you’re my tear
pairing: jihope genre: angst, break up au, rated pg warnings: breaking up, crying, heavy angst words: 1040
summary: Jimin’s such a child, no wonder Hoseok doesn’t love him anymore.
⇢ day five of jihope week 2018
"So that's it."
Hoseok nods from the closet, a suitcase by his feet. "That's it."
"You're not even going to try and fix this? Fix us?" Jimin asks, still seated on the bed.
"What's to fix?" Hoseok replies immediately, picking up his suitcase with the last of his things in it. "We've been over for a while."
Jimin shakes his head and wrings his hands together in his lap. "I don't understand. I thought we were fine."
Hoseok laughs humorlessly and walks towards the door, not bothering to spare a glance over his shoulder. "Jimin, we haven't been fine for a long time. We're just not in love anymore, plain and simple."
His back is to him, the line of his shoulders stiff. Jimin wants to scream, wants to kick and punch himself because this was never meant to happen. He loves Hoseok, has always loved him. He has been in love with him since they were kids, how could Hoseok say that they aren't in love anymore?
If someone is not in love anymore, then it's Hoseok, not Jimin. Jimin feels like his stomach has dropped right out of him as Hoseok walks down the hallway, steps measured and steady. The elder's resolve is unbending and Jimin wishes he could do something about this.
"Hyung," Jimin calls out, breath stuttering in his chest when Hoseok pauses. "You don't get to decide when I've stopped loving someone."
Hoseok sighs heavily, keeping still as Jimin stands and walks towards him. Jimin is sure of the fact that he isn't going to save this, that Hoseok is going to walk out that door and out of his life, but if he leaves then he has to know. Nothing is going to stop him from saying it.
"I do love you. Just because it comforts you to think that neither of us wants this does not mean that it is true and you know that. You know that I've always looked up to you, how long I pined after you. You don't get to tell me when I'm not in love with you anymore, do you hear me?" Jimin spits through his teeth, not expecting for this level of an outburst to come forth or for so much anger to channel through him either.
Whatever has been happening to the elder, whoever made him think otherwise, Jimin sincerely curses every and anything that convinced Hoseok Jimin didn't love him anymore. The apartment is going to feel empty and cold for a long while after Hoseok leaves, Jimin is sure of it, but he'll be okay eventually.
It will be hard to get over Hoseok, but not impossible. Jimin's loved him for as long as he can remember, but he still dated other people before they got together. He loved them as much as he loved Hoseok and the only reason they never seemed to work out is that they knew he didn't love just them. They knew his heart was big enough, but it never comforted their egos and it bruised their pride. Jimin got tired of putting on a mask a long time ago.
"Hyung, it's okay if you don't love me anymore," Jimin says, the words scalding his mouth as his heart trembles with each passing second, "but don't decide shit for me. I know how pathetic you must think I am for still being in love, how stupid you think I am for even admitting this."
Jimin is crying and he doesn't know when tears even began to pool in his eyes, but he's crying and it is ugly. Sobs wrack his chest. It's difficult to breathe and whenever tears threaten his vision, Jimin blinks them away as quickly as they came, wanting nothing more than for Hoseok to hold him. For Hoseok to comfort him one last time.
"I'll always love you, hyung," Jimin mumbles, sniffling like a child, "I will and it's fine if you don't love me, but don't lie about it to my face. I can't stand that. I hate liars and I don't want to hate you, no matter how much you wish I did."
Hoseok has said nothing so far, simply standing there as Jimin cries. His arms hang limply by his sides, hands curled into fists as Jimin wipes pitifully at his face. Jimin must look like such a kid to him with snot and tears running down his red, shiny face. He's an ugly crier and he knows it, such a contrast when compared to how beautiful Hoseok looks like when he cries, but he doesn't care. Jimin doesn't care about any of that anymore.
"If you are going to go, then at least kiss me goodbye one last time. I don't care if you don't love me anymore, I just need the closure," Jimin begs, feeling shitty and fucked up to his core. "Please?"
The elder does not say anything at all as he lets go of his suitcase and steps forward, using his palms to wipe Jimin's mouth clean. He grabs Jimin's chin and tilts his head up, leaning down quickly to press their lips together. Jimin stands there and merely enjoys the feeling, sure of the fact this is the last time they will ever kiss again.
When Hoseok pulls back, Jimin closes his eyes and listens to the elder pick his suitcase up and walk out the door. Jimin sinks to the ground as the front door slams shut and sobs into his hands, curling into a ball as he weeps.
He has always loved Hoseok and he always will, but Hoseok does not love him anymore and it's time Jimin faced the music and grew the fuck up. It is really no wonder Hoseok fell out of love considering Jimin still acts like such a kid, crying over the dumbest of things.
Heartbreak may not be such a dumb thing to cry over, but Jimin feels like an idiot anyway so he lets it all out as he wails in despair.
When Taehyung lets himself in a few hours later, he finds Jimin asleep on the floor, still curled up into a ball with dried tear tracks, snot covering his face, and his tiny, fragile heart broken.
