says, voice firm, “before I say anything else, I need you to understand something. Look at me.”
Shiro has no choice but to obey. Lance’s tone leaves no room for argument.
“You are loved, do you hear me? I love you. I fuckin’ adore you, Shiro. We all do. I am so proud of you that it is truly ridiculous. Do you understand me?”
There is nothing he can do to keep his face from crumpling all over again. Somehow, in spite of not hearing a word from Shiro, Lance read him like a book and knew exactly what to say.
“Aw, Shiro,” Lance says, pulling him into his third major embrace of the hour. Lance gets on his tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his cheek and making a loud ‘mwah’ noise. “It’s okay, Shiro. Take some time. Here.” He moves one hand back from Shiro’s shoulders, rummaging through his bag. He grabs a water bottle, handing it over. “Drink this, or you’re gonna get a headache.”
“Thank you,” Shiro rasps, realising suddenly that yeah, holy shit, he’s parched. He resists the urge to chug the whole damn bottle down, taking a couple sips, but gives in when Lance raises an eyebrow.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better, lad,” Coran says, patting him on the back.
Shiro shoots them both a small smile. “Yeah, I am. Thank you. Both of you.”
Coran returns his smile, but Lance squints at him, contemplative.
“Hm. No. We are not done here. Hold on a second.”
He turns around, pulling out his comm and dialing someone. “Hunky-bear, light of my life! …Yeah, yeah, okay. I do need something. Has Keith dragged you guys to that knife stand again? …Yeah, thought so. Did you see the booth before it? …I know! You know who needs that place more than anyone else? …Mhm. I’m with him and Coran now. Meet us there in five? …’Kay! Love you.”
Shiro exchanges a look with Coran. Lance's plans are kind of a hit or miss. Plans going awry isn’t really the problem – his ideas almost always go exactly as planned, as Lance is an excellent strategist. The problem lies in the ideas themselves – sometimes Lance forgets that, unlike him, most people fear death.
Lance is already speedwalking away, though, so Coran and Shiro trip after him. (Buddy system, Lance, Jesus!)
“Where are we going?” Shiro asks after a couple minutes of powerwalking.
Lance smirks at him. “You’ll see.” And there’s nothing else Shiro can get from him in the short walk they take to the rest of the team. And it is a short walk, as it’s only been a few minutes and Shiro can already see the rest of the kids standing off to the side of the road.
“Shiro!” Everyone calls his name in unison, facing literally lighting up, and –
Shiro swallows the lump in his throat, tears threatening to bubble right back up, but they’re happy, this time. Gods above, he loves his fucking team.
Before he has a chance to greet them back, Lance pushes him gently through a purple curtain that serves as the door to – well, to somewhere.
“Lance, where are you talking me, seriously –”
In front of him, in a giant, fluffy pile on the stone floor, are more puppies than he can count. Dozens of ‘em. Blonde puppies, curly-haired puppies, puppies big and small. Yipping puppies and puppies sitting quietly. Every puppy you can possibly imagine, tussling and crawling on the floor.
“Oh my God,” Shiro breathes.
He hears various giggles from behind him, and Lance lovingly shoulder-checks him.
“Oh my God!” Shiro can no longer hold himself back – he rushes forward, landing on his knees with his hand outstretched in front of him. At first one by one, a couple puppies amble forward, sniffing his hand curiously before yipping excitedly and jumping all around him. Once a couple establish that he’s safe, the rest come stampeding over, running jumps from every angle that knock him flat on his back. The puppies are undeterred, continuing to crawl all over him.
“This is the best day of my life,” Shiro says, muffled under two puppies wrestling on his face. “I love you guys. You guys are the best.”
Various ‘Love you too, Dad!’s chime out, before Shiro hears six people shuffle forward, presumably to join him in the puppy pile. Shiro has never felt so safe.
Hours later, when the Tatooine suns are low in the sky and they decide to trek back to the Castle, Shiro hangs at the back of the group, pulling Lance back with him.
“I wanted to say thank you,” he starts. “You really helped me, Lance. Seriously. I needed to hear the words, and they were especially meaningful coming from you. I’m sorry you had to deal with that on your birthday, though.”
Shiro is expecting a few different responses to that, and he can honestly say that a punch to the arm is not one of them.
“Were you not listening to me? What part of ‘we love you and want you to be healthy, Shiro,’ did you miss?”
“I got that. I just… I dunno. Isn’t your birthday supposed to be about you?”
Lance softens. “Shiro. First of all, it’s just a day. Yeah, it’s an important day, and I’m happy to celebrate it, but really and truly – it is simply a day. Secondly – and I want you to get this through your thick skull – there is nothing in this universe more important to me than my family. Nothing. And you are my family, Shiro. I want to know that you are healthy and happy, and if you’re not – which is fine and normal, remember that – I want you to be better. That’s it. There’s no greater gift to me than my family.”
“...You’re a good kid, you know that?” Lance flushes, and Shiro wraps an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his har. “A good fucking kid, Lance. I love you.”